Training in NonVerbal Communication

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Training in Non-Verbal Communication

• By James J. Messina, Ph.D.

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OCULESICS Gaze Eye Contact

• Gaze is the term used to mean looking at a person
• Eye-contact means mutual gaze, where the two look
  at each other at the same time
• Maintaining eye contact signals genuineness
• Avoiding it signals shiftiness

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OCULESICS Gaze Eye Contact

• Very Direct eye contact Middle Easterners, Some
  Latin Americans, French
• Moderate eye contact Americans, Northern
  European, British
• Minimal eye contact East Asians, Southeast
  Asians, East Indians, Native Americans

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What is Paralanguage or Metacommunication?

• Voice - 'vibrant', 'thick' or 'flat'
• Voice Dynamics
• Intonation no two intonations are alike
• Rhythm accent certain syllables more definitely,
  lengthen more vowels, shorten unaccented vowels
• Continuity of Speech speak brokenly, in uneasy
  splashes of word groups, speak continuously
• Speed of Speech speak above or below certain
  socialized speeds
• Pronunciation
• Vocabulary Personality reflected in choice of
  words
• Style

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Prosodic features or Types Intonation

• Interrogative rising pitch when asking question
• Emotional wide range of emotions
• Grammatical clarity of 'asking' 'telling'
• Information structure convey what is new and
  what is already known in an utterance
• Textual pitch rises at beginning of new item
  then gradually fall
• Psychological information in 'chunks' more
  easily perceived and memorized
• Indexical marking personal identity by groups

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PROXEMICS Interpersonal Attitude Physical
Contact

• Attitude
• Hostile vs Friendly
• Dominant vs Submissive
• Physical Contact
• Shaking hands, touching, holding, embracing,
  pushing, or patting
• Reflect an element of intimacy or
• Feeling of (or lack of) attraction.

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PROXEMICS use of Space, Distance Proximity

• The distance conveys a non-verbal message.
• In some cultures it is a sign of attraction,
• In others it may reflect status or the intensity
  of the exchange
• Proximity in white Anglo Saxon cultures
• Intimate Space less than 18 inches
• Personal Space 18 inches to 4 feet
• Social/Consultative Space 4 - 12 ft
• Public Space more than 12 ft

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HAPTICS Contact vs Non Contact Use of physical
contact when communicating

• Contact
• Arabs Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Syria, United
  Arab Republic
• Latin Americans Bolivia, Cuba, Equator, El
  Salvador, Mexico, Paraguay, Peru, Puerto Rico,
  Venezuela
• Southern Europeans French, Italian, Turkish

• Non Contact
• Asian China, Indonesia, Japan, Philippines,
  Thailand Indians and Pakistanis
• Northern Europeans Australia, England, Germany,
  Netherlands, Norway, Scotland
• Americans

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CHRONEMCIS Time Perception

• Americans use M time
• monochromatic time emphasizes schedules,
  appointments, segmentation, and promptness
• Germans Swiss comment about Americans time
  management
• Do one thing at a time, concentrate on the job

• Middle East Latin America use P time
• polychromatic time characterized by several
  things going on at once
• Highly distractible
• Consider time commitments casually

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KINESICS Body Language

• Watching people's actions can bring you a lot
  closer to the truth than merely listening to what
  they say (which might be a cover-up)
• Science" of kinesthetics, or "body language"
• Can be very revealing
• Outward expressions of inner feelings.

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KINESICS Body Language

• Openness Open hands, unbuttoned coat.
• Defensiveness Arms crossed, sideways glance,
  touching-rubbing nose, rubbing eyes, buttoned
  coat, drawing away.
• Insecurity Pinching flesh, chewing pen, thumb
  over thumb, biting fingernail.
• Cooperation Upper body in sprinter's position,
  open hands, sitting on edge of chair, hand to
  face gestures, unbuttoning coat.

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KINESICS Body Language

• Confidence Steepled hands, hands behind back,
  back stiffened, hands in coat pockets with thumb
  out, hands on lapels of coat.
• Nervousness Clearing throat, "whew" sound,
  whistling, smoking, pinching flesh, fidgeting,
  covering mouth, jiggling money or keys, tugging
  ears, wringing hands.
• Frustration Short breaths, "tsk" sound, tightly
  clenched hands, wringing hands, fist-like
  gestures, pointing index finger, rubbing hand
  through hair, rubbing back of neck.

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GESTURES - Hand Shake

• Americans use a firm, solid grip
• Middle Easterners and Orientals prefer a gentle
  grip a firm grip to them suggests unnecessary
  aggressiveness

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GESTURES Eye Contact

• Americans are taught to look directly
• Japanese and Koreans are taught to avoid direct
  eye contact, direct eye contact to them is
  considered a weakness, and may indicate sexual
  overtones

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GESTURES O.K. Gesture

• Americans, forming a circle with thumb and
  forefinger to signal O.K.
• Means
• "zero" or worthless in France
• Money in Japan
• Calling someone a very bad name in Germany.

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GESTURES Nodding Yes or No

• For Americans, up and down means yes, side to
  side means no
• In Bulgaria, the nods are reversed in meaning.

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GESTURES Putting Feet on Table

• An American gesture is found to be offensive to
  nearly every other country around the globe

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Orientation

• People may present themselves in various ways
• face-to-face
• side-to-side
• back-to-back
• cooperating people are likely to sit side-by-side
  
• competitors frequently face one another.

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What is Position Sign of?

• Competition

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What is Position Sign of?

• Cooperation

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What is Position Sign of?

• Conversation

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Body Posture

• Inclusiveness or non-inclusiveness of posture -
  defines the space for the activities and delimits
  access to and within the group
• Vis-a-vis or parallel body orientation -gives
  evidence about the types of social activities
• Congruence or non-congruence of stance and
  positioning of extremities - indicates
  association, non-association or dissociation of
  group members

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What is this Posture?

