a Welcoming Parish

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a Welcoming Parish
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Welcome!Thank you for taking your time to be
here today!
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Introductions

• Please give us your name
• How long have you been in the parish
• Do you serve in any ministries? Which ones do
  you serve in?
• Are there any who would like this presentation
  translated into Spanish? We have a table and
  headsets prepared for you.

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 Why are we here today? To talk about how --

• To engage our parishioners more fully in our
  mission to welcome all who come
• To build faith connections for those who live in
  our parish boundaries
• To engage those already here who may have been
  missed or forgotten
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 How will we proceed?

• We will pray for Gods guidance and the welcoming
  fire of the Holy Spirit
• We will actively look and listen together
• We will go back to our homes to pray and reflect.
• Finally, we will come together again at another
  meeting to discern what, if any, actions to take
  to enhance our Welcome.
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A Hospitality Prayer

• Heavenly Father, endless Love and
• Mercy, thank you for the gifts you have
• blessed me with.
• May I be a blessing to the persons you bring to
  Church today and always.

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A Hospitality Prayer

• May this ministry bring you glory. And may
• the way I do it bring faith, joy and a smile to
• all that I come in contact with today.
• Holy Spirit, fill me with the fire of your love.
  This I ask, in Jesus Holy Name.
• Amen.

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Where Is Hospitality In Our Culture?

• Largely -- youre on your own, buddy!
• People are expected to pay for their own
  hospitality. (Examples Hotel, Restaurants,
  concerts, plays, movie theatres, Bunco Games,
  Bingo, Bake Sales.)
• Sometimes we pretend to be hospitable when we are
  selling something. Like Time Shares.

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What is Hospitality?

• In a lot of parishes, they think of hospitality
  as a smile at the door, being a good host or
  hostesshaving good food and nice table settings
  at meals. Kind of the Martha Stewart
  mentality.
• Thats all nice. But is there a deeper meaning
  to Hospitality? Lets find out!

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Back to the Beginning. What Does the Word Mean?

•       In the Bible, the original Greek word for
  "hospitality" is philo-xen-ia, which means "love
  of strangers."

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In the Good Old Bible Days

• Historically, hospitality to others was
• a personal responsibility.
• There were no hotels or inns.

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More Olden Days

• Traveling was usually done in groups. It was rare
  for folks to travel alone.
• The only way to find out about a hospitable place
  was word of mouth, maps or passed down
  memories.  (Remember the hobo in our culture
  used graffiti to communicate welcoming
  households.)

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The Old Days

• You were kind to strangers in the hopes that when
  you passed through, they would be kind to you.
• And dont forget, the desert can be an
  unforgiving place.

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Famous Hosts In the Bible

• Abraham and Sarah who unknowingly welcomed an
  Angel into their home
• The Good Samaritan who welcomed the stranger and
  cared for their wounds and welfare
• The Father in the parable of the Prodigal Son who
  welcomed home his son who had done much wrong

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How Did Jesus Demonstrate Hospitality?

• Eating and drinking with tax collectors and
  sinners.
• Seeking out the company of the simple and poor,
  such as the fishermen who became His disciples
• Welcoming the unwanted and marginalized. Lepers.
  The ill. Children. Women.
• Dont forget, he fed 5000 people who invited
  themselves to lunch.
• The Miracle at Cana providing wine where there
  was none.

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How Did People Find Out About Jesus?

• Word of mouth
• Reputation
• Visibility Jesus was the eye in the center of a
  storm of people wherever he went

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What did Jesus say about those who were not
hospitable?

• If any place does not welcome you, as you walk
  away shake the dust off your feet as a sign to
  them. Mk612
• (Ouch! Is there anyone who has shaken the dust
  off their feet after coming to our parish?)

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Hospitality -- "love of strangers."  Who are
these Strangers? Its important to understand

• Who is coming to our church?
• Why are they here?  
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Is this why theyre here?
We hope that ---

• They found us on the Internet
• They heard we are a friendly community
• They sense purpose or vision in the parish
• Theyve come to our special events or adult
  education and want more
• Their children and teens are involved here

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 Often they are here because of

• A crisis in their lives death, illness
• The influence of family/friends
• A sense of Gods presence
• They heard there was good Liturgy Preaching
• They want the Eucharist, the real presence of
  Christ
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 Who is coming to Mass?

