ADVANCED TRAINING IN PERSONCENTRED THERAPY

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ADVANCED TRAINING IN PERSON-CENTRED THERAPY

• February 6-7, 2009
• (This presentation can be downloaded from
  www.davemearns.com)

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• INTRODUCTION TO RELATIONAL DEPTH

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• Mearns, D. Cooper, M. (2005). Working at
  Relational Depth in Counselling and
  Psychotherapy. London Sage. ISBN 0-7619-4458-3

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THE PROCESS OF RELATIONAL DEPTH

• The counsellors humanity is focused upon the
  client
• the client lets himself experience that humanity
• this creates a huge therapeutic space/safety for
  the client
• the client experiences himself more fully
• On an on-going basis the client is more sensitive
  to himself-in-relation.

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I stopped needing to pretend

• Box 3.6 on page 65 of Mearns, D. Thorne, B.
  (2007). Person-Centred Counselling in Action,
  Third Edition. London Sage.

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A Schema of Working at Relational Depth
B Negotiating client processes (including
difficult process)
C Contact with the clients existential process
A Offering relational depth
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Two Aspects of Relational Depth

• moments of relational depth
• relational depth experienced as a continuing
  relationship

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Presented Dimensions of Self
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Disguises, Clues, Lace Curtains and Safety
Screens
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Approach/ Avoidance towards being met at
relational depth
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How do we show our client that we are willing and
able to meet him at relational depth?

• We touch him in his experiencing
• We knock on his door at a deeper level of his
  experiencing
• We respect his positioning
• But we do not collude with a superficiality norm.

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• Relational
• Depth

• Emotional
• Depth

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Relational depth is about the quality of the
relational contact, not the quantity
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Relational Depth in Everyday Life

• Doug the teacher
• Mhairi the nurse
• Lillian the social worker

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Earning the Right to work with Rick A
Traumatised Client

• Chapter 6 in Mearns Cooper (2005) Working at
  Relational Depth in Counselling and Psychotherapy.

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• The Counterfeit Universe of war
• (Lifton, R.J. 1974 Home from the War. London
  Wildwood House)

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• I have taken a sane man and made him mad
  enough to go to war
• (Captain Rivers in Regeneration).

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RICK

• Fire fight
• Fragging
• Third tour
• Mute

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The first of 72 meetings over 12 weeks

• RICKS ROOM
• RICKS SILENCE
• MY WHO I AM SPEECH

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MEETING 2

• RESPECTING AND CONNECTING

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• ENCOUNTER NOT INVASION

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• RICKS TURNING ROUND

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MAINTAINING OUR HUMANITY WHEN WE GET LITTLE BACK

• What I did get back from Rick
• Staying fresh
• The rap group
• Supervision.

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• TALKING THE TALK

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MEETING 15

• THE FLYING BOOK

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MEETING 23

• THE DAY RICK CRIED

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MEETING 25

• TELL HIM NOT TO COME

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MEETING 26

• THE DAY DAVE CRIED

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MEETING 27

• DO YOU TAKE CREAM OR SUGAR?

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• THE END OF THE BEGINNING?
• OR
• THE BEGINNING OF THE END?

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Configurations

• Chapter 6 The nature of configurations within
  Self.
• Chapter 7 Person-centred therapy with
  configurations of Self in Mearns, D. Thorne,
  B. (2000) Person-Centred Therapy Today New
  Frontiers in Theory and Practice. London Sage.

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Definition

• A configuration is a hypothetical construct
  denoting a coherent pattern of feelings, thoughts
  and preferred behavioural responses symbolised or
  pre-symbolised by the person as reflective of a
  dimension of existence within the Self.

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Definition of Configuration (Non-Jargon Version)

• Sometimes people experience themselves as having
  different parts to their Self. Each part, or
  configuration, is well-developed, with its own
  feelings, thoughts and ways of behaving which may
  be quite different from other parts.

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Sam A 23 year old Traumatised Veteran

• I walk around watching people and myself. I
  watch myself watching myself. I have a me that
  I use for everyday life. It does all the normal
  things that other people do - it goes to work -
  it talks with other people - it goes to the store
  - it even makes love with my wife. It carries on
  as though nothing has happened. And I watch it.
  I stand in the background and wonder how I can do
  all that stuff.

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The Herald NewspaperSaturday, June 30,
2001Goran Ivanisevic Vs Andy Roddick

• Against Roddick on No. 1 Court yesterday, it was
  the good Goran who turned up for work to show
  the crowd the talent in his game which many
  thought he had lost for ever. In typical
  Ivanisevic style, he later claimed that during
  the game he was listening to his inner voice and
  at times the bad Goran did turn up. When that
  happened, he had to call up Goran No. 3 to sort
  things out.

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SOME CONFIGURED CLIENTS

• Mary Most of the time I am a little princess
  all sweetness and light. Butter wouldnt melt in
  my mouth. My little princess is friends with
  everyone and in general people treat her well.
  She developed in my childhood and she is still
  around. But I also have a hard edge as hard as
  the little princess is soft. I call this part
  vixen me. I shiver when I think about her. She
  would scratch your eyes out dont mess with
  her. She too arose in my childhood, for good
  reasons.

