What Is Bullying

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BCMS
What Is Bullying
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Video
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Did you know?

• The word bully used to mean the total opposite
  of what it means now.
• Five hundred years ago, it meant friend, family
  member or sweetheart.

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Exposing the Myths
1. Bullying is just teasing T or F
FALSE
Bullying is much more than teasing. While many
bullies tease, others use violence, intimidation,
and other tactics. Sometimes teasing can be fun
bullying also hurts
2. Some people deserve to be bullied T or F
FALSE
No one ever deserves to be bullied. No one asks
for it. Most bullies tease people who are
different in some way. Being different is not a
reason to be bullied.
3. Only boys are bullies T or F
FALSE
It seems most bullies are boys, but girls bully
too.
From The Bully Free Classroom by Allan L. Beane,
Ph.D Free Spirit Publishing Inc. Minneapolis, MD
www.freespirit.com
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4. People who complain about bullies are babies
T or F
FALSE
People who complain about bullies are standing up
for their right not to be bullied. Theyre more
grown-up than the bullies are.
5. Bullying is a normal part of growing up T
or F
FALSE
Getting teased, picked on, pushed around,
threatened, harassed, insulted, hurt, and abused
is NOT normal. Plus if you think its normal,
youre less likely to say or do anything about
it, which gives bullies the green light to keep
bullying.
6. Bullies will go away if you ignore them. T
or F
TRUE and FALSE
Some bullies might go away. But others will get
angry and keep bullying until they get a
reaction. Thats what they want.
From The Bully Free Classroom by Allan L. Beane,
Ph.D Free Spirit Publishing Inc. Minneapolis, MD
www.freespirit.com
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7. All bullies have low self-esteem. Thats why
they pick on people. T or F
FALSE
Some bullies might have high self-esteem. They
feel good about themselves, and picking on other
people makes them feel even better. Most of the
time, bullying isnt about high or low
self-esteem. Its about having power over other
people.
8. Its tattling to tell an adult when youre
being bullied. T or F
FALSE
Its smart to tell an adult who can help you do
something about the bullying. Its also smart
to tell an adult if you see someone else being
bullied.
9. The best way to deal with a bully is by
fighting or trying to get even. T or F
FALSE
If you fight with a bully, you might get hurt (or
hurt someone else). Plus you might get into
trouble for fighting. If you try to get even,
youre acting the same as the bully. Then the
bully might come after you again to get even with
you. Either way only makes things worse.
From The Bully Free Classroom by Allan L. Beane,
Ph.D Free Spirit Publishing Inc. Minneapolis, MD
www.freespirit.com
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What is Bullying?
Bullying is when one person uses power in a
willful manner with the aim of hurting another
individual Repeatedly.
Not Bullying Regular conflicts among students
may include Sitting in another students chair,
pranks, disagreements, teasing among friends.
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What Is Not Bullying
When talking about bullying, it is very important
for parents (and teachers and kids) to understand
what bullying is not. Many times, a single act or
behavior is blown out of proportion, but it is
not considered bullying.
Some people think that bullying is any aggressive
behavior and although such behaviors are a source
of concern and need attention, it is important to
separate them from bullying. Bullying is
recurring and deliberate abuse of power.
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Understanding Bullying
In any communication, verbal or nonverbal, there
are two sides involved. Bullying is a form of
communication and depends not only on the giver
but also on the receiver. For an incident to be
considered bullying, the aggressor must want to
hurt someone and the victim must perceive the
incident as a deliberate act of abuse.
http//www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/pare
nting-family/bullying-3-what-is-not-bullying/
SOURCE
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Not bullying list These incidents on this list
are NOT considered bullying
Accidentally bumping into someone - When people
bump into others, the reaction depends mostly on
the bumped person's mood. If they have had a bad
day, they may think it was an act of aggressive
behavior, but if they are in the good mood, they
smile back and attract an apology. This is also
relevant for playing sports, like when kids are
throwing the ball at each other and accidentally
hit someone on the head. Some accidents happen
without any bad intention and it is important not
to create a big conflict, because it was NOT an
act of bullying.
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What Is Not Bullying
Making other kids play things a certain way -
Again, this is very natural behavior. Wanting
things to be done our way is normal and is not an
act of bullying. Everyone should work to
resolve the conflict. This might mean those in
disagreement playing different things.
A single act of telling a joke about someone -
Making fun of other people is not fun for the one
being made fun of, however, there is a fine line
between having a sense of humor and making fun of
someone. Jokes should also be amusing for all
those involved. If not, they should stop. Unless
it happens over and over again or is done
deliberately to hurt someone, telling jokes about
a person is NOT bullying, however, it is still
against school policy.
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What Is Not Bullying
Arguments - Arguments are just heated
disagreements between two (or more) people (or
groups). It is natural for people to have
different interests and disagree on many things.
Think about it, most of us have disagreements
with ourselves, so it is very understandable to
have disagreements with others. The argument
itself is NOT a form of bullying, although some
people can turn arguments into bullying because
they want to win the argument so much. They use
every means to get what they want and find a
weakness in the other person. They abuse
knowledge or trust they have gained and use it
against the other person. It is very important to
distinguish between natural disagreements and
bullying during an argument. We will cover
Conflict Resolution later.
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What Is Not Bullying
Isolated acts of harassment, aggressive behavior,
intimidation or meanness - The definition of
bullying states that there is repetition in the
behavior. Bullying is a conscious, repeated,
hostile, aggressive behavior of an individual or
a group abusing their position with the intention
to harm others or gain real or perceived power.
Therefore, anything that happens once is NOT an
act of bullying. It is important that you pay
attention to what your kids are telling you and
find out if things are happening more than once.
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Bullying can be
DIRECT Face to face
Verbal Insults, putdowns, teasing, harassment
Physical Shoves, pushes, hitting, assault
Psychological Rolling eyes, dirty looks, uttering
threats
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Bullying can be
INDIRECT Behind someones back
Relational Aggression Telling people not to be
friends with a victim
Exclusion Leaving out Shunning
Gossip Lowering peoples opinion about the victim
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How does it make you feel?
Depressed
Hurt
Alone
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Does it have to be a part of growing up?

• No
• Each and every person has the right to feel safe
  in their life and good about their self.

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Questions?