• People in the Pews
• 52 PreVatican II (born before 1946)
• 38 Baby Boomers (born before 1960)
• 20 Post Vatican II (born after 1960)
• Source CARACenter for Applied Research in the
  Apostlate at Georgetown University
  http//cara.georgetown.edu/
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 Who is coming to Mass?

• Inactive Catholics
• In 1963, 71 of Active Catholics went to Mass
  each Sunday. (CARA 2007)
• Today, 36 of Active Catholics attend.
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 Who is coming to Mass?

• Alienated Catholics
• 31 of Americans were raised Catholics
• Today, only 24 consider themselves Catholic
• About 10 of all Americans are former Catholics
• 
  Source CARA
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 Who is coming to Mass?

• Unchurched Catholics
• 6.6 said they were baptized Catholic and left
  the Catholic Church before reaching the age of 7
• 7 said they were baptized Catholic and left the
  Catholic Church between the ages of 8 and 12
• 13.6 who left at age 12 and younger
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  Source CARA
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 The Reality Is.

• At any Mass, you have a large chance that a
  number of those arriving are inactive or
  unchurched. 
• They dont know where to go, who to go with, or
  what to do.
• They are Our Lords Lost Sheep.
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What the Lost Sheep Want

• To connect.
• Make friends.
• Matter to someone.
• Through connections, know and grow their faith in
  Jesus Christ.
• Find a place to act on their discipleship. Get
  involved.

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 How The Lost Sheep Feel

• Stressed or angry
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• Drifting or shocked
• Hurt or on the edge
• Curious, seeking Spiritual Renewal
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WHAT YOU SEE

• Your friendly Hello may be received warmly or
  with fear.
• You may get someones life story in two minutes
  right before Mass starts.
• Folks may breeze past you at 90 miles an hour.
• They may hang in the back, ready to escape out
  the back door.

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So, these new folks can be tough to deal With.
Why be hospitable?

•    

The Mission is important! People need the
Gospel People have a choice. They
will choose other Churches if we are not our
best when they visit.  
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To Be At Our Best, Lets Look at a Difference in
Churches

• Cold unfriendly Churches vs.
• Warm and friendly Churches

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Cold Unfriendly Churches

• Attitude of the doorkeepers intimidating
• Folks that walk in are ignored
• List of rules is right out front youre here on
  our terms

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Cold Unfriendly Churches

• Dress code visitors are expected to conform to
  an unknown standard
• No one to show you where to sit -- youre on your
  own
• Clumps of folks talking, you make eye contact and
  get the message go away. Make your own
  friends

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Warm and Friendly Parishes

• They can find you on the web, in the phone book,
  in newspaper advertisements.
• Your signage is friendly. There are maps telling
  folks where to go and where things are.
• On move in day or soon after, folks find a
  hanger flyer on their front door inviting them to
  Mass with a plate of home made cookies from a
  neighbor who is a parishioner too.

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Warm Friendly Parishes

• Have trained Ministers of Hospitality with name
  tags at all masses.
• Their Attitude is Inviting Attractive
• Their smile says, How can I serve you?
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• They take time for others -- make them feel like
  You belong here.

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What Kind of Training Should Greeters Have? They
Must Learn to Think like Newcomers

• Some have confidence in coming to a new Church.
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• For many it is frightening and uncomfortable to
  walk through the doors of a new Church.

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Think like Newcomers

• Some carry all kinds of feelings
• Guilt, fear, shame, unworthiness, mistrust, pain,
  etc.
• A sense that they must be crazy for coming to
  Church
• A sense that they are finally home.
•  

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How Do We Respond?

• To overcome those negative feelings we must make
  them feel relaxed, comfortable, reassured,
  accepted, cared for, and at home.

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How We Make Them Feel

• People will forget what you said, people will
  forget what you did, but people will never forget
  how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

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Setting the Physical Environment

• Is your parish clean? Are your bathrooms clean?
• Is there a welcome desk with a minister who is
  there before or after Mass with information?
• Is there a guest book for visitors to sign? (Ask
  for newcomers to the area to leave their name and
  number. Have a volunteer follow up!)

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Children and Babies

• Is there a changing table in the womens room?
• Is there a nursery for the tiny ones?
• Is there a childrens liturgy during mass which
  parents/children can join?
• Are the children encouraged after their 1st Holy
  Communion to participate in the liturgy eg. The
  offertory procession?

