My Therapist Sez . . .

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(No Transcript)
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My Therapist Sez . . .

• Coping with Difficult People

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Okay, whats wrong with them?

• Most every place of work, church and even family
  has its members who are known as

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Okay, whats wrong with them?

• Most every place of work, church and even family
  has its members who are known as
• a little weird

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Okay, whats wrong with them?

• Most every place of work, church and even family
  has its members who are known as
• a little weird
• quirky

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Okay, whats wrong with them?

• Most every place of work, church and even family
  has its members who are known as
• a little weird
• quirky
• just plain strange

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Okay, whats wrong with them?

• Most every place of work, church and even family
  has its members who are known as
• a little weird
• quirky
• just plain strange
• a real pain in the neck

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Okay, whats wrong with them?

• Most every place of work, church and even family
  has its members who are known as
• a little weird
• quirky
• just plain strange
• a real pain in the neck impossible

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Okay, whats wrong with them?

• Every church has its members who are known as
• a little weird
• quirky
• just plain strange
• a real pain in the neck impossible
• Some of these people are suffering from severe
• clinical problems called Personality
  Disorders.

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Who is a difficult person in your life?

• Colleague or customer?
• Someone at church?
• Friend or neighbor?
• Member of your family?

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What are the early warning signals?
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What are the early warning signals?

• Thinking, Thats odd . . .

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What are the early warning signals?

• Thinking, Thats odd . . .
• I wonder where that came from?

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What are the early warning signals?

• Thinking, Thats odd . . .
• I wonder where that came from?
• Ive got a queasy, uneasy feeling about
  this . . .

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What are the early warning signals?

• Thinking, Thats odd . . .
• I wonder where that came from?
• Ive got a queasy, uneasy feeling about
  this . . .
• He reminds me of Uncle Jake!

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What are the early warning signals?

• When you hear demands that are impossible to
  fulfill

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What are the early warning signals?

• When you hear demands that are impossible to
  fulfill
• When your strong emotions are triggered

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What are the early warning signals?

• When you hear demands that are impossible to
  fulfill
• When your strong emotions are triggered
• When you are told, You never,
• You always, You make me feel . . ., or
• I did it because you . . . .

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Here are some specific examples
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Here are some specific examples

• Lets say you hear,
• Ive gone to 17 churches this is the best
  one Ive ever found!

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Here are some specific examples

• Lets say you hear,
• Ive gone to 17 churches this is the best
  one Ive ever found!
• 6 months later . . .

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Here are some specific examples

• Lets say you hear,
• Ive gone to 17 churches this is the best
  one Ive ever found!
• 6 months later . . .
• Nobody cares about anybody around here. Im
  leaving this church.

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Here is another example

• Ive always felt empty inside. . . Ive never
  had anything good. . . Now Im married to Armand,
  and I know hes going to leave me. I am so
  scared.

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Here is another example

• Ive always felt empty inside. . . Ive never
  had anything good. . . Now Im married to Armand,
  and I know hes going to leave me. I am so
  scared.
• She just might fulfill her own prophecy
  constant questions about where hes been, who he
  was talking with . . . .

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You just might have encountered a
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You just might have encountered a

• Borderline Personality

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Here is an example of another type
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Here is an example of another type

• Carlos has just become the churchs new assistant
  worship leader. Nicest guy you would ever want to
  meet . . .

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Here is another example

• Carlos has just become the churchs new assistant
  worship leader. Nicest guy you would ever want to
  meet . . .
• Hes great about asking others opinions . . .

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Here is another example

• Carlos has just become the churchs new assistant
  worship leader. Nicest guy you would ever want to
  meet . . .
• Hes great about asking others opinions. . .
• But its impossible for him to make decisions on
  his own!

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One more example
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One more example

• Wife You always agree with me. Dont you
  have your own opinions? Be a man! Tell me what
  you think. Now, which movie do you want to see?

