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The Family is a System

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Title: Families, Lifestyles & Parenting Author: p_terry Last modified by: Terry, Pam Created Date: 6/16/2006 5:53:32 PM Document presentation format – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: The Family is a System


1
The Family is a System
  • Nuclear Family
  • Marital relationships
  • Parenting relationships
  • Sibling relationships
  • Interactive relationships

2
Time Spent in Birth Families
  • Nearly half of young adults return home after
    leaving
  • Many ethnic single adults tend to live at home
  • In the U.S. in 2000, average age of marriage was
    25 for women and 27 (29) for men.
  • 90 of North Americans marry at least once, and
    59-60 are living as married couples.

3
Nuclear Families Connect Extended Families
  • Extended Family
  • Grandparents, great-grandparents
  • Aunts, Uncles, Cousins
  • Tribes, Clans
  • Regional and Ethnic Groups
  • Nations

4
Functions of the Family
  • For Society
  • New members
  • Socialization of new members
  • Protection of the young
  • Provision for the young
  • Some regulation of behavior
  • For Individuals
  • Safe haven for individuals felt security
  • Identity
  • Material assistance

5
Historical Sociocultural ChangesHave Affected
the Family
  • Movement to urban areas mobility affects
    extended families
  • Economic depression/war demoralizes
    destabilizes families.
  • Decrease in family size changes parenting role
    structure
  • Divorce creates hodgepodge of family
    structures
  • Media technology distractions to family life

6
Socio-cultural Value Changes Have Affected the
Family
  • Belief that marriage is for personal fulfillment
    rather than a social contract (or religious
    covenant)
  • Belief that a stable environment is not required
    to provide the security needed for adult
    psychological function. (Later added children to
    this.)

7
Socio-cultural Value Changes
  • Belief that parenting is gender neutral.
  • Change in sexual morals and mores.
  • Belief in the importance of pursuing personal
    fulfillment.

8
Myths, Attitudes, Values Regarding Marriage
  • Relationship Uniqueness
  • Survey Results
  • Is chastity important in selecting a marriage
    partner?
  • Not important in the U.S., Sweden, Finland,
    Norway, Netherlands, Germany
  • Somewhat important in Japan Ireland
  • Most important in China, India, Indonesia, Iran,
    Taiwan, Palestine

9
Myths, Attitudes, Values Regarding Marriage
  • What is important in selection of a marital
    partner in the U.S.?
  • Housekeeping is not.
  • Emotional sensitivity is somewhat
  • Finding our soul-mates

10
Is being in love the only reason to marry?
  • Yes, in the United States
  • What is being in love?
  • Is it infatuation?
  • How is love regarded in other cultures?
  • Dependency on the other
  • Companionship and practical matters
  • Autonomy, appreciation of the other, intense
    emotion (our culture)
  • How are mates chosen in other cultures?

11
Cohabiting Adults
  • In 2000, 60 of couples were cohabiting
  • 1/3 of these relationships last less than a year
  • Less than 10 of them last 5 years
  • They are more egalitarian than marital
    relationships (Other than sex, you may be living
    as roommates.)

12
Cohabiting Adults
  • Disadvantages of cohabitation
  • Social disapproval
  • Emotional strain
  • Legalities of joint property
  • Potential problems of child custody
  • The experience of cohabitation changes attitudes
    and the nature of the relationship.

13
Cohabitation before Marriage
  • Most studies show that it leads to
  • Lower marital satisfaction
  • Lower happiness
  • Lower levels of commitment
  • Higher divorce rate
  • Some show no difference from non-cohabitants

14
Marital Expectations
  • Unrealistic expectations are probably a factor in
    divorce.
  • Couples spend little time reflecting on the
    decision to marry.

15
What are some unrealistic expectations?
  • Satisfaction increases through the first year of
    marriage.
  • The best single predictor of marital satisfaction
    is the quality of the couples sex life.
  • If my spouse loves me, he or she should
    instinctively know what will make me happy.
  • No matter how I behave, my spouse should love me
    simply because he or she is my spouse.

16
Dual-Earner Marriage
  • Role overload - conflict between work and family
    responsibilities
  • Role conflict being torn by the desire to excel
    at work and spend time with the family
  • These are greater for women

17
Dual-Earner Marriage
  • Usually the housework that is sacrificed
  • Can provide a better standard of living (not the
    same thing as quality of life)
  • Marital inequity is likely a factor in divorce.

18
Working Parents
  • Over 50 of moms are employed
  • Does this just take the time formerly devoted to
    housework more kids?
  • Would parents overinvest in their kids?
  • Small children in daycare may suffer in cognitive
    development, attachment, social skills.
  • Being a latchkey child is associated with
    delinquency, school problems drug alcohol
    use.