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Special Needs

• Is there a large print version of the hymn
• book/missalette/newsletter available or an
  audio version of the newsletter?
• Is there disabled access ramps etc and someone
  to assist those in need of help
• Can the homebound hear your readings and homilies
  online?

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Special Needs Parishioners

• Are there clearly marked spaces in your parking
  lot for the disabled?
• Are there disabled toilet facilities available?
• Is there a loop induction system provided in the
  church for the hard of hearing?
• Is there provision for liturgy to be signed for
  the deaf?

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PART OF THE ENVIRONMENT -THE OLD HANDS GO IN

• When they arrive at the church door for Mass what
  happens?
• Who do they meet?
• Who do they speak to?
• Do they usually proceed to the same seat?
• Do they smile/say hello to the people around
  them?
• What happens if a stranger sits in their
  regular seat or pews?

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PART OF THE ENVIRONMENT THE OLD HANDS GO OUT

• Is social time encouraged after Mass?
• (Are there free coffee and donuts and a place to
  sit down and meet someone new? )
• After Mass do they meet for coffee?
• Do they invite strangers to join them?
• Do they stop for a chat with a newcomer on their
  way out of the church?

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Who Generally Interacts With Newcomers?

• Parking Attendants
• Greeters or Doorkeepers
• Ushers
• Ministers Who Are Serving
• Priests
• Folks selling/giving things away at tables
• Friendly parishioners

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Welcoming Identity in Old Days

• Hospitality ministers used to be deacons, priests
  or religious.
• They wore habits, robes, vestments. That made
  them easy to spot.

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Today Establishing the Identity of Lay
Hospitality Ministers

• For Parking Attendants Bright vests and big
  smiles.
• For Greeters Custom badges, nice Sunday clothes
• For Ushers Custom badges, consider the donation
  of Suit Jackets with an emblem of the Parish
• For Table Hosts Ministry Badges

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Training Ministers of Welcome

• Be aware of differing cultures and ways of doing
  things. Invite your cultural leaders to talk
  about the best way to approach newcomers
• Be able to say hello, welcome, thank you, were
  glad to have you in all the major languages of
  your parish

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Training Ministers of Welcome

• Get together for a Practicum (scripted role-play
  in Church) where they meet people who are scared,
  lonely, lost.
• Invite kids from the Youth group and Seniors
  group to play out different scenarios.

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What to Practice

• 1.      If you dont recognize someone as they
  approach about 10 feet away say hello/Good
  Morning/eveningWelcome to (church name).
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• 2.      Once they are closer say Im (your
  name). I dont recall meeting you before?
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• 3.      WARNING! Never ask Are you new?
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1 Meltdown

• 1.      If they say, Yes, Ive been here
  before or Yes,
• Ive been here for 40 years, is about time
•  Do not apologize for not recalling (agree with
• them).
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• Recovery Well I feel silly, but Im glad to
• Finally meet you. Or Well, Im relatively new
• To the Parish, but its good to finally meet
  you.
•  Then say, Please tell me your name.
•  
• Conclude Enjoy the Mass.

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Engaging Newcomers

• 1.      If they say, No, this is my first time.
•  
• Say, Then welcome. It is great to have you with
  us.
• Please tell me your name. Im (your name.)
•  Do you Live in the Neighborhood? etc
•  Then engage them in conversation, but not beyond
  their level of comfort (if time permits).
•  Then say, Here is some information about our
  Church. And give them the brochure, A guide for
  newcomers to Mass.
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Dont Have the Answers?

• Ask if they have any questions. Typical
  Question Where can I purchase candles? (Do not
  be defensive, and do not argue with them If you
  do not know the answer, write down their name and
  phone number and offer to have someone call them
  with the answer to their question. If you see
  someone who has the information, introduce them.
• Be sure to point out the information booth for
  after Mass.  Conclude Enjoy the Mass.
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The Script (after Mass)

• Dont judge people if they leave Mass early
  (maybe ill, or late for work, etc.) See you
  next week
•  Introduce Visitors to Priests (Name home town/
• State).
•  Direct People to Gatherings after Mass (i.e.
  breakfast in parish hall).
•  Invite to them to Newcomers Session/Night.
•  Invite them back next week.
•  If possible, help keep the Parish Environment
  Neat and Clean

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Hospitality Ministers Agree

• Arrive early
• Coordinators 30 minutes before Mass
• Everyone else 20 minutes before Mass
• Check-in with Coordinator if you have one
• Check your appearance
•  Dress appropriately without excessive
  fragrance -- Hair, shirt, teeth, mouth wash, etc.
• Get focused pray together before beginning your
  assignments ( You can try the prayer at beginning
  of this slide show)

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Specific Usher Training

• Be aware of any safety concerns (on stairs,
  aisles, doorways, emergency exits etc)
• Teach yourselves NOT to huddle in a pack and
  talk.
• Talk about ways to help create an atmosphere of
  quiet. Some folks still like to pray before
  Mass.

