Personality Style and Your Relationships

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Personality StyleandYour Relationships

• How to Enhance Your Strengths
• And
• Minimize Your Weaknesses

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RESOURCES

• Style Awareness Training/PPR The Tracom
  Corporation
• Personal Styles and Effective Performance
• David W. Merrill and Roger H. Reid
• ISBN0-8019-6899-2
• Myers-Briggs Personality Test
• DISC Personality Test
  
  

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INCREASE

• Poise
• Purpose
• Self-Confidence
• Intuitiveness
• Team Work
• Understanding/Empathy for Others
• Effective Communication
• Flexibility

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DECREASE

• Misunderstandings
• Hurt Feelings
• Melt Downs
• Conflicts
• Wasted Time
• Frustration
• Impatience with Others

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Improve your Performance Under Pressure and
Tension

• Tension
• Response
• Reduction of Our Tension
• Habitual Patterns Form

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PROBLEM

• When we respond to tension with our habitually
  formed responses we may only decrease our tension
  temporarily and we may actually increase others
  tension unintentionally which will lead to
  ineffective communication and strife! OH NO!
  Now we have MORE TENSION!

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KEEP IN MIND

• Personality style is hard wired and cannot be
  changed
• Personality style can be moderated and managed by
  awareness of our impact on others
• There are no good or bad personality styles, only
  DIFFERENT styles with different approaches to
  social interaction

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KEEP IN MIND

• Everyone falls on the line somewhere.
• Most people are a shade of gray but we all have
  a tendency to be either an asker or a teller
  especially when under stress
• The closer you are to the middle the more
  difficult it is to tell your home base style so
  be sure to use pace, quantity, volume
• Do you listen more or talk more in a conversation?

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Deciding Directive StyleLook for the following
observable behaviors

• ASKERS
• Minimize risk
• 80 No
• Flight (avoid conflict)
• Reserved (moderate opinions)
• Unaggressive (uncomfortable using power)
• Questioning
• Cooperative go along attitude
• Silent
• Good listeners
• Thoughtful
• Likeable first impression
• Slow to make decisions

• Tellers
• Risk takers
• 60 Yes
• Fight
• Opinionated (makes statements)
• Aggressive (uses power comfortably)
• Competitive
• Warriors enjoy debate and confrontation
• Very talkative
• Takes initiative take charge attitude
• Overwhelming first impression
• Fast to make decisions

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ADJECTIVES USED TO DESCRIBE DIRECTIVE STYLES

• ASKERS
• Apologetic
• Quiet
• Shy
• Easy going
• Tentative
• Avoids imposing
• Cooperative
• Supportive

• TELLERS
• Bold
• Boisterous
• Outspoken/Outgoing
• Active/Makes presence known
• Forceful
• Challenging
• Confrontational

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PLACE YOURSELF ON THE DIRECTIVE LINE

• ASKER TELLER
• Place an where you fit on the line.
• Caution! Dont measure by your own yardstick!
• Ask people who know you if your placement is
  accurate.

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PRIORTY FOR EACH AFFILIATIVE STYLE

• RESERVED
• TASK
• SOCIAL

• EMOTIVE
• SOCIAL
• TASK

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Deciding Affliliative StyleLook for the
following observable behaviors

• Reserved
• Cautious
• Serious
• Intellectual (including humor)
• Self-sufficient
• Independent
• Indifferent to feelings
• Formal (clothes/speech/handshake)
• Proper
• Distant
• Precise
• Specific
• Critical (strict)
• No nonsense attitude
• Efficient (disciplined)
• Business like
• Harder to get to know
• Factual decisions
• Consistent/predictable

• Emotive
• Emotional
• Light hearted happy go lucky
• Self indulgent (permissive)
• Attention seeking (dramatic)
• Concerned for others
• Informal (clothes/speech/hearty handshake)
• Casual and easy going
• Playful (impulsive)
• Imprecise (easily changes mind)
• General
• Do not appear concerned by efficiency
• Easy to get to know (may over share)
• Decisions based on gut instincts and feelings
• Personal and friendly
• May be moody
• Displays large range of emotions
• Justice and fairness important
• Wears heart on sleeve