19
Many moms who can afford it are going home.
  • Ivy league schools have found that only 38 of
    their female graduates of childbearing age are
    actually in the workforce.

20
And why do we get divorces?
  • Poor conflict-resolution skills
  • Poor communication patterns
  • Younger age at marriage
  • Not attending religious services
  • Parental divorce
  • Multiple life stresses
  • Womens independence
  • No-fault divorce laws
  • Divorce is usually initiated by women

21
And then what happens? Single Parenting
  • Custodial Parents
  • Overwhelmed
  • Suffer financial decline (women)
  • Go into poverty
  • Non-custodial Parents
  • Have too little time with children
  • Feel alienated

22
And how about the children?
  • Lose a parent
  • Go into poverty
  • Feel they are to blame unlovable
  • Defend the innocent parent custodial parent
  • Step-parent or blended family adjustment
  • Tend to be insecure, fear abandonment
  • Caught in the middle
  • Trapped in awkward relationships
  • May change schools, friends, neighborhoods
  • Trouble with adult relationships

23
Who is Poor?
Sociocultural Influences
  • Women feminization of poverty
  • 1/3 of single mothers 10 of single fathers
  • Families and poverty
  • Economic pressure linked with parenting
  • Benefits to parents help children

24
Exiting Divorce
  • Having trouble trusting everyone
  • Heatheringtons Categories
  • Enhancers 20 - better off
  • Good enough' s end up about the same
  • Seekers 40 of men 38 of women
  • Libertines series of relationships
  • Competent loners dont remarry
  • Defeated worse off

25
Remarriage
  • On average, people remarry within 4 years.
  • Practical matters figure into this decision
  • Financial help
  • Childrearing help
  • Loneliness
  • The divorce rate is higher for second marriages.
    Only about 1/3 stay remarried.
  • Negative patterns transferred
  • View divorce as acceptable
  • Stepfamily situations

26
Staying Married
  • Most unhappy marriages dissolve between the 5th
    and 10th year
  • One study shows that if people with marital
    problems will stay together for five years they
    will have returned to marital happiness
  • 72 of people at midlife say their marriages are
    very good or excellent
  • The majority of older married adults say that
    their marriages are happy
  • Four times as many widows as widowers

27
Marital Satisfaction Is Good for Your Health
  • More men than women report being happily married
  • Being married is associated with gains in mental
    and physical health for men
  • Relationship quality has a greater impact on
    mental health for women
  • Women are dissatisfied when the demands of family
    and career are overwhelming.

28
Marital Satisfaction Is Good for Your Health
  • One study of married women ages 42-50
  • Happily married women had lower BMI (weight),
    hypertension, cholesterol, depression
  • Overall, being happily married means being less
    stressed
  • Being unhappily married is associated with higher
    rates of illness and earlier death.

29
Never Married Single Parents
  • Largest group is African-American young women
    (70 of births)
  • Why?
  • Tap the extended family
  • One-third marry later
  • Still have problems of poverty, poor school
    achievement of children and antisocial behavior.

30
What is Child Maltreatment?
  • Physical Abuse
  • Sexual Abuse
  • Neglect (physical, educational, emotional)
  • Emotional/psychological Abuse

31
Profile of Maltreatment
  • Most common offender is a young, poor, single
    mother who is overwhelmed and engages in neglect
    and psychological abuse
  • Factors are social isolation, unrealistic
    expectations of the child, substance abuse,
    depression, poverty, sickly or difficult child,
    other life stresses

32
Consequences of Maltreatment
  • Physiological stress hormones, abnormal brain
    wave patterns
  • Emotional rejection, anxiety, self-blame,
    psychological pain
  • Social discipline problems at school, poor peer
    relations
  • Eventually serious learning and adjustment
    problems, depression, substance abuse, academic
    failure, delinquency

33
Preventing Child Maltreatment
  • Research indicates that a trusting relationship
    with another person is the most important factor
    is preventing mothers with childhood histories of
    abuse from repeating the cycle.
  • Parents Anonymous

34
Skipped-Generation Families
  • Surrogate parenting grandparents take custody
    of their own grandchildren because the parent is
    not functioning due to such factors as drug
    abuse, mental illness, incarceration, adolescent
    pregnancy, divorce.
  • Includes about 5.6 million children

35
Childless Couples
  • DINKs - double-income, no kids
  • How many couples are voluntarily childless?
  • 3-6 or 10-15
  • Often has to do with career commitment

36
Unintended Childlessness
  • Career Women (Hewlett, 2002)
  • 33 were childless at age 40
  • 42 who worked in corporations were childless
  • 49 of (6-figure) ultra-achievers were childless
  • 25 of high achievers age 41-55 (31 of
    ultra-achievers) would like to have a child
  • No high achiever had a child after age 39 and no
    ultra-achiever after age 36
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