ADOPTION

1
ADOPTION THE SCHOOLS

• When adoptive parents send their children to
  school, they want what all parents want.
• They want their children to be happy, successful,
  to make friends, to enjoy learning and most
  important, to feel comfortable in the big world
  represented by the classroom.

2
First Question most parents raise about adoption
and the school is To Tell or Not to Tell

• You want
• To communicate your childs needs to their
  teacher.
• Communication with your childs teacher about
  adoption issues that may come up in school.
• To help teachers understand more about adoption
  issues.
• You do not want
• Every problem that occurs to be viewed as
  adoption related.
• Concerns that sharing adoption can lead to
  labeling.
• Any information you share to be used in an
  embarrassing or negative way.

3

• So the question is not whether to tell or not
  tell, but how parents and educators will work
  together.

• They need a common understanding of the complex
  experience of adoption and how it impacts
  children and adolescents in school. So the
  question becomes how to talk to teachers about
  adoption.

language
peers
child
school
teacher
parent
4
Structures to talk to teachers about adoption.

• Just like telling your child one time about their
  adoption is not enough, telling teachers one time
  that your child was adopted is not enough either.
  
• First step is to establish a relationship with
  your childs teacher and your childs school.
• September is a good place to start. Becoming
  their ally and making a good connection first,
  before you start even talking about adoption and
  asking for things!
• Use positive adoption language handouts.
• Discuss developmentally appropriate adoption
  concepts.
• Learn how to talk about assignments that need to
  be more adoption sensitive.
• Have ideas about alternate assignments that meet
  curriculum goals.

5
Where to begin What to tell ?

• What to tell ?
• You will tell the teacher that your child was
  adopted. Guideline - what information about my
  child is crucial to share in order for the
  teacher to meet his current needs learning,
  behavioral, social?
• The childs story is his. It happened to him and
  it is his to tell. You also want to be careful
  not to share details that you have not shared
  with your child since you barely know who you are
  talking to.
• General adoption themes can be shared especially
  when they are related to the particular age and
  stage of development the teacher is dealing with.
  Adopted children may experience feelings of loss
  and grief, sensitivity to transitions, exclusions
  and rejections, or issues with identity, control
  or fantasy related to adoption.

6
Where to begin Parents do not need to give
details of childs adoption

• Parents do not need to give details of childs
  adoption.
• But you can tell teacher if a certain time of
  year is difficult for your child. For example,
  birthday or anniversary of placement may be when
  your kids have a hard time. If you know a
  pattern, share it with the teacher.
• By identifying a pattern for the teacher, there
  is a better chance that your childs difficult
  behavior will be understood. if your child is
  doing something unusual, he is less likely to be
  labeled as acting out and more likely to be
  helped.

7
Show the teachers that you are there to help, to
make it easier, to be a resource.

• Discuss assignments using the 3 step model
• Identify the purpose of the assignment.
• Discuss concerns about making the assignment more
  adoption sensitive.
• Offer alternatives that the teacher can use to
  achieve the purpose of the assignment.
• Another way to work with the school is to go to
  team meetings conferences with an advocate who
  understands the adoption issues.
• Get an evaluation by an adoption sensitive
  specialist. Parents can bring the Adoption
  Specialist or their evaluation to school IEP
  meetings. Balance the scales. The school will be
  more likely to listen to the therapist/advocate
  expert.
• Dr. Boris Gindis is doing very thorough
  evaluations with school recommendations for
  children who have been in orphanages. (See
  Resources.)
• The IAC Center can collaborate with school
  professionals and/or direct you to evaluators who
  are sensitive to differential diagnosis issues
  when adoption is a factor. School readiness,
  education planning and language, sensory
  development and transitional issues are all
  considered .

8
In Conclusion school is a place where positive
adoptive education can occur.

• Teacher Tips
• Hope is that school can present adoption as a
  legitimate and positive way to join a family
• Mention adoption in class, especially when
  discussing family life.
• Present assignments which require personal or
  family history with sensitivity and alternatives
• Use positively oriented books included for the
  classroom reading and in library.
• Positive Adoption Language, a general
  understanding of adoption and the age related
  adoption issues they will be dealing with.
• When a child whose family is touched by adoption
  sees pictures of non-traditional families on the
  walls of his classroom, she feel connected to the
  educational setting.
• When assignments are broadened purposefully to be
  inclusive and respectful of many diverse family
  models, the child can relax
• When parents add their expertise, their adoption
  savvy, their advocacy and their support, school
  education is enriched.
• When students understand the difference between
  respectful privacy and fearful secrecy and when
  they distinction is honored by adults, children
  feel safe secure

9
Where to Get More Information

• Other training sessions
• For more information see our website
  www.iaccenter.com/workshop.asp
• How to Talk to Children about Adoption Ages
  infancy to 6 - This workshop will be on Saturday
  October 8, 2005 from 10 a.m. to noon at the
  Center in Pennington.
• How to Talk to Children about Adoption  Ages 6
  to 12 - This workshop will be on Saturday October
  15, 2005 from 10 a.m. to noon at the Center in
  Pennington.
• International Adoption Workshop - This workshop
  will address younger and older adopted childrens
  issues. Jane Aronson, MD will be one of the
  speakers. This workshop will be on Saturday,
  April, 2005 from 830 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the
  Princeton Hyatt.
• Web sites
• Bgcenter Online School at www.bgcenterSchool.org
  Primary focus on older, internationally adopted
  children.
• A special section on the EMK Press site that is
  devoted to school resources. http//clicks.aweber
  .com/z/ct/?p481JjVyddyzkTKl4.5hKg
• New Diversity Webpage for teachers.
  http//www.geocities.com/chinaadopting/diversity.h
  tml
• Adoptive Families magazine website for some great
  FREE articles about Adoption and School.
  http//www.adoptivefamilies.com/clip.php
• Planning Ahead for National Adoption Month In
  Your Community  www.simpleasthat.com/ A 
  presentation showcasing the many different ways
  that people become family.