Conflict Management Toolkit

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Conflict Management Toolkit
University of Mary Washington
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Table of Contents

• Determining the current level of conflict level
  in my work life (self-assessment)
• Determining my conflict style (self assessment)
• Resolving a conflict with one other person
• Resolving a group conflict.
• Supervisors role in resolving employee conflict
• The art of disciplining employees (for
  supervisors)
• The role of HR in conflict resolution
• Listing of informal and formal conflict
  resolution processes
• Conflict Management Reference list
• Supervisor Network Share your wealth of
  experience

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Determining the level of conflict in my life

• Conflict Management Toolkit
• Part I

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Determining the source of conflict

• At times you may sense conflict at work, but not
  know exactly why.
• The conflict self-assessment will help you to
  pinpoint the specific area in which you are
  experiencing conflict so that you can begin to
  resolve it. The areas addressed are supervisor,
  self, peers, employees, and productivity.

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What is my conflict style?

• Conflict Management Toolkit
• Part II

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Conflict Style

• Not only is it important to know what
  relationship or situation is causing conflict in
  our life, but it is also important to look at how
  we normally resolve conflict (our natural
  inclination).
• We must then decide whether we are satisfied with
  our current approach or if we would like to
  change it in some way to improve our
  effectiveness at conflict resolution.

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Style Explanation
As you discovered through the conflict resolution
assessment, our natural inclinations usually
place us into one of these styles.

• Avoiding
• Accommodating
• Compromising
• Competing
• Collaborating

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Style Explanation

• Avoiding Style (-,-)
• If I ignore the problem, it will go away
• If I confront the problem, I may hurt someones
  feelings
• Why bother it wont change anything
• Accommodating (-,)
• Its easier to just give in and give them what
  they want
• You will be better liked if you just agree
• By letting the other person win this time, you
  will win next time you have to pick your
  battles.

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Style Explanation

• Compromising Style (-,-)
• Its only fair because then neither of us get
  what we want.
• Both parties are on an even playing field
• We can choose to give up something we really
  dont need, thereby winning.
• Competing Style (,-)
• Im right and youre wrong
• There is only one solution
• Collaborating (,)
• We can find a solution that works for both of us.
• By asking the other persons perspective, I can
  understand them.
• Once we find a common ground, we can work from
  there.

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Conflict Style

• If you find yourself adopting a conflict
  style that youre not happy about
• Analyze why you have adopted that style.
• Develop some simple action steps that will help
  you break your habit.
• Read on for helpful tips that will guide you
  through various conflict situations.

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One-to-one Conflict

• Conflict Management Toolkit
• Part VI

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If you want to constructively resolve a conflict
with another person

• FIRST, get into the right frame of mind for a
  positive discussion, always remembering to treat
  the other person with respect
• SECOND, agree on the best time and place for both
  of you to discuss the conflict with each other.
• THIRD, Set some ground rules.
• FOURTH, have a discussion.

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Step 1

• Adopt the right frame of mind

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The Approach
When you are ready to approach the other person
remember to

• Go in with the right attitude
• Send positive non-verbal signals
• Focus on the real issues
• Pay attention to communication style

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Your Attitude

• Take With You
• A willingness to work at this
• An understanding that perception is reality
  both for you and those around you.
• A willingness to learn from the situation
• A willingness to see and acknowledge your own
  contribution to the problem.

• Leave Behind
• Your desire to win, punish, or control
• Your desire that everything be fair
• Your assumption that it wont work
• Your tendency to think in black and white,
  right or wrong
• Your determination to be right.

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Be aware of your nonverbal signals
Others impression of you is based on

• 7 of the words used
• 38 on voice quality and
• 55 on nonverbal communication

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Focus on underlying Issues

• What happened?
• Difference in expectations
• What did I expect to happen? What actually
  happened? Who did what?
• Intention inventory (Who meant what?)
• Feelings
• Dont ignore or fail to acknowledge
• Feelings make relationships enjoyable and
  difficult conversations difficult (cant have one
  without the other!)
• Identity
• Must face ourselves as well as other person
• Am I competent? Am I a good person? Am I worthy
  of love?

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Communication Tips

• Avoid you statements
• Focus on behavior, not employee
• Focus on actions, not intent
• Be descriptive and specific (bring data)
• Practice active listening skills
• Ask open and closed questions to clarify points

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Step 2

• Consider time factors

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Be Timely talk to the other person while the
issues are still current
Anger and negative feelings tend to fester if not
dealt with quickly!!
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Consider the other persons time needs

• Dont interrupt the other persons schedule and
  state that you need to talk
• Agree on a time to meet with the other person and
  inform him/her of the topic.
• Give him/her time to prepare mentally.

