Habit 4

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Habit 4

• Think Win-Win

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Win-Lose The Totem Pole

• Win-Lose is an attitude toward life that says the
  pie of success is only so big and if you get a
  big piece there is less for me
• Win-Lose is competitive known as the totem pole
  syndrome
• I dont care how good I am as long as Im a
  notch higher than you on the totem pole

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Win-Lose The Totem Pole

• Win-Lose is full of pride
• Pride gets no pleasure out of having something,
  only out of having more of it than the next man
  - C.S. Lewis
• We have all been raised to be competitive from an
  early age
• Most of us start playing t-ball or soccer at the
  age of 4!!

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Win-Lose The Totem Pole

• A Win-Lose attitude wears many faces
• Using other people for your own purposes
• Trying to get ahead at the expense of another
• Spreading rumors about someone else (putting
  people down to make yourself feel better)
• Always getting your way without thinking about
  others
• Becoming jealous when someone close to you does
  something good or has something good happen to
  them

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Win-Lose The Totem Pole

• In the end Win-Lose will usually backfire, you
  may end up at the top of the totem pole, but you
  will be there alone without any friends
• Your winning has been at the expense of others
• The trouble with the rat race is that even if
  you win, youre still a rat. -Lily Tomlin

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Lose-Win The Doormat

• Lose-Win is the doormat syndrome
• You always want to be the nice guy
• You want everyone to be happy
• You want to be the peacemaker, it doesnt matter
  what happens to you as long as everyone else is
  happy

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Lose-Win The Doormat

• With a Lose-Win attitude youll find yourself
  setting low expectations and compromising your
  standards
• Giving in to peer-pressure is lose-win, the group
  wants to ditch school, but you dont. So you
  give in. What happens? You lose and they win

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Lose-Win The Doormat

• If you adopt lose-win as your attitude in life,
  then people will wipe their dirty feet on you
• Its okay to let people win sometimes, but you
  want to make sure to choose your battles wisely
• Make sure that you take a stand on the important
  things

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Lose-Lose The Downward Spiral

• Lose-Lose says, If Im going down, then your
  going down with me.
• Misery loves company
• War is a good example of Lose-Lose, both sides
  lose regardless of who wins
• Revenge is lose-lose, you think that you are
  winning, but you are really only hurting yourself

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Lose-Lose The Downward Spiral

• Lose-Lose can occur when someone becomes obsessed
  with someone else in a negative way
• You dont care what happens to you, you just want
  the other person to be miserable as well
• Boyfriend/Girlfriend People become too dependant
  on the other person and eventually this brings
  out the worst in both of them

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Win-Win The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

• Win-Win is a belief that everyone can win
• Its nice and tough at the same time I wont
  step on you, but at the same time, I wont be
  your doormat.
• You want others to succeed, but you realize that
  you need to succeed as well
• Win-Win is the belief that theres plenty of
  success to go around

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Win-Win The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

• Its not either you or me, its both of us
• There is enough food to go around, its an
  all-you-can-eat buffet
• Win-Win always creates more
• You recently got a promotion at your job, you
  make sure to give recognition to those that
  helped you get there

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Win-Win The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

• You are elected to an important office at school,
  instead of getting a big-head, you treat everyone
  the same
• Your best friend just got accepted at the college
  that you wanted to go to, although you are upset
  that you didnt get in, you are happy for your
  friend
• You want to go out to eat, your friend wants to
  watch a movie, you compromise and rent a movie
  and pick up something to eat

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How do you think Win-Win?

• Win the Private Victory first
• You have to work within yourself to gain
  self-confidence
• Personal security is the foundation for thinking
  Win-Win

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Avoid the Tumor Twins

• There are two habits that, like tumors, can
  slowly eat you away from the inside
• They are twins are their names are competing and
  comparing

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The Tumor Twins

• Competing- competition can be extremely helpful
• It drives us to improve, to reach and stretch
• Without it, we would never know how far we could
  push ourselves
• Competition is healthy when you compete against
  yourself, it is not when you are using it to try
  to be better than someone else

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The Tumor Twins

• Comparing- comparing yourself to others is bad
  news
• Everyone develops and succeeds at different
  times- socially, mentally, and physically
• Everyone is different, so why should you expect
  yourself to match up to everyone else?

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The Tumor Twins

• Building your life based on how you stack up
  compared to others is never good
• Most of the time in life, you can always find
  someone in life who is better at something than
  you are
• You dont have to look, act, dress, or even be
  like anyone else
• You are your own individual and that is they way
  you should act

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Think Win-Win

• Try to spend most of your time thinking Win-Win
• Start small and make an honest effort to try to
  change the way that you think
• It wont happen over night, but if you try,
  eventually you will succeed

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