Psychology of Human Relations and Adjustment

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Psychology of Human Relations and Adjustment

• DMACC, Summer, 2006
• Jim Wilwerding, M.Div., M.A., LMHC, CADC, NCC

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Personal Growth and Change

• Being your own best person
• Who Am I?
• How much of myself do I share with others?
• How much am I interested in other peoples
  stories?

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Life is a journey, not a destination
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The unexamined life is not worth
living--Socrates
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A Model of Personal Growth

• Common Characteristics of healthy, happy, more
  fully-functioning individuals
• An ability to accept oneself and others
• An efficient perception of reality
• Close, caring interpersonal relationships
• Autonomy and Independence
• A strong ethical sense
• Willingness to continue to grow as a person

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Feedback and Disclosure

• In order to understand ourselves more fully, we
  need feedback from other people
• In order to get effective feedback, we must allow
  other people to know us

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Self-Disclosure

• Revealing the inner-self
• The more I know about you and you know about me,
  the more effective our relationship can become
• Self-disclosure involves a set of skillsknowing
  what, to whom, when etc. is important

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Why Self-Disclose?

• Self-disclosure allows me to define myself rather
  than be defined by the other persons assumptions
• As I choose to self-disclose, I learn information
  and gain insights about myself
• As a step in relationship building,
  self-disclosure allows me to get acquainted with
  you and for us to build trust within our
  relationship
• As that trust grows, closeness and intimacy can
  develop

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Risks

• If I tell you who I am, you may not like who I
  am, and that is all that I have John Powell
• To share who I am, I am choosing to risk rejection

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Benefits

• However, disclosure builds trust with and by the
  other person
• Self-disclosure promotes mental healththe more I
  know and can share myself, the less likely I am
  to hold onto shame
• We can gain self-validation through our
  disclosure
• Self-disclosure can also allow us more social
  control and impression management

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The Johari Window

• Developed in 1969 by Joseph Luft (Jo) and Harry
  Ingram (hari)
• A model to explore the total you and to
  increase your openness and self knowledge.

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Loneliness

• Loneliness occurs when a person has fewer
  interpersonal relationships than desired or when
  the relationships are not as satisfying as
  desired.
• Loneliness is a feeling of longing and emptiness
  that is caused by a lack of emotional attachment
  or social ties.

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Loneliness

• Most prevalent among
• Teenagers
• Unmarried young adults
• The Divorced
• The Widowed
• Also related to societal emphasis on
  self-fulfillment, instability in relationships
  and commitment to others.

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Relationships

• Healthy relationships provide
• Emotional attachmentsknowledge that no matter
  what happens, there will be someone around to
  care for and help us.
• Sources of emotional attachments include
• Parents
• A best friend or significant other
• A confidant
• Inanimate objects (teddy bears, dolls, blankets)
• Belief systems

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Relationships

• Social Tiesa feeling of belongingthat we are
  part of a group and have an identity
• We find these ties first through our belonging to
  a family, clan, etc.
• Later, we choose social ties by joining other
  groups (i.e., Scouts, sports, clubs, etc.) and
  possibly through forming a new family

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Shyness

• The tendency to withdraw from people particularly
  unfamiliar people. This includes feelings,
  physical reactions and thoughts
• Consequences of shyness include
• Becoming self-conscious
• Difficulty becoming acquainted to new people
• Keeps one from experiencing new situations
• Prevents a person from expressing him/herself

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Perceptions

• PERCEPTION IS REALITY
• Perception is our own interpretation and
  organization of the information we have gathered
  from the situation
• Our perception of people affects our impressions,
  understanding and interaction with others

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Stereotyping and Prejudice

• Stereotypea preconceived set of beliefs about
  individuals or groups
• Prejudiceprejudging a person or group of people
  prior to having all known information.

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Inaccurate Social Perceptions

• Stereotyping
• First Impressions
• Categorizing
• Attribution Error

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Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

• When a persons expectations of an event make the
  outcome more likely to happen
• Much of how we operate is based upon the
  expectations we conveypeople will generally live
  up to or down to our expectations for them

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Expectations

• Positive or negative, our expectations generally
  become our reality through Confirmation Bias
• Confirmation BiasOur current thoughts or beliefs
  about ourselves get continuously reinforced. We
  tend to accept information that confirms our
  beliefs and reject information that disproves or
  goes against what we already believe to be true.

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Argue for your limitations and sure enough,
theyre yours--Richard Bach
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Imagehow others perceive me

• Impression Managementour conscious effort to
  present ourselves in socially desirable ways.
• Behavioral modelingmatching our behaviors to the
  persons with whom we are interacting
• Positive non-verbal cuessmile, direct eye
  contact, etc.
• Present favorable self-image
• Conform to situational norms
• Show appreciation of others and flatter them
• Be consistent
• Be creative

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Developing New Relationships

• Four steps to initiate new relationships
• Communicationmake contact, conversation that
  invites a response, etc.
• Exposing yourselflet yourself be seen and known
  by the other person
• Social Skillsremember that relationships involve
  a set of skills
• Classescommunication, human relations,
  assertiveness, etc. are skills that can assist
  you in making new relationships.

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Cultural Differences

• When I meet someone from another culture, I
  behave in the way that is natural to me, while
  the other behaves in the way that is natural to
  him or her. The only problem is that our
  natural ways to not coincide. --Raymonde
  Carroll