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• There's no reason to become alarmed and we hope
  you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way,
  is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a
  plane?
• -- from the movie Airplane

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• Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of
  the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard.
  At no point in your rambling, incoherent response
  was there anything that could even be considered
  a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now
  dumber for having listened to it. I award you no
  points and may God have mercy on your soul!
• -- from the movie Billy Madison

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• It just so happens that your friend here is
  only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference
  between mostly dead and all dead.
• -- from the movie The Princess Bride

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• Daddy's a litigator. Those are the scariest
  kinds of lawyers. Even Lucy, our maid, is
  terrified of him. He's so good he gets paid five
  hundred dollars an hour just to fight with people
  but he fights with me for free 'cause I'm his
  daughter.
• -- from the movie Clueless

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• I took Gotham's white knight and brought him
  down to our level. It wasn't hard. Y'see,
  madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it
  takes is a little...push.
• -- from the movie The Dark Knight

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• "I'm sorry I ruined your lives and crammed eleven
  cookies into the VCR."
• -- from the movie Elf

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• Give up just quit. Because in this life, you
  can't win. You can try but in the end you're just
  gonna lose, big time, because the world is run by
  the Man.
• -- from the movie School of Rock

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• I shall call him Squishy and he shall be
  mine.
• -- from the movie Finding Nemo

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• First, your return to shore was not part of
  our negotiations nor our agreement so I must do
  nothing. And secondly, you must be a pirate for
  the pirate's code to apply and you're not. And
  thirdly, the code is more what you'd call
  guidelines than actual rules.
• -- from the movie Pirates of the Caribbean

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• My fellow nerds and I will retire to the
  nerdery with our calculators.
• -- from the movie Tommy Boy