Chapter 5 Loving Ourselves and Others

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Chapter 5Loving Ourselves and Others

• Key Terms

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• loveA deep and vital emotion that satisfies
  certain needs, combined with a caring for and
  acceptance of the beloved and resulting in an
  intimate relationship.
• emotionA strong feeling, arising without
  conscious mental or rational effort, that
  motivates an individual to behave in certain ways.

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• legitimate needsNeeds that arise in the present
  rather than out of deficits accumulated din the
  past.
• illegitimate needsNeeds that arise from feelings
  of self-doubt, unworthiness and inadequacy.

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• intimacyAn interpersonal process that involves
  the expressing and sharing of emotions,
  communication of personal feelings and
  information, development of shared affection,
  support, and feeling closely connected with
  another person together with the willingness to
  commit oneself to that person despite the need
  for some personal sacrifices.

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• consummate loveComplete love, that includes
  intimacy, passion and commitment.
• love stylesDistinctive characteristics or
  personalities that loving or love like
  relationships can take.

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• erosCharacterized by intense emotional
  attachment and powerful sexual feelings or
  desires.
• storgeAffectionate, companionate style of loving.

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• pragmaEmphasizes the practical element in human
  relationships.
• agapeUnselfish concern for the beloveds needs
  even when this requires some personal sacrifice.

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• ludusFocuses on love as play or fun.
• maniaRests on strong sexual attraction and
  emotional intensity , manic partners are
  extremely jealous and moody and their need for
  attention and affection is insatiable.

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• martyringMaintaining relationships by ignoring
  ones own needs while trying to satisfy all of a
  partners needs.
• manipulatingSeeking to control the feelings,
  attitudes and behavior of your partner in
  underhanded ways rather than by assertively
  stating your case.

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• self-esteemPart of a persons self-concept.
• narcissismCharacterized by an exaggerated
  concern with ones own self-image and how one
  appears to others, not with one's or others true
  feelings.

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• interdependenceA relationship in which
  individuals retain a degree of autonomy and sense
  of self, yet also make commitments to each
  other.
• A-frame relationshipsPartners have a strong
  couple identity but little individual self-esteem.

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• H-frame relationshipsPartners stand virtually
  alone, each self-sufficient and neither
  influenced much by the other.
• M-frame relationshipsEach partner has adequate
  self-esteem and partners experience loving as a
  deep emotion.

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• attachment theoryHolds that during infancy and
  childhood a young person develops a style of
  attaching to others.