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Step 3

• Set some ground rules!

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3 Golden Rules

• Everyone tells it like they see it.
• Get everything on the table.
• Focus on the future.

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Sample Rules for discussion
In addition to general rules, it is helpful to
agree on how you will talk with each other

• No interruptions
• No yelling
• Time limit on certain topics of discussion
• Words to avoid
• Agreement on what to do if you cant agree ahead
  of time

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Step 4

• The Actual Discussion

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The Actual Conversation

• Define the conflict.
• Communicate understanding.
• Explore alternative solutions.
• Agree on most workable solution.
• Evaluate after time.

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Define the Conflict

• Describe the problem in clear, concrete terms.
  Be specific (use I not you)
• Focus on behaviors or problems, not people
• Talk about the impact on you
• Define the conflict as a problem to solve
  together, not a battle to be won

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2. Communicate Understanding

• Listen to really understand the other persons
  feelings, needs, Reflect back.
• Explain how you see the problem after you have
  heard them.
• Identify your contribution to the situation.
• Describe feelings (not judgments or accusations)
• Talk about identity issues.

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3. Explore alternative solutions

• - Take turns offering alternative solutions.
  List them all.
• Be nonjudgmental of others ideas.
• Examine the consequence of each solution.
• Think and talk positively.

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4. Agree on most workable solution

• - Agree on a solution you both understand and can
  live with.
• Be committed to resolving the conflict

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5. Evaluate after time
Get together after some time and see
how the new arrangement is working for both
parties
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Tips in difficult Situations

• Pacing one approximates the behavior of the
  other person to subconsciously build rapport.
• Mental Aikido mentally moving away from the
  focal point of the adversarys attack. Make a
  non-linear response to the adversarys words.
  Sharks expect you to react.
• Patterned interruption involves varying your
  usual response. You have the capacity to
  interrupt the usual destructive pattern by doing
  something completely different or unexpected.

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Resolving Group Conflict

• Workforce Development Toolkit
• Part VII

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Meeting Conflict

• 1. If you sense a spoken or unspoken
  conflict in a meeting over an issue, address it.
• There seems to be some disagreement over
  this issue. Can we take a few minutes to clarify
  the issue.
• 2. Clarify the conflict.
• O.K. so there seems to be some
  disagreement over.
• Decide if there is time to deal with it today or
  if another meeting needs to be set up to give it
  full attention.
• Since this seems to be quite an
  important issue and we dont have much time
  today. Lets agree to meet again to discuss it
  further. Can we meet on.
• 4. If another meeting is necessary, assign
  responsibility for gathering more information on
  the subject to staff.
• Sue, can you please research
  information on. And Diane can you please check
  on that State mandate.
• Insist employees let it go until the next
  meeting.
• We have a lot of other issues to
  discuss today so lets free our minds of this
  issue until the set meeting and move on.

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Group Resolution

• Restate the issue to ensure clarity.
• Have each group member, share information
  gathered and give his/her opinion.
• Make sure everything is put on the table (no
  unresolved feelings popping up later)
• Brainstorm alternatives
• Agree on best solution using team decision-making
  steps (see reference list at end)
• Develop action steps.
• Agree on follow-up session.

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Supervisors role in resolving conflict

• Conflict Management Toolkit
• Part IV

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Your Role as a Supervisor
Involves

• Looking for ways to reduce and prevent conflict
  in your work area
• Handling conflict as a third party
• Handling grievances as they come to you

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You can reduce conflict by

• Being a good leader
• Being aware of your management style
• Training yourself and your staff on conflict
  resolution
• Looking out for signs

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Be a Good Leader

• Set a good example
• Communicate clear standards
• Set ground rules
• Provide clear rationale for decisions
• Ensure employees have resources and training to
  do their jobs
• Get to know your employees

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Be a Good Leader

• Conduct performance counseling
• Assist employees who have performance problems
• Address misconduct promptly
• Get advice from HR when you have questions or
  concerns prior to the need to pursue disciplinary
  actions
• Treat employees fairly and equitably, applying
  rules consistently

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Be aware of your own behavior

• Allowing aggressive or inappropriate conduct
  without taking action can foster a hostile or
  intimidating work environment.
• Decision-making without employee input or
  participation can lead to frustrated employees
  who dont feel valued as anything but worker
  bees.
• Your staff looks to you to assist in resolving
  conflicts. You are better equipped to resolve
  conflicts if both you and your staff have had
  conflict resolution training.
• If you are inconsistent or unpredictable, your
  employees will be unsure of your expectations and
  become frustrated.
• Engaging in relationships with your employees
  that are personal or too informal may lead to
  misunderstandings, as well as other employees
  feeling alienated.