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Ushers Training

• When you help visitors find a seat
• Reassure them they are free to seat anywhere they
  choose.
• Yet, gently remind the people about seating
  together up front We have plenty of seating up
  front.
• If almost full, help visitors find available
  seat patrol aisles and hold up fingers
  (remember, you are a servant, not a traffic cop!)
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More Training for Ushers

• First aid and CPR
• Automated DFB
• Where are the air conditioning, lights, etc.
• Know the basics of how to turn the sound on and
  off in an emergency
• Emergency response practice earthquake, fire,
  angry attendee, fight, theft in progress

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Welcoming the New Parishioner

• Pastor sends and welcome letter and/or makes a
  personal phone call
• Recognizes visitors or new registrants at Mass
• Assign a sponsoring family to call and/or visit
  a new family.

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Welcoming the New Parishioner

• Provide a newcomers basket with such items as
  parish note cards, recipe book, calendar,
  directory, and home baked goods
• Provide a newcomers packet of information on
  the parish as well as community resources
• Have a monthly/quarterly newcomers reception or
  dinner

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Welcoming the New Parishioner

• Have a welcome desk before and after Mass with
  information on volunteer opportunities, programs,
  calendar and new ministries
• Display a Book of Welcome in a prominent place
  for visitors and newcomers to sign.

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Welcoming the New Parishioner

• Provide a list of parishioner owned businesses or
  services
• Make it a point to extend a personal invitation
  by letter followed by a phone call to parish
  activities for the first six months
• Invite newcomers to stand and all pray a prayer
  of welcome at Mass.

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Welcoming the New Parishioner

• Recognize new members in the bulletin, at mass,
  or with pictures on the bulletin board.
• Have special ministers with a regular connection
  to the homebound
• Remember special occasions in the bulletin or
  your newsletters

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Ongoing Hospitality

• Establish a program of bereavement ministry to
  families
• Provide trained ministers for outreach to the
  sick and to those in nursing homes
• Sponsor parish receptions to celebrate special
  events such as First Communion, Confirmation,
  RCIA, etc.

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Ongoing Hospitality

• Provide outreach to those who cannot drive
• Provide outreach to those with disabilities at
  Mass and special events
• Provide nursery and child care at all adult events

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Ongoing Hospitality

• Show appreciation through special events, phone
  calls and mailings
• Celebrate special days/significant moments in the
  year Mothers/Fathers Day, Grandparents Day
  children starting school, exam time
• Create an active young adults group, 21 to 35

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Ongoing Hospitality

• Create welcome liturgies inviting back all
  those baptised in the last year, celebration of
  love for couples married in your parish, etc.
• Look out for newcomers moving into the area.
  Provide parishioners with leave behind
  materials for them
• Offer house blessings for new parishioners

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Remember

• Hospitality is the face of Christ that Visitors
  see and hear.
• You set the tone. Your actions invite or push
  away.
• Your conversations between one another before,
  after and during Mass can lift the Church and its
  members. Be affirming of each other and your
  community.

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Thanks go to

• Special thanks go to the Parish Stewardship
  Network meeting in November at St. Marks for
  their input and suggestions.
• Some parts of this presentation were originally
  written and given at the OSV conference, 2008
  Anaheim California. Thanks go to Fr. Eduardo
  Montemayor, SOLT, Helen Orsak, St. Peter Prince
  Of the Apostles, Lorene Duquin, Diocese of
  Buffalo, NY
• Any mistakes in this presentation are wholly my
  own. If you have any questions about this
  presentation, please contact me at
• Karen Willson
• Stewardship Coordinator
• Mission San Luis Rey Parish
• 760-757-3250 X 325 stewards_at_sanluisreyparish.org

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PLANNING AND ACTION

• Planning
• Discernment
• Action
• Saturday, December 6th at 10am in the Serra
  Center.