Title: The Family is a System
1The Family is a System
- Nuclear Family
- Marital relationships
- Parenting relationships
- Sibling relationships
- Interactive relationships
2Time Spent in Birth Families
- Nearly half of young adults return home after
leaving - Many ethnic single adults tend to live at home
- In the U.S. in 2000, average age of marriage was
25 for women and 27 (29) for men. - 90 of North Americans marry at least once, and
59-60 are living as married couples.
3Nuclear Families Connect Extended Families
- Extended Family
- Grandparents, great-grandparents
- Aunts, Uncles, Cousins
- Tribes, Clans
- Regional and Ethnic Groups
- Nations
4Functions of the Family
- For Society
- New members
- Socialization of new members
- Protection of the young
- Provision for the young
- Some regulation of behavior
- For Individuals
- Safe haven for individuals felt security
- Identity
- Material assistance
5Historical Sociocultural ChangesHave Affected
the Family
- Movement to urban areas mobility affects
extended families - Economic depression/war demoralizes
destabilizes families. - Decrease in family size changes parenting role
structure - Divorce creates hodgepodge of family
structures - Media technology distractions to family life
6Socio-cultural Value Changes Have Affected the
Family
- Belief that marriage is for personal fulfillment
rather than a social contract (or religious
covenant) - Belief that a stable environment is not required
to provide the security needed for adult
psychological function. (Later added children to
this.)
7Socio-cultural Value Changes
- Belief that parenting is gender neutral.
- Change in sexual morals and mores.
- Belief in the importance of pursuing personal
fulfillment.
8Myths, Attitudes, Values Regarding Marriage
- Relationship Uniqueness
- Survey Results
- Is chastity important in selecting a marriage
partner? - Not important in the U.S., Sweden, Finland,
Norway, Netherlands, Germany - Somewhat important in Japan Ireland
- Most important in China, India, Indonesia, Iran,
Taiwan, Palestine
9Myths, Attitudes, Values Regarding Marriage
- What is important in selection of a marital
partner in the U.S.? - Housekeeping is not.
- Emotional sensitivity is somewhat
- Finding our soul-mates
10Is being in love the only reason to marry?
- Yes, in the United States
- What is being in love?
- Is it infatuation?
- How is love regarded in other cultures?
- Dependency on the other
- Companionship and practical matters
- Autonomy, appreciation of the other, intense
emotion (our culture) - How are mates chosen in other cultures?
11Cohabiting Adults
- In 2000, 60 of couples were cohabiting
- 1/3 of these relationships last less than a year
- Less than 10 of them last 5 years
- They are more egalitarian than marital
relationships (Other than sex, you may be living
as roommates.)
12Cohabiting Adults
- Disadvantages of cohabitation
- Social disapproval
- Emotional strain
- Legalities of joint property
- Potential problems of child custody
- The experience of cohabitation changes attitudes
and the nature of the relationship.
13Cohabitation before Marriage
- Most studies show that it leads to
- Lower marital satisfaction
- Lower happiness
- Lower levels of commitment
- Higher divorce rate
- Some show no difference from non-cohabitants
14Marital Expectations
- Unrealistic expectations are probably a factor in
divorce. - Couples spend little time reflecting on the
decision to marry.
15What are some unrealistic expectations?
- Satisfaction increases through the first year of
marriage. - The best single predictor of marital satisfaction
is the quality of the couples sex life. - If my spouse loves me, he or she should
instinctively know what will make me happy. - No matter how I behave, my spouse should love me
simply because he or she is my spouse.
16Dual-Earner Marriage
- Role overload - conflict between work and family
responsibilities - Role conflict being torn by the desire to excel
at work and spend time with the family - These are greater for women
17Dual-Earner Marriage
- Usually the housework that is sacrificed
- Can provide a better standard of living (not the
same thing as quality of life) - Marital inequity is likely a factor in divorce.
18Working Parents
- Over 50 of moms are employed
- Does this just take the time formerly devoted to
housework more kids? - Would parents overinvest in their kids?
- Small children in daycare may suffer in cognitive
development, attachment, social skills. - Being a latchkey child is associated with
delinquency, school problems drug alcohol
use.
19Many moms who can afford it are going home.
- Ivy league schools have found that only 38 of
their female graduates of childbearing age are
actually in the workforce.
