Holidays and Grief

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Holidays and Grief

• Handling Grief through the Holiday Season

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Presenters

• Dr. Gloria Horsley
• and
• Dr. Heidi Horsley

Hosts of Radio Show Healing the Grieving Heart
www.thegriefblog.com
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(No Transcript)
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Hospice Family Holiday Burnout

• Pressure to make this last holiday special
• Extra work as family members gather to say their
  last goodbyes
• Determination to put on a happy face
• Efforts to create the illusion of normalcy by
  keeping the family rituals

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Rituals
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• Putting up the tree
• Baking cookies
• Putting up the holiday lights
• Present buying and wrapping
• Attending parties
• Lighting the Menorah

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Caregiver Holiday Burnout
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• Working extra hours to respond to the needs of
  the you or your friends
• Over use of alcohol to relax
• Not taking care of your own rituals
• Feeling guilty about not being able to do it all
• Not taking the time to attend parties or social
  events
• Not getting exercise
• Not getting enough sleep

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Basic Strategies for avoiding burnout
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• Exercise
• Avoid caffeine in the evening
• Set limits on your work
• Ask others for help with Christmas rituals
• Give yourself the gift of self care

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Holidays and BereaveD friends Family
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• The holidays are a bitter sweet time
  for people who have lost a love one.  How your
  family or your friends celebrate depends greatly
  on three things

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• 1. The length of time since the loss
• 2. What the holidays meant to you and your
  family their loved one died
• 3. How you celebrated in the past

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THE FIRST YEAR

• Your family and friends may choose to stay close
  to home and make the best of a difficult
  situation
• Just getting through that first holiday is an
  accomplishment

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HOW CAN I HELP?

• Encourage your family and friends not to over do
  and to reach out to others for help
• Remind them that Christmas is only one day
• Let them know that anticipation of the holidays
  can be worse than the day itself
• Help them to hang on to the fact that feeling
  bad, and sad are normal emotions after a loss
• Remind them that they have had a physical as well
  as a mental blow

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THE second YEAR

• The second year is tough as the numbness and
  shock wears off family members must deal with the
  reality of life without their loved one
• This may be a year when your family and your
  friends make changes in how they spend the
  Holidays

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HOW CAN I HELP?

• Support your family and your friends as they make
  changes in their Holiday routine
• Taking a short vacation or visiting a relative
  could be a good distraction

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THE third YEAR

• You are interested in planning some holiday
  activities
• Grief becomes more compartmentalized
• There are moments when life seems worth living
  again

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THE fourth YEAR

• You are again considering hosting a holiday party
• You enjoy pictures of Christmases past that
  include your loved one.
• That special ornament is hung on the tree with a
  smile of hope

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• As with us, you, your family and friends will
  never forget our loved ones as they will always
  be in our hearts. The holidays are a time that
  our memories will continue to connect us with
  those who have made us who we are today.

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May you have a wonderful holiday season.