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Lookout for Signs of discontentment

• A usually outgoing, communicative employee
  becomes withdrawn and quiet.
• An employee frequently comes in late for work.
• An employee is more argumentative and erratic
  than usual.
• An employee suddenly takes no interest in
  maintaining his or her personal appearance or
  hygiene.
• An employee makes comments about violent means of
  dealing with, or coping with, a particular
  situation.
• An employee talks about having nothing to lose
  or not caring about anything anymore.

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Handling conflict as a third party
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Handling Employee Conflicts

• Situation 1 An employee complains to you about
  another employee
• Situation 2 You observe a conflict situation
• Situation 3 An employee would like to file a
  formal grievance

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If an employee comes to you with a possible
grievance

• Take the complaint seriously
• Set a professional tone for the interview put
  the complainant at ease
• Provide assurance of confidentiality
  non-retaliation
• Ask for but do not require- a written statement.
• Gather facts, do not make judgments.
• Listen and get answers to who, what, when,
  where, why, how.
• Communicate your concern and describe the
  available options.

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Handling a formal complaint cont

• Ask how the complainant would like to proceed.
• Tell the complainant that prompt action will be
  taken.
• Ask about the person (s) need for immediate
  assistance.
• Refer them to UMWs grievance policy
• Set a time for a follow-up meeting and/or refer
  the person to the HR office
• Document and contact HR.

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The art of disciplining employees
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Proactive Steps to Disciplining employees(Smart
Discipline)

• Make sure you know UMWs discipline policy.
• Share the policy and potential consequences with
  your employees.
• Treat all employees consistently and fairly.
• Before taking any action, be sure of the facts.

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UMWDisciplinePolicy
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ProgressiveDiscipline

• Progressive Discipline means you move through
  increasingly stronger counseling or training in
  an attempt at causing or convincing the employee
  to bring his/her performance to an acceptable
  level

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Key Ingredients in Progressive Discipline

• Due notice
• A chance to improve, and
• A review process

The process should be FULL, FAIR, PROMPT, and
CONDUCTED IN GOOD FAITH.
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Advantages of Progressive Discipline

• Protects you against accusations of firing a
  person without due process.
• Chance to turn the employee around into a well
  functioning employee.
• Chance to improve policies and practices
• Demonstrates to fellow employees that you are
  fair and willing to give employees a chance.

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Steps in Progressive Discipline
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1. How to act when you become aware of a
disciplinary problem

• Personal Observation
• If you observed the negative behavior
  personally, you can proceed to the slide labeled
  counseling. (click here)
• Complaint from a 3rd party
• If a 3rd party makes you aware of the negative
  behavior, you must make sure you conduct
  thorough and fair fact finding steps. (see next
  slide).

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2. Fact Finding

• Talk to the accused using the counseling
  guidelines on next slide.
• If the employee denies the behavior or recounts a
  different scenario, explain to him/her that
  further fact finding is necessary.
• Talk to only those directly involved in the
  situation in a confidential manner.
• Document all discussions with related parties.
• Review all relevant documents, pictures or
  diagrams to substantiate the fact finding.

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3. Counseling the Employee

• Assure employee that only those who need to know
  will be informed.
• Share concrete examples with the employee of the
  negative behavior
• State the effects of this negative behavior.
• Describe the behavior you would like to see (what
  changes must occur).
• Give the employee a chance to explain or comment.
• Agree together on a plan of action.
• State the consequences if this change of behavior
  does not occur

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Additional Tips about Counseling

• Utilize the Virginia Employee Assistance Program
  (VEAP) whenever you see it as appropriate (This
  should be offered in addition to disciplinary
  action, not as a substitute).
• Documentation of counseling should be retained in
  supervisors files, not in employees personnel
  file.
• Dont soften the blow, the employee must
  understand the severity of his/her actions.

