Bereavement Counselling Service Carers Association

1
Bereavement Counselling ServiceCarers
Association

• Coping with Lifes Losses Finding your Own
  Path
• Dr John Sharry,
• Dept of Child Psychiatry Mater Hospital Dublin.
• Parents Plus Charity

2
The Meaning of Loss

• Experience of loss is universal human experience
• If we care for someone or something then we are
  prone to experience loss
• The very nature of love means that we will
  experience loss
• Bereavment or the loss of a loved one is the
  probably the greatest of all losses we will have
  to experience

3
The Importance of Grief

• Grief is the process by which we deal with loss

4
Models of Grief

• Stages of grief model
• A) Denial/ shock
• B) Anger
• C) Bargaining
• D) Depression
• E) Acceptance

5
The Process of Grief

• Grief can be conceived as a journey of healing,
  from initial state of loss/ despair and chaos to
  acceptance/ integration/ meaning
• The starting and finishing point are unique to
  each person
• The pathway and journey are also unique

6
The Process of Grief

• Goal is to decrease sense of
• Denial/ despair/ meaningless/ loss of function
•  
• And to increase sense of
• Acceptance/ meaning/ hope/ integration

7
The Process of Grief

• People deal with loss differently
• People have very different timing
• People need different types of support

8
Acceptance/ Integration

• Remembering
• Reorganising
• Meaning/ Integration

9
What carers can do?

• Acknowledge name and listen to despair and upset
• Express care (words and deeds)
• Express hope (words and deeds) you can do
  hope without feeling hope (Weingarten 2000)
• Encourage support seeking for person (in
  community, in family, from counselling)

10
The role of counselling

• Counselling provides a companion on the journey
  of grief, someone who can help you clarify where
  you want to go and act as a guide to the
  territory of grief

11
If you are Grieving or Dealing with Loss

• COMPASSION (be kind and accepting to yourself,
  seek support)
• CHOICE ( you have a choice about how you respond
  to your loss)

12
Working Things Out

13
Working Things Out

• Interactive DVD that tells the story of ten young
  people who have overcome depression and other
  problems.
• Designed to be used as an educational resource in
  schools and clinics in Ireland Clinical
• Developed by Eileen Brosnan, Prof Carol
  Fitzpatrick, Dr John Sharry at the Mater
  Hospital Dublin.
• www.parentsplus.ie

14
Background

• Challenging Times study 1999-2002
• Set out to determine rates of psychiatric
  disorders and suicidal behaviours in adolescents
  aged 13-15 years in north Dublin
• Involved 723 adolescents pupils in 8 post-primary
  schools

15
Background

• Involved screening questionnaires and an
  adolescent and parent interview
• 15 adolescents had a current psychiatric
  disorder
• 4.5 had a current depressive disorder
• 1.9 had significant past suicidal ideation
• 1.5 had attempted suicide
• Lynch F, Mills C, Daly I, Fitzpatrick C. (2004)
  Journal of Adolescence, 27 441 451.Lynch F,
  Mills C, Daly I, Fitzpatrick C. (2005) Journal
  of Adolescence, epub ahead of print

16
Background

• Identified 18 adolescents who had experienced a
  depressive disorder within the previous two
  years, who had not had formal support, but were
  now well
• What had helped them to recover?
• These adolescents, along with a clinical group,
  engaged in interviews and focus groups to share
  with us their experiences of what had helped them
  to recover
• From these focus groups emerged the idea of
  making something to help other adolescents going
  through tough times . 14 adolescents
  participated in making Working Things Out

17
Background

• To facilitate a therapeutic story telling
  experience creatively, using digital media
• To help other adolescents who might be going
  through experiences similar to their own
• Stories are told from strengths-based perspective
  of what helped them to get through their tough
  times.

18
Overview of Content

• 10 stories, 1 song, 3 4 minutes each
• Text includes further information, link sites and
  professional points
• CD / DVD comes with manual for professionals
  using Working Things Out with young people

19
Overview of Content

• Cover topics such as depression, berereavment,
  self-harm, anxiety, self-harm, bullying etc.
• The main message from all the stories is one of
  telling someone how they were feeling, getting
  help, and things that the young people did to
  help themselves

20
Susans Story

• Susans brother died by suicide five years
  previously
• Susan had become depressed herself and could not
  talk to anyone about. She felt suicidal herself
• Eventually, with the help of a friend she got
  help
• This is her story

21
Cherokee Story

• An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about
  life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to
  the boy.
• "It is a terrible fight and it is between two
  wolves. One is anger, resentment and bitterness.
  The other is acceptance, peace, and forgiveness.
  The same fight is going on inside you - and
  inside every other person, too.
• The grandson thought about it for a minute and
  then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will
  win?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one
  you feed."