One Liners

1
One Liners
2

• HOW DO YOU GET HOLY WATER?
• You boil the hell out of it.

3

• WHAT DO FISH SAY WHEN THEY HIT A CONCRETE WALL?
• Dam.

4

• WHAT DO ESKIMOS GET FROM SITTING ON THE ICE?
• Polaroids.

5

• WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T WORK?
• A stick

6

• WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISN'T YOURS?
• Nacho cheese

7

• WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA'S HELPERS?
• Subordinate Clauses.

8

• WHAT DO YOU CALL 4 BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND?
• Quatro sinko.

9

• WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW?
• Spoiled milk

10

• WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH A
  VAMPIRE?
• Frostbite.

11

• WHAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND
  TWITCHES?
• A nervous wreck

12

• WHERE DO YOU FIND A DOG WITH NO LEGS?
• Right where you left him.

13

• WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROAST BEEF AND PEA
  SOUP?
• Anyone can roast beef

14

• WHAT KIND OF COFFEE WAS SERVED ON THE TITANIC?
• Sanka.

15

• WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HARLEY AND A
  HOOVER?
• The location of the Dirt Bag.

16

• WHY DOES A PILGRIMS PANTS ALWAYS FALL DOWN?
• Because they wear their belt buckles on their
  hat.

17

• WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BAD GOLFER AND A
  BAD SKYDIVER?
• A bad golfer goes whack, damn. A bad sky diver
  goes damn, whack.

18

• HOW DO YOU CATCH A UNIQUE RABBIT?
• Unique up on it.

19

• HOW DO YOU CATCH A TAME RABBIT
• Tame way

20

• WHAT DO YOU CALL SKYDIVING LAWYERS?
• Skeet.

21

• WHAT GOES CLOP, CLOP CLOP, BANG, BANG, CLOP,
  CLOP, CLOP.
• An Amish drive-by-shooting.

22

• 1 HOW DO YOU GET HOLY WATER?
• You boil the hell out of it.
• 2. WHAT DO FISH SAY WHEN THEY HIT A CONCRETE
  WALL?
• Dam.
• 3. WHAT DO ESKIMOS GET FROM SITTING ON THE ICE?
• Polaroids.
• 4. WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T
  WORK?
• A stick
• 5. WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISN'T YOURS?
• Nacho cheese
• 6. WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA'S HELPERS?
• Subordinate Clauses.
• 7. WHAT DO YOU CALL 4 BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND?
• Quatro sinko.
• 8. WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW?
• Spoiled milk
• 9. WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH
  A
• VAMPIRE?
• Frostbite.