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One more example

• Wife You always agree with me. Dont you
  have your own opinions? Be a man! Tell me what
  you think. Now, which movie do you want to
  see?
• Husband Whichever one you want, dear.

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There is a good chance you have met a
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There is a good chance you have met a

• Dependent Personality

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Are you ready to meet someone else?
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Are you ready to meet someone else?

• Though her work skills are surely adequate,

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Are you ready to meet someone else?

• Though her work skills are surely adequate,
• Lucindas low-cut tops and short, short skirts,

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Are you ready to meet someone else?

• Though her work skills are surely adequate,
• Lucindas low-cut tops and short, short skirts,
• along with her seductive and provocative speech
  and behavior . . .

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Are you ready to meet someone else?

• Though her work skills are surely adequate,
• Lucindas low-cut tops and short, short skirts,
• along with her seductive and provocative speech
  and behavior . . .
• create a lot of office tension!

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Men can also have this personality type
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Men can also have this personality type

• At first, Bruce is a very engaging, high energy
  30-something young man.

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Men can also have this personality type

• At first, Bruce is a very engaging, high energy
  30-something young man.
• But then, his incessant stories about himself,
  bragging about his accomplishments, always
  seeking special treatment,

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Men can also have this personality type

• At first, Bruce is a very engaging, high energy
  30-something young man.
• But then, his incessant stories about himself,
  bragging about his accomplishments, always
  seeking special treatment,
• along with his complete unconcern about others .
  . .

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Men can also have this personality type

• At first, Bruce is a very engaging, high energy
  30-something young man.
• But then, his incessant stories about himself,
  bragging about his accomplishments, always
  seeking special treatment,
• along with his complete unconcern about others .
  . . makes him a complete bore!

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This person may be a
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This person may be a

• Histrionic or
• Narcissistic
• Personality

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The next person is very different . . .
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This person is very different . . .

• Elizabeth did a great job as VBS director.
  Everything went perfectly. Every detail carried
  out exactly as planned . . .

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This person is very different . . .

• Elizabeth did a great job as VBS director.
  Everything went perfectly. Every detail carried
  out exactly as planned . . .
• except
• they forgot to teach the kids about Jesus.

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Heres another . . .
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Heres another . . .

• Your supervisor at work micromanages everything
  you do. . . looks over your shoulder . . .
  corrects typos before you get the chance to use
  spell-check . . . straightens your desk for you
  twice a day!

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Sounds like an . . .
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Sounds like an . . .

• Obsessive-compulsive Personality

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Lets get to know one more type.
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Lets get to know one more type.

• The only reason you volunteered for that
  missions project is so you could get all the
  attention.

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Lets get to know one more type.

• The only reason you volunteered for that
  missions project is so you could get all the
  attention.
• or
• Thanks for the Mothers Day gift. . . Looks like
  youre wanting an expensive Fathers Day gift
  from me.

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You are probably dealing with a
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You are probably dealing with a

• Paranoid Personality

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Some quick tips on how to handle difficult people
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Some quick tips on how to handle difficult people

• 1 Respond with a Christ-like attitude
• (Phil. 23-7)

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Some quick tips on how to handle difficult people

• 1 Respond with a Christ-like attitude
• (Phil. 23-7)
• 2 Do a quick and prayerful self-check

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Some quick tips on how to handle difficult people

• 1 Respond with a Christ-like attitude
• (Phil. 23-7)
• 2 Do a quick and prayerful self-check
• 3 Dont take responsibility for what another
  person says or does

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Some quick tips on how to handle difficult people

• 1 Respond with a Christ-like attitude
• (Phil. 23-7)
• 2 Do a quick and prayerful self-check
• 3 Dont take responsibility for what another says
  or does
• 4 Protect yourself from excessive toxic
  relationships

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Oh, and just one more thing . . .
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Oh, and just one more thing . . .

• Is it I Lord?

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Oh, and just one more thing . . .

• Is it I Lord?
• Make sure you arent the difficult person!

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