Speak STRONG, Smart,

1
Speak STRONG,Smart, Sweet The 3 Sources of
Power for Assistants to Master Tough
Conversations
2
Note

• This PowerPoint accompanies the DVD and MP3Speak
  STRONG, Smart Sweet The 3 Sources of Power for
  Assistants to Master Tough Conversations
• Available at http//www.speakstrong.com/store/
• Read the accompanying article
• Key Conversations for Administrative Assistants
  located here http//www.speakstrong.com/articles/
  assts-support/savvy-assistants.html

3
Poison Phrase of the Week
- Blame it on your assistant
4
Teach Your Children Well
5
Codes

• A system used for brevity or secrecy of
  communication
• A set of standards

6
Code of Ethics for Administrative Professionals

• The administrative professional shall act as a
  trusted agent in professional relations,
  implementing responsibilities in the most
  competent manner and exercising knowledge and
  skill to promote the interests of the immediate
  and corporate employer.
• The administrative professional shall strive to
  maintain and enhance the dignity, status,
  competence, and standards of the profession and
  its practitioners.
• The administrative professional shall insist that
  judgments concerning continued employment,
  compensation, and promotion be based upon
  professional knowledge, ability, experience, and
  performance.
• The administrative professional must consider the
  promotion and preservation of the safety and
  welfare of the public to be the paramount duty.

7
Marias Job Description

• Write memos
• Set up meetings
• Handle complaints
• Sort mail
• Order supplies

• Compose memos
• Coordinate events
• Manage customer relations
• Prioritize communication
• Make purchasing decisions

8
Codes WeCan Cling To
9
Three sources of communication power

• Strength / determination / toughness
• Smarts / savvy / clarity
• Sweetness / saintliness / heart

10
Full-brain communication
11
As strong as

• A PowerPhrase is as strong as it needs to be
  and no stronger

12
Youve got to be tough if youre going to be
stupid
13

• Calm Down!!

14
The Power of Integrated Communication

• Breathe

15
A real tear-stopper
16
Get them

• Thinking (objective)
• Feeling (connection, team)
• Acting (results, goals)

17
Communication Options

• What kind of idiot are you?

• The same kind of idiot as the person who hired me
• I will not allow you to talk with me that way. I
  expect to be treated as a professional.
• Calling me an idiot is counterproductive to our
  efficiency
• and to our working relationship.

18
Communication Options

• Cant you follow any directions?

• I could if they werent being given by a moron
• Stop.
• Learning curves are natural. Lets work as a
  team.

19
Communication Options

• My dog can do a better job than you can.

- Hire your dog
That remark is insulting. Im on your team. I am
a professional and I expect to be treated as
one.
20
Three Approaches to LoseOne Approach to Choose
Lose Pathetically Passive
Encumbered with a low self image, Bob takes a job
as a speed-bump.
21
Three Approaches to LoseOne Approach to Choose
Lose Annoyingly Aggressive
Bobs group encounter sessions were not working
out.
22
Bottle and BlowDo You Go From

• Silence to violence?
• Holding back to attack?
• Mute to brute?

23
Three Approaches to LoseOne Approach to Choose
Lose Deceptively Passive-Aggressive
I love your hair! Do you cut it yourself?
24
Three Approaches to LoseOne Approach to Choose
Choose Effectively Assertive!
25
Claim your authority

• I dont want to talk to you. I want to talk to
  your boss.
• I can pass your question on to my boss shell
  get back to you in a few days. However, theres a
  good chance I can help you now. Which do you
  prefer?

26
Speak with your boss voice

• I cant help you
• (Bosss name) sent me here to get this, and
  (name) expects me to return with the information
  she sent me to get. I will tell (name) that you
  told me you wont give me the information she
  sent me to get.

27
Clear job descriptions

• (Boss) has told me that my first priority is to
  do this project. If she gives approval to
  prioritize your request over hers, Ill be happy
  to do that. Let me know if she does that.