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4. Formal Discipline

• Before taking any formal disciplinary action,
  consult with your supervisor.
• Reference the Code of Conduct to match severity
  of discipline with negative conduct.
• Issue a written notice when counseling did not
  work or when the conduct was severe enough to
  warrant immediate discipline.
• ALWAYS place a warning about the consequences of
  failure to improve performance in writing before
  implementing any discipline measures such as
  suspension, dismissal.

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4. Formal Discipline Continued

• If the employees performance remains poor and
  you feel you have provided enough counseling and
  given enough warning, follow through on the
  threatened discipline.
• ALWAYS make sure of what you are doing and that
  your final decision is fair.
• Listen to employee and review the evidence one
  more time from the employees point of view.
• Finalize the discipline by following your
  policies.
• Consult HR as to the actual method of
  implementing the discipline.

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5. Termination

• NEVER TERMINATE WITHOUT CONSULTING HR
• LOGISTICS
• Before conducting a termination, you need to
• Schedule (when, how long)
• Location
• Extra Support (HR, EAP)
• Prepare (physical psychological)
• Review separation package
• Think about employees state of mind and
  potential reaction

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5. Termination Cont.

• OBJECTIVES
• Deliver the message quickly, respectfully,
  professionally
• Ensure individual understands that employment if
  terminated immediately or in the near future
• Deliver the separation package
• Strongly encourage employees to utilize VEC Job
  Search Center
• Provide structure for the next 24 hours
• Ensure to collect agency property before employee
  leaves for the day.

Click here for more information
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Key Points in Smart Discipline

• Always follow your written policies and past
  practices in similar situations
• Lack of consistency will cause a judge to assume
  you are discriminating against the employee in
  some way.
• Remember that other employees will be watching
  you to see if you are fair.
• Always listen to employees and give them a chance
  to improve

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Top Ways to Get Sued

• Ignore the union salter
• Discharge the disabled worker (without
  accommodation)
• Misclassifying a non-exempt employee as exempt
  and not paying overtime.
• Allowing managers and supervisors to use
  offensive words as a joke.
• Failure to stop sexual harassment.
• Punishing the victim (intentionally or
  unintentionally)
• Letting managers go postal when acting on
  behalf of employer.

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In a disciplinary situationnot taking action
is a decision!
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The Role of the Office of Human Resources
in Conflict Resolution
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The Role of HR

• If you are in a conflict situation and dont know
  how to deal with it, the Office of HR can
• Provide you with guidance and tools to approach
  the conflict situation.
• Direct you through the appropriate chain of
  command.
• Present formal and informal options available to
  you.
• Coordinate mediation, facilitation, or counseling
  sessions for you.
• .
• .

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Things that will help us to help you
HR will try to help you no matter what your
situation, but we can best assist you if you
come to us

• At the onset of the conflict
• With clear examples or facts and
• With your ideas of what you would like changed in
  your situation.

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Consult HR as a proactive rather than reactive
measure
A single injury is much easier to fix when
compared to multiple wounds!
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Informal and Formal Conflict Resolution Processes
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Informal Processes

• Open Door
• - Present concern to any available level of
  management
• Make an appointment
• Be aware of the supervisory chain of command
• Internal Mediation
• - If the conflict issue involves only
  work- related situations, your supervisor or a
  higher level manager can try to assist the two
  conflicting parties in reaching a solution.
• Mediation
• Voluntary Process
• Neutral mediators assist discussion
• Parties working out own solutions
• Call HR office or EDR for more information

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Formal Processes

• The Grievance Process
• See training materials
• See link to actual policy

http//www.edr.state.va.us/grievance.htm
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Reference List

• UMWs Conflict Management Training course for
  Supervisors
• UMWs Conflict Resolution course with video
• Getting to Resolution Turning Conflict into
  Collaboration. David Levine (book)
• The Book of Agreement 10 Essentials for getting
  the results you want. David Levine (Book)

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Supervisor Network

• As a supervisor, you have probably dealt with
  a lot of conflict situations. If you have some
  good advice for your colleagues or would like to
  ask for advice from other colleagues, please send
  your advice or question to

kgoodfri_at_umw.edu
Responses and questions will be posted As soon as
they arrive.
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Other Available toolkits

• Workforce Development for managers and
  Supervisors (helps with assessing staffing,
  training, and budgetary needs)
• Hiring Toolkit (everything you need to know about
  recruiting a new employee and bringing them on
  board)
• S drive Fac-Staf/Recruitment