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• Joe I have strong me and weak me. For years
  strong me hated weak me but that has changed
  during counselling. I understand now how weak me
  came about it wasnt just that he was
  pathetic he was scared, deeply scared. Strong
  me helped me to survive but I need weak me too
  he has parts of me that strong me doesnt.

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• Mary and Joe are familiar with their
  configurations and have even given them names
  that reflect their main themes. For other people
  there is less familiarity, less clarity, but
  still a sense of pluralism, as with Teri who, in
  surviving a hostage situation, had discovered
  another dimension of her self

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• Teri At first I just cried. I felt that that was
  all I could do. Then something happened I
  stopped crying and became cool, clear and
  determined. I started to work out strategy. I had
  read about the fact that more hostages survived
  when they made themselves known to their
  captors. So I stopped snivelling and started to
  engage these people. I was amazed this wasnt
  me speaking, but, in fact, it was. I wasnt
  acting I was being me, but a part of me
  that I didnt recognise.

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PLURALIST THEORIES

• Transactional Analysis (Berne)
• Voices (Hermans, Stiles)
• Parts (Schwartz)
• Sub-personalities (Rowan)
• Complexes (Jung)
• Objects (Fairbairn)

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Configurations are not metaphors - they are
phenomenological realities
fairytale princess me Vs I am as innocent as a
fairytale princess
vixen me Vs I behaved like a
vixen CONFIGURATIONS METAPHORS
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• Configurations are NORMAL ways to hold dissonant
  material

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TWO COMMON NARRATIVES CARRIED BY CONFIGURATIONS

• SELF-EXPRESSION (growthful)
• SELF-PROTECTION (not for growth)

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Self-expressive Configurations

• The part of me that wants more out of life.
• The bit of me that isnt satisfied.
• The voice within me that screams Is this all
  there is?

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Self-protective Configurations

• The me that just wants to curl up and do
  absolutely nothing.
• The part that wants to go back.
• The bit that protects me by sabotaging new things.

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Person-Centred Therapy with Configurations of
Self

• Staying close to the clients symbolisation
• Listen for the parts, but dont invent them
• Avoiding zero-sum responding
• Empathic mediation helping the parts to hear
  each other
• Multi-directional partiality prizing all the
  parts
• Therapists use of their own configurational self.

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• Staying close to the
• clients symbolisation

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• Of course, there has always been the part of me
  which is the dutiful daughter and the other one
  which is the delinquent but there is another
  sense of me as well ..... I cant grasp it .....
  it is something to do with sadness .....

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Client there is a part of me that is
dreadfully vulnerable and sad .. she has only a
very small voice .. so I dont hear her very
often.
Therapist So I wonder what this hurt little
girl has to say to us

• Client I dont know .. I dont know ..

Therapist From what you said before it sounds
as though she is not just a hurt little girl
but an abused little girl ..?
Client I dont know .. I dont know ..
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Listen for the partsbut dont invent them
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• Bill Finally Im going to be free of John! I
  cant wait to get him out of my life.(stops
  talking and looks down)
• Dave Something else Bill?
• Bill When I said that, I felt like crying.
• Dave Is the feeling still with you?

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• Bill Yes - its in the background. Its behind
  everything I do.
• Dave Its behind everything you do
• Bill Its always there.always crying.
• Dave Always with you and always crying.
• Bill Yes, but only sometimes do I hear it. It
  never says anything. It only cries.

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Dont translate the Clients Metaphors into
Configurations

• Client I responded to him like a little girl.
• Therapist So, your little girl responded to
  him.

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Equally, dont translate the clients
configurations into metaphors

• Client The killer part of me wanted to destroy
  him.
• Therapist So, you felt like a killer - you
  wanted to destroy him.

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Avoiding Zero-Sum Responding

• Client Part of me feels x .. and part of me
  feels not x.
• Therapist So, you are conflicted about how you
  feel?

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Empathic Mediation Facilitating the dialogue
among parts

• The client, Bobby, struggles with the confusion
  around two parts of his Self. One part, which he
  calls mental me, used to protect him and
  control his existence through the use of extreme
  violence towards others and towards himself. But
  there is a newly emerging part, sad me, which
  is beginning to flood into his existence

Bobby I cut myself with my knife but still the
sadness overwhelms me. Dave Cutting yourself was
your way of staying in control.
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Bobby Yes - but its not working - that mental
part of me can no longer keep it together. Hes
in deep shit - his time is past. Dave And what
does he feel ..? Bobby .. Scared .. hes so
scared. He thinks that if he loses control I
will be done for .. Hes almost
crying. Dave Thats unusual for him
.. Bobby God yes - maybe hes not so different
from the sad part of me .. the sad part can
understand crying .. God, thats the one thing
he can understand.
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Dave Can he understand your fear as
well? Bobby .. yes .. I was good at holding
things together. If I cant hold things
together, I might be .. Dave You might
be? Bobby Dead. The only way to survive in my
world was to be really mental - to kill and to
mutilate first .. But it comes from fear . fear
and sadness are not so far apart.
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Multi Directional PartialityHonouring all the
parts of the Clients Self

• Therapist It seems to me that most of this
  session, so far, we have being hearing from that
  part of you which you called the strong part of
  me. You have also identified other parts of you
  that were quite different from the strong part
  of me - you called them lotus blossom and the
  frightened part of me. Is it meaningful to
  check-in with those parts - what do you think?
• Monica Fuck them - they are in the past - they
  are history.

