The Helping Relationship

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The Helping Relationship

• All content is adapted from the ARL Library
  Management Skills Institute I the Manager
  workbook
• June 14, 2006

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Abilene Paradox

• is a paradox in which the limits of a particular
  situation force a group of people to act in a way
  that is directly the opposite of their actual
  preferences. It is a phenomenon that occurs when
  groups continue with misguided activities which
  no group member desires because no member is
  willing to raise objections
• Jerry B. Harvey The Abilene Paradox and other
  Meditations on Management (1988)
• From http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abilene_paradox

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What is the Helping Relationship?

• Gerard Egan designed the model to increase the
  effectiveness and reliability of helping.

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Definitions

• Helping Relationship interaction between Helper
  Helpee . Joint responsibility for the solution
  effects constructive problem solving.
• Helpee the person experiencing difficulty. The
  primary protagonist. Has sovereign
  responsibility to manage own life.
• Helper the person helping. Must listen
  attentively to verbal and nonverbal cues and must
  communicate that attention.

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Why?

• To avoid a situation where the Helper takes
  responsibility for the solution.
• When the Helper rescues the Helpee from the
  problem, it blocks the Helpee from learning and
  developing coping skills.

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Three Phases of the Helping Relationship

• Clarification
• Problem Solving
• Action

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The Three Phases 1 Clarification

• Helper supports Helpee to focus on what is
  wrong.
• The Helper must understand what the Helpee is
  saying communicate that understanding.
• The Helper/Helpee explore the problem and
  define it in clear language, also understanding
  the thoughts, feelings, and situations which
  contribute to the problem.

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The Three Phases 2 Problem Solving

• Helper
• lends personal experiences
• uses nondirective listening, clarification,
  paraphrasing, limited advising, and direct
  assistance
• hears, interprets and organizes
• Helpee
• listens nondefensively
• evaluates
• plans

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Three Phases 3 Action

• Helper participates with the Helpee in making
  plans and carrying them out
• Helpee learns to cooperate, take personal risks

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Summary Phases (adapted from Egan, 1975)

• Phase I Phase II Phase III
• Clarification Problem-Solving Action
• Helpee Searching Postulating Acting
• Exploring Evaluating Cooperating
• Deciding Risking
• Planning
• Helper Attending Modeling Encouraging
• Respecting Disclosing Supporting
• Confronting Advising
• Structuring

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Guidelines

• Listen carefully to what the individual asking
  for help is saying
• Listen for basic or core messages
• Respond fairly frequently, but be flexible and
  tentative
• Be gentle, but dont let the person run from
  issues
• Respond to both feeling content
• Move gradually toward exploration of critical
  topics
• After youve responded, attend carefully to cues
  which confirm or deny he accuracy of your
  response.
• Note signs of individual stress.
• Egan, Gerard. The Skilled Helper. Belmont, CA
  Wadsworth, 1975

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Questions?

• When would you use this model?