• Affected

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What is this Posture?

• Angry

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What is this Posture?

• Curious

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What is this Posture?

• Determined

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What is this Posture?

• Excited

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What is this Posture?

• Puzzled

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What is this Posture?

• Rejecting

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What is this Posture?

• Searching

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What is this Posture?

• Shy

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What is this Posture?

• Stealthy

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What is this Posture?

• Watching

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What is this Posture?

• Welcoming

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What is this Posture?

• True Self

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What Bodily Communication would you use to

• A listener can
• actually interrupt there may be a brief battle,
  volume being the principal weapon
• show impatience, using rapid head-nods, often
  accompanied by verbal signals such as 'yes',
  'but' or 'well'

• Take the floor

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What Bodily Communication would you use to

• A speaker can
• raise the volume when the other interrupts and
  keep the volume raised if the other continues to
  try to interrupt
• keep a hand in mid-gesture at the end of
  sentences

• To keep the floor

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What Bodily Communication would you use to

• A speaker can
• come to the end of a sentence
• end by trailing off, or end with something
  open-ended like 'you know'
• drawl the final syllable
• end on a prolonged rising or falling pitch
• come to the end of some of the hand movements
  accompanying speech
• gaze at the other or nod

• To yield the floor

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What Bodily Communication would you use to

• A listener can
• grunt or make 'uh-huh' noises
• complete the sentence
• briefly request clarification
• briefly restate what the speaker said

• To decline an offer of the floor

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What Non-grammatical signals would you use?

• For Emphasis when you are speaking

• To be persuasive
• Gaze more
• More gestures head-nods
• More facial activity
• Higher speed of delivery
• Higher volume louder
• Hesitate less

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What Non-grammatical signals would you use?

• To frame what you are saying use
• Tone of voice
• Speed
• Pitch
• bodily movements quote or roll eyes

• To frame what you are saying

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What Non-grammatical signals would you use?

• To illustrate a point use
• variety of movements
• hand movements to clarify the verbal message,
  e.g. 'spiral staircase' or 'over there'

• To illustrate a point when you are speaking

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What Non-grammatical signals would you use?

• To give feedback use
• encouraging
• head-nods
• Smiles
• 'uh-huh' sounds etc
• more negative
• Frowns
• Grimaces
• stares

• To provide feedback to your audience when you are
  speaking

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What Non-grammatical signals would you use?

• To synchronize use
• period of adjustment of non-verbal signals to
  enable adjustment of your styles

• To provide synchronization so as to match style
  of speech with other party

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So What Does This Mean?

• Let me see!
• Authoritative
• Pondering
• Thinking
• Considering

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So What Does This Mean?

• Can I help!
• Trust me!
• Youre in good hands!
• Helping Hand

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So What Does This Mean?

• I cant take it anymore!
• It hurts so much!
• Pain

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So What Does This Mean?

• So what is going on?
• I just want the facts all the facts!
• Suspicious

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So What Does This Mean?

• What?
• So that is what you were thinking?
• Inquisitive

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So What Does This Mean?

• I dare you!
• Defensive
• Self-Protective
• Not Trusting

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So What Does This Mean?

• What do you mean!
• I am not going to take this!
• Angry

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So What Does This Mean?

• Wanna fight?
• Aggressive
• No flight here just fight that stressor!

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So What Does This Mean?

• Oh boy, the cameras are on me now!
• Dejected
• Disappointed

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So What Does This Mean?

• I am so!
• I can do everything better than you!
• Assertive
• Self-Pride
• Confident

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So What Does This Mean?

• Its not fair!
• I want it!
• I will make you miserable till I get it!
• Pout

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So What Does This Mean?

• Oh Brother!
• Pensive
• Thinking
• Concentrating

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So What Does This Mean?

• I dare you!
• Cold resolve
• Masking feelings

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So What Does This Mean?

• 1 Oh really must I be here? Why do I have to sit
  next to her? Ive got it!
• 2 Worried. This guy to my right is weird.
• 3 Can I pull it off? This is important to my
  future!

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So What Does This Mean?

• OH LORD!
• WHY?
• I cant take this, it is too much!

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So What Does This Mean?

• This guy is weird!
• Brush him off and I am free!
• Leave me alone!

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So What Does This Mean?

• Yuck!
• Well this is what she deserves!
• Rejecting

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So What Does This Mean?

• I will get through this!
• Determined
• I will not budge!

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So What Does This Mean?

• 1 Im in charge here!
• Dominating
• Intimidating
• 2 Fearful

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So What Does This Mean?

• Holy Cow!
• Wow!
• Shocked
• Surprised
• Bad Hair Day!

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So What Does This Mean?

• So Let me see? It was like this.
• I will give you what you want!

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So What Does This Mean?

• Now just stop that!
• Get out of here!
• Defensive
• Oppositional

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So What Does This Mean?

• So tell me more!
• Open
• Accepting
• Welcoming

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So What Does This Mean?

• Oh Yeah!
• Yummy!
• Pleasuring
• Enjoying
• Orally fixated!

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So What Does This Mean?

• So You want what?
• Tense
• Suspicious
• Hesitant

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So What Does This Mean?

• We girls do have fun!
• We enjoy each others company!
• Rapport
• Sociable

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So What Does This Mean?

• No! Leave me alone!
• Oh stop it!
• Withdrawn
• Pulled In

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So what do you think?

• How important is non-verbal communication in your
  communications with others?
• What messages are you sending which you really do
  not want others to pick up?
• Ho can you improve your effectiveness as a
  communicator?
• What do you need to do so as to improve your
  ability to listen to the non-verbal cues of
  others?