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PLACE YOURSELF ON THE AFFILIATIVE LINE

• Reserved
• Place an
• where you fit
• on the line.
• Ask people who know
• you which traits fit you
• best.
• Emotional

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The Four Personality Styles Quadrants
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DRIVERSGet the job done

• Reserved-Tellers
• Action Oriented
• Results Oriented
• Independent
• Make fast decisions based on facts (in order to
  get the job done!)
• May appear insensitive or rude
• Famous Examples
• Barbara Walters
• Henry Ford
• Kojak
• Lindbergh

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AMIABLESKeeping Harmony while doing the job

• Asking-Emoters
• Maintain relationships
• Sensitive to others feelings
• Respond to emotional appeals
• Warm, joyful, sharing
• Avoid risks dislike change
• Slow decision makers due to avoiding conflict
  with others
• Famous examples
• John Denver
• Gerald Ford
• Dwight Eisenhower

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ANALYTICALSDo the job right

• Reserved-Askers
• Always facts over personal feelings
• Appear to lack enthusiasm (analyzing all the
  time)
• Planners (need data, information, facts)
• Problem-solvers (analyze all possibilities)
• Meticulous and Perfectionists
• Slow decision makers due to needing time to
  analyze all the information and be correct
• Famous examples
• Eleanor Roosevelt
• Jimmy Carter
• Albert Einstein

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EXPRESSIVESHave fun while getting the job done

• Emotional-Tellers
• Assertive
• Responsive
• Impulsive
• Entertaining (funny and a performer)
• Idea generator (dreamer)
• Flighty or impractical
• Enthusiastic
• Strong intuitions (good instincts and hunches)
• Fast decision makers based on gut instincts for
  what will work, be popular and fun
• Famous Examples
• Carol
  Burnett Picasso
• 
  Winston Churchill
  George Patton
• 
  Muhammad Ali
  FDR
• Steve Irwin (crocodile
  hunter

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KEEP IN MIND

• When deciding home base style look at
  assertiveness first and affiliative second
• We all have back-up secondary styles so you may
  see some of more than one style in your behavior
  but look for your primary patterns of interaction

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KEEP IN MIND
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ANALYTICALOrientation

• Do not want to make mistakes so they have
  problems making decisions
• Excellent at paying attention to detail and
  specifics
• Often excellent at managing technology
• Need to be given enough time to process
  information before asked to make a decision
• Avoid change unless it is justified by new
  information
• Question asked during job HOW?

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AmiableOrientation

• Want to feel relationships are secure and
  decisions will not jeopardize relationships
• Listen to them to keep the group working together
  harmoniously
• Need rewarded for taking risks and setting goals
• Desire specific instructions
• Dislike change status quo is safer
• Question asked during job WHY?

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DriversOrientation

• Want to see results and have time frames to
  direct their efforts
• Great task masters
• They need to be allowed to organize the job so it
  is completed efficiently
• Accept change as necessary to do job
• Question asked during job WHAT?

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ExpressivesOrientation

• Want to feel appreciated, needed, wanted
• Want to be recognized for their contributions
• Respond well to pep talks and attention
• Can raise the overall energy within the group
• They need to be allowed to be creative
• Enjoy changes dislike status quo
• Question asked during job WHO?

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Growth Areas
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Behavior Under Stress

• Amiables Acquiesce-give-in
• Whatever you want
• Expressives Attack-yell
• Temper-tantrums
• Drivers Take over and get bossy
• My way or the highway
• Analyticals Withdraw from group
• Where is John Doe?

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Flow of Behavior if Stress is not Relieved

• All the styles go through a Z pattern if they
  are subjected to unrelenting stress
• You want to avoid this as the person is forced
  further and further away from their natural style
• React to relieve stress immediately when you
  observe the following patterns

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Amiables Z pattern

• Agree
• Attack
• Avoid
• Order

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Expressives Z Pattern

• Attack
• Agree
• Order
• Avoid

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Analyticals Z Pattern

• Avoid
• Order
• Agree
• Attack

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Drivers Z Pattern

• Order
• Avoid
• Attack
• Agree