The “Big Divorce Talk”: How to Tell Your Children About It

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The Big Divorce Talk How to Tell Your Children
About It
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More often than not, divorce isnt just about the
legal separation of two people who vowed to love
and cherish each other for the rest of their
lives. Its a decision that also breaks a family
apart.
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Sadly, children, especially young ones, usually
find themselves caught in a whirlwind of custody
battles, child support agreements, divorce
mediation services by professionals and palpable
animosity between their parents.
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Divorce is a perplexing and jarring process for
kids. But as parents,strive to soften the blow by
following these reminders
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Even if you want to bite each others head off,
call for a truce just long enough to sit down
with your children and talk to them about the
decision youve made. This may be one of the last
things you do as a couple.
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Plan how youll break the news to your children,
and prepare the words youll use to explain the
situation. During the talk, be cordial to each
other. Your presence together as their parents
will somehow make them feel that even though both
of you are going your separate ways, both of you
will always be there for them no matter what.
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If your children ask why youre getting a
divorce, dont explain in detail. Save it for
your experienced divorce lawyers in New Jersey.
Your children are young and they will not
understand the nuances of your reasons.
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For now, a safe, general answer will do. Just
make sure you emphasize that the decision to get
a divorce isnt their fault. Assure your children
that you lovethem and will continue to love them.
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Assure them that its okay to feel blue. Make
your children feel that you understand what
theyre going through. Tell them it is part of
the changes thats going on and that more than
likely some other changes happen in your lives as
a family. But, always assure them that soon
things will feel better again.
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After the big talk, arrange short, little talks
with your children in the following days. Ask
them how theyre doing and feeling about the
situation. Keep tabs on how theyre handling the
situation. Observe their attitude and their
moods.
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Some children dont bounce back as quickly as
others. So, repeatedly assure your children that
the divorce isnt their fault and that your love
for them will never change. And although it may
be tempting, never badmouth your soon-to-be
spouse in front of your children. Protect them
from as much negativity as you can.
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