Intimacy Interrupted

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Intimacy Interrupted
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Geometry of Intimacy
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Triune God
Father
Unity
Community
God
Son
Spirit
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Biblical Design
Communion Communication Consummation
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Critical Definitions

• Intimacy
• Oneness 111
• Work of Art
• Work in Progress

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Intimacy

• To be FULLY KNOWN
• To be FULLY LOVED
• WITHOUT FEAR of Rejection
• To THEN Love Fully!

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Marriage Ministry

• 81 Insufficient Time with Spouse
• 64 Communication Difficulties
• 46 Suffer Sexual Problems
• 41 Anger Problems Toward Spouse
• Barna 98

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Cry for Help!

• 90 Work 55-75 Hours/Week
• 80 Believe Pastoral Ministry has Negatively
  Affected their Families
• 50 Drop Out within 5 Years
• 70 Do Not have Someone they Consider a Close
  Friend
• 90 Have considered leaving the ministry in the
  past 3 months.
• Pastorcare

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Dangers to Intimacy

• Unconfessed Sexual Sin
• Unacknowledged Sexual Ignorance
• Undeserved Sexual Exploitation
• Unexpected Stress
• Undisciplined, Unexamined Life

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What goes Wrong?

• Spiritually
• Relationally
• Communion
• Communication
• Collaboration
• Cooperation
• Physically

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Issues in Intimacy

• For Him
• Stress, Burnout, Fatigue
• Unrealistic Expectations
• Unrealized Dreams
• Failure to find REST in God

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Issues in Intimacy

• For Him
• Testosterone
• Erectile Dysfunction
• Premature Ejaculation
• Distractions Failure

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Issues in Intimacy

• For Him
• Lower Desire
• Problems with Arousal
• Decreasing size, ejaculatory force
• Change in weight, fitness

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Issues in Intimacy

• What can you DO
• For Him?

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What IS Sexuality?
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Sexual Response

• Desire
• Arousal
• Orgasm
• Excitation-Plateau-Orgasm-Resolution

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Sexual Dysfunction

• 80 of Couples Seeking Marital Therapy Complain
  of Sexual Dissatisfaction!
• Even in Very Happy Marriages 50 report some
  sexual problems or sexual dysfunction!

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The Secret to Great Lovemaking

• A Healthy Intimate Relationship
• Love according to Knowledge I Pet. 3
• Respect, Affirm Eph 5 I Pet. 3
• Affectionate Touch, Thoughtfulness, Surprises,
  and Tender Connecting
• Three-Dimensional Intimacy

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Sex Therapy
We are NOT the same!
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What Do Men Really Want From Sex?
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The Intimacy of Experience!
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Carnal Quest

• The EXPERIENCE becomes a substitute for REAL
  RELATIONSHIP
• Sexual Intimacy far MORE than just a Biological
  Act
• Compartmental

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Improper Priority

• Sexuality a Gift from God
• Not Quest for the Ultimate Experience
• Never Intended to be Ultimate Pursuit of Life
  Yet.. It IS a GIFT

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Intimacy, a Gift

• To be SHARED, EXPLORED, ENJOYED
• Requires Creativity
• KNOWING at a DEEP level
• Intuiting, Affirming, Respecting, Responding
• INITIATING (Song of Songs Ch. 8)

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What Do Women Really Want from Sex?
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The Experience of Intimacy
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Survey Results

• 80 Rather have Physical Closeness than Orgasm
• 70 Rather have Emotional Closeness than Orgasm
• 53 Want Time Together
• Arch Hart

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Female Orgasm

• 26 Difficulty Reaching Orgasm
• 25 Achieve Orgasm Always
• 33 75 of the Time
• 15 50 of the Time
• 10 Never Experienced
• Arch Hart

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What Women DONT Like

• 30 The Mess
• 16 Inconvenience
• 8 It Hurts
• 6 Partners Smell
• Arch Hart

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Traumatic History

• 50 Unwanted sexual touch
• 22 X-rated Movies or Magazines
• Explicit sexuality portrayed does NOT arouse
  female, may traumatize

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Intimacy Satisfaction to Her

• Emotional Closeness
• Bonding
• Commitment
• Love
• Affection
• Acceptance
• Basson

Global!
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Women Men
Compartmentalized
Global
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Sexual Response
Female Male
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Male Issues

• All about
• Performance
• And Pleasure!

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Female Sexual Response
Need for Intimacy
Orgasm
Arousal
Satisfaction
Choice
Desire
Physical Wellbeing
Awareness of Nonsexual Need to be Sexual
Basson Model
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Hormonal Environment
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Female Issues

• About Intimacy
• And Relationship

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Distinctive Differences

• Anatomy/Neuroanatomy
• Physiology
• Endocrinology
• Behavioral
• Emotional
• Manipulative

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Physiological Problems

• Impotence
• Ejaculatory problems
• Inhibited Sexual Desire
• Dyspareunia
• Anorgasmia

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What Happy Couples Say

• Make Sex a Priority
• Learn How to Communicate
• Learn How to Touch
• Kindle Romantic Flames
• Keep a Sense of Humor

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Pearls of Wisdom

• For Her Affection WITHOUT Expectation
• For Him Affirmation WITHOUT Manipulation

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Sensual Senses

• Sight
• Sound
• Smell
• Taste
• Touch

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Ejaculatory Problems

• Premature Ejaculation
• Functional Impotence
• Prostatitis
• Urethritis
• Infection (herpes/condyloma/chlamydia,GC)
• Chemical urethritis

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Sexuality A Gift of God

• to Unify two become one
• to Satisfy one anothers needs
• to Glorify the Lord
• Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Cutrer and
  Glahn

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Intimacy IGNITED!

• Restoring the DELIGHT
• Rekindling the FLAMES of Love for God and for One
  Another
• Delighting in
• Every Season of Life
• Each Serving Opportunity
• Expressions of Affection, Contentment,
  Faithfulness

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Have Questions?
Aspire2.com
WRCutrer_at_aol.com
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Request

• Getting Romance Right
• Stories from real life, not necessarily involving
  sex
• For men often an event or experience
• For women, great variety

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