28
Clear work relationship

• Weekly written updates
• Daily meetings
• Weekly meetings
• Judgment calls

29
Take charge without taking over

• What would they want me to do?
• Keep on walking until someone tells you to stop

30
Craft Clear Phrases

• PowerPhrases
• Short.
• Specific.
• Targeted.
• Say what you mean.
• Mean what you say.
• Not mean when you say it.

31
Be Brief
Whoa! Way too much information!
32
A PowerPhrase is as long as it needs to be

• and no longer.

33
Dive right in

• I have three questions for you and I need five
  minutes of your time.

34
Be Specific
35
PowerPhrases are Specific
No dear, when I said I was leaving this morning,
it wasnt for good. I should be home around seven.
36
Task clarification

• Specs
• Deadline
• Budget
• Priority relating to other tasks

37
Be specific

• Ill get this to you by 3 PM Tuesday
• In order to complete this project, I need three
  things from you. They are
• I need your authority. Will you please tell the
  team that you expect them to respond to my
  requests as they would respond to yours.
• Im leaving at 415 today.

• Ill get this to you soon.
• This is not clear.
• Get the team to listen to me.
• Im leaving early.

38
PowerPhrases are Targeted
39
Know what you want

• Be clear about your boundaries
• Keep your job
• Get information

40
Say What You Mean

• Think / facts
• Feel / connection
• Want / act

41
Thoughts/Facts

• (I think) thats a great idea.
• (I think) it may be unrealistic to try to get
  that by tonight.
• I think youre an idiot to ask that.

42
Feel/connection

• I care about your request.
• Im concerned that if I try to make that happen,
  something else will not get done.
• I respect you and want to honor your request.
• We would love that.
• That would bring us together.

43
Want / Action

• I want to be able to do what you ask without
  dropping a ball that Im already juggling.
• I will check on it and get back to you.
• I will do my best to research that once Ive
  fought the fires that are blazing right now. Is
  that acceptable?

44
Mean what you say

• Back your words up with action

45
I mean what I say

• Please log your request into my assignment book.
• While Id like to honor your request, Ive
  already committed my time to Mary. If you want me
  to give your project priority, please talk to
  her.
• I will be leaving on time today.

46
Dont be mean when you say it

• Fact-finding, not fault-finding.
• Thats the way you gave it to me.
• Youre not making sense.
• You never told me that.
• Before leaving last week I asked the department
  members if they had all that was needed to hold
  down the fort while I was gone. My part time
  assistant shoots me the comment
• Yeah, for you not to make any mistakes before you
  leave.

47
Facts. Feeling. Action.

• (I think) you are asking me to do something
  illegal.
• I feel uncomfortable with that.
• I will notarize it if I see your wife sign it.
• (I think) by transferring this, I put myself at
  risk.
• I feel afraid to do that.
• I will transfer it when I know Cliff has signed
  off on it.

48
Administrative Assistants Ultimate Communication
Formula

• Say What You Mean
• Mean What You Say
• Without being
• Mean When You Say It

49
Marias Job Description

• Write memos
• Set up meetings
• Handle complaints
• Sort mail
• Order supplies

• Compose memos
• Coordinate events
• Manage customer relations
• Prioritize communication
• Make purchasing decisions

50
Proactive

• Not an order-taker
• Computerized process that used to be done by
  hand?
• Just an assistant?
• We have a problem. I have a solution.
• No trash can? Ill just get one.

51
Action Steps

• Determine what conversations you need to have
• Define your codes
• Develop PowerPhrases for common situations
• Practice your phrases
• Start small
• Applaud baby steps
• Workup to the big one
• Keep on walking until someone tells you to stop

52
For more information

• Get the DVD or MP3 of this presentation at
  www.speakstrong.com/store/
• Bring Meryl to your meeting or organization.
  Visit www.speakstrong.com/hire_meryl/keynotes.htm
  lpower