20And why do we get divorces?
- Poor conflict-resolution skills
- Poor communication patterns
- Younger age at marriage
- Not attending religious services
- Parental divorce
- Multiple life stresses
- Womens independence
- No-fault divorce laws
- Divorce is usually initiated by women
21And then what happens? Single Parenting
- Custodial Parents
- Overwhelmed
- Suffer financial decline (women)
- Go into poverty
- Non-custodial Parents
- Have too little time with children
- Feel alienated
22And how about the children?
- Lose a parent
- Go into poverty
- Feel they are to blame unlovable
- Defend the innocent parent custodial parent
- Step-parent or blended family adjustment
- Tend to be insecure, fear abandonment
- Caught in the middle
- Trapped in awkward relationships
- May change schools, friends, neighborhoods
- Trouble with adult relationships
23Who is Poor?
Sociocultural Influences
- Women feminization of poverty
- 1/3 of single mothers 10 of single fathers
- Families and poverty
- Economic pressure linked with parenting
- Benefits to parents help children
24 Exiting Divorce
- Having trouble trusting everyone
- Heatheringtons Categories
- Enhancers 20 - better off
- Good enough' s end up about the same
- Seekers 40 of men 38 of women
- Libertines series of relationships
- Competent loners dont remarry
- Defeated worse off
25Remarriage
- On average, people remarry within 4 years.
- Practical matters figure into this decision
- Financial help
- Childrearing help
- Loneliness
- The divorce rate is higher for second marriages.
Only about 1/3 stay remarried. - Negative patterns transferred
- View divorce as acceptable
- Stepfamily situations
26Staying Married
- Most unhappy marriages dissolve between the 5th
and 10th year - One study shows that if people with marital
problems will stay together for five years they
will have returned to marital happiness - 72 of people at midlife say their marriages are
very good or excellent - The majority of older married adults say that
their marriages are happy - Four times as many widows as widowers
27Marital Satisfaction Is Good for Your Health
- More men than women report being happily married
- Being married is associated with gains in mental
and physical health for men - Relationship quality has a greater impact on
mental health for women - Women are dissatisfied when the demands of family
and career are overwhelming.
28Marital Satisfaction Is Good for Your Health
- One study of married women ages 42-50
- Happily married women had lower BMI (weight),
hypertension, cholesterol, depression - Overall, being happily married means being less
stressed - Being unhappily married is associated with higher
rates of illness and earlier death.
29Never Married Single Parents
- Largest group is African-American young women
(70 of births) - Why?
- Tap the extended family
- One-third marry later
- Still have problems of poverty, poor school
achievement of children and antisocial behavior.
30What is Child Maltreatment?
- Physical Abuse
- Sexual Abuse
- Neglect (physical, educational, emotional)
- Emotional/psychological Abuse
31Profile of Maltreatment
- Most common offender is a young, poor, single
mother who is overwhelmed and engages in neglect
and psychological abuse - Factors are social isolation, unrealistic
expectations of the child, substance abuse,
depression, poverty, sickly or difficult child,
other life stresses
32Consequences of Maltreatment
- Physiological stress hormones, abnormal brain
wave patterns - Emotional rejection, anxiety, self-blame,
psychological pain - Social discipline problems at school, poor peer
relations - Eventually serious learning and adjustment
problems, depression, substance abuse, academic
failure, delinquency
33Preventing Child Maltreatment
- Research indicates that a trusting relationship
with another person is the most important factor
is preventing mothers with childhood histories of
abuse from repeating the cycle. - Parents Anonymous
34Skipped-Generation Families
- Surrogate parenting grandparents take custody
of their own grandchildren because the parent is
not functioning due to such factors as drug
abuse, mental illness, incarceration, adolescent
pregnancy, divorce. - Includes about 5.6 million children
35Childless Couples
- DINKs - double-income, no kids
- How many couples are voluntarily childless?
- 3-6 or 10-15
- Often has to do with career commitment
36Unintended Childlessness
- Career Women (Hewlett, 2002)
- 33 were childless at age 40
- 42 who worked in corporations were childless
- 49 of (6-figure) ultra-achievers were childless
- 25 of high achievers age 41-55 (31 of
ultra-achievers) would like to have a child - No high achiever had a child after age 39 and no
ultra-achiever after age 36