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• Therapist Right - let me catch up - this is
  new. Is it like they are, really, history, or
  is it that you would want them to be history?
• Monica Fuck you - you wont let them go, will
  you.
• Therapist I am not going to let them go if they
  are parts of you - I am not going to dismiss any
  of you.
• Monica Who pays you anyway! (with humour)
• Therapist Good point .. Actually, I dont know
  who pays me. Who pays me?
• Monica Clever bastard.

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• The Therapists use of
• THEIR OWN
• configurational self

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Working all together with Clair
Extract 1

• Dave 1 I really dont understand why you are
  leaving the job.
• Clair 1 No, I knew you wouldnt.
• Dave 2 You mean you knew that I wouldnt
  understand it?
• Clair 2 Yes .. Ive seen it for ages. We are
  o.k. when we are working on my strong Self - that
  work has been great - I wouldnt take anything
  away from it. But my little girl isnt so sure
  about you.
• Dave 3 She doesnt trust me.
• Clair 3 She doesnt think you want to know her
  .. She is pretty scared you know.

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• Dave 4 (pause) I suppose we havent spent enough
  time on her. (pause) I guess I didnt hear her
  very well - I didnt realise how bad she felt. I
  see now that I didnt hear her very well.
• Clair 4 I didnt let her come out very often
  with you. Maybe I thought you wouldnt like me
  if I really showed you her.
• Dave 5 And perhaps I wasnt as open to her as I
  could have been ..
• Clair 5 Well, she has got to come out now. She
  needs to become a big girl now. So I am holding
  her hand and walking her out.
• Dave 6 And what are you feeling, little girl?
• Clair 6 I am scared .. and I am angry. I am
  not sure if I can trust you .. But I want to
  trust you.
• Dave 7 I want to apologise to you for not really
  listening to you until now.

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Extract 2 (two sessions later)

• Clair 1 It is better now, in here. It feels as
  though there are four of us working together.
• Dave 1 You mean, two of you and two of me?
• Clair 2 Yes.
• Dave 2 The two parts of you, you have called
  your strong Self and your little girl. But
  you also sense two parts to me here?
• Clair 3 Yes, dont you?
• Dave 3 Yes, but I havent given them names yet -
  in here at least - what is your sense of them?
• Clair 4 One is watching over everything that is
  happening. He is pretty competent, but he is
  also nervous. The other is not so used to being
  here but he has been invited. He has got a
  softness and vulnerability which is really good
  for me. He helps me to be soft with myself.
• Dave 4 He helps you to be soft with yourself ..?

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• Clair 5 When it was only your strong,
  competent self that was here - then my strong
  self just got together with you and there was no
  space for softies - no space for softies in
  either of us.
• Dave 5 And it is important that we touch that
  softness in you ..?
• Clair 6 It is important that we are all here,
  together. My parts both have strength - but they
  need to get along together, like yours do.
• Dave 6 Maybe I am more tentative, than I look,
  my soft part kind of feels okay with this but
  is a bit unsure.
• Clair 7 That is what soft parts are like,
  silly! Being unsure is part of being soft.
• Dave 7 I think you are more experienced at this
  than me, Clair.
• Clair 8 Never mind, well help each other along!

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Proposition 5

• Configurations may be established around
  introjections about self.

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Proposition 6
Configurations may also be established around
dissonant self-experiences.
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Proposition 7
Formative configurations assimilate other
consistent elements.
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Proposition 8
Configurations inter-relate and reconfigure.
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PRESENT TENSE DERIVATIVE
PAST TENSE DERIVATIVE
ME AS I WAS
ME AS I AM NOW
EMERGINGSYNERGY
ANOTHER ME
CONFLICT
BIFURCATION
DERI VATIVE
ME AS IVE ALWAYS KNOWN ME
THE CREEP
CONFLICT
PROTECTION
Alexander Map
FUCKEDME
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DIFFERENCES BETWEEN CONFIGURATIONS AND THE PARTS
IN DISSOCIATED PROCESS (Warner)

• Greater separation of dissociated parts
• More personification in the parts
• Information blockage between parts

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• Configurations may develop into dissociated parts
• (Warner Mearns, 2008)

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Reflecting upon our own Configurations of Self

• What might be the different parts within my
  Self? - If they had a voice what would they
  each say?
• What were my parts at earlier times in my life?
  - What did they say then?
• How do/did these different parts relate
  together?

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BUT REMEMBER

• Configurations are NOT meaningful to everyone