Mentoring For Life Change

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MentoringFor Life Change
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Christian ministry was never meant to be a solo
journey!
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Exodus 1710-12
So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had
ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top
of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands,
the Israelites were winning, but whenever he
lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning.
When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone
and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and
Hur held his hands up - one on one side, one on
the other - so that his hands remained steady
till sunset.
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Never before have I been more convinced that
adult Christians need to form personal
friendships with those who share our commitments
and values.
Gordon MacDonald
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Why Mentoring???
I need regular contact with a friend who keeps me
close to Jesus and continues to call me to
faithfulness. Henri Nouwen
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Mentoring in Business
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• Help protégé climb ladder
• Older and more experienced
• Clear way smooth bumps
• Trusted guide who helps others

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Mentoring in the Bible
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• If all you had was 2 Timothy 11-8, what insights
  would you have for mentoring?

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2 Timothy 11-8

• Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of
  God, according to the promise of life that is in
  Christ Jesus, 2 To Timothy, my dear son Grace,
  mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ
  Jesus our Lord. 3 I thank God, whom I serve, as
  my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as
  night and day I constantly remember you in my
  prayers. 4 Recalling your tears, I long to see
  you, so that I may be filled with joy.

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• 5 I have been reminded of your sincere faith,
  which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in
  your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives
  in you also. 6 For this reason I remind you to
  fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you
  through the laying on of my hands. 7 For God did
  not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of
  power, of love and of self-discipline. 8 So do
  not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or
  ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in
  suffering for the gospel, by the power of God.

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Paul An Example (2 Tim 1)

• Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of
  God, according to the promise of life that is in
  Christ Jesus, 2 To Timothy, my dear son Grace,
  mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ
  Jesus our Lord. 3 I thank God, whom I serve, as
  my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as
  night and day I constantly remember you in my
  prayers. 4 Recalling your tears, I long to see
  you, so that I may be filled with joy.

Paul Thanks God for Timothy
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Paul An Example (2 Tim 1)

• Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of
  God, according to the promise of life that is in
  Christ Jesus, 2 To Timothy, my dear son Grace,
  mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ
  Jesus our Lord. 3 I thank God, whom I serve, as
  my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as
  night and day I constantly remember you in my
  prayers. 4 Recalling your tears, I long to see
  you, so that I may be filled with joy.

Paul Prays for Timothy
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Paul An Example (2 Tim 1)

• Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of
  God, according to the promise of life that is in
  Christ Jesus, 2 To Timothy, my dear son Grace,
  mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ
  Jesus our Lord. 3 I thank God, whom I serve, as
  my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as
  night and day I constantly remember you in my
  prayers. 4 Recalling your tears, I long to see
  you, so that I may be filled with joy.

Paul Longs to Be With Timothy
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• 5 I have been reminded of your sincere faith,
  which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in
  your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives
  in you also. 6 For this reason I remind you to
  fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you
  through the laying on of my hands. 7 For God did
  not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of
  power, of love and of self-discipline. 8 So do
  not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or
  ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in
  suffering for the gospel, by the power of God.

Paul Knows About His Life
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• 5 I have been reminded of your sincere faith,
  which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in
  your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives
  in you also. 6 For this reason I remind you to
  fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you
  through the laying on of my hands. 7 For God did
  not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of
  power, of love and of self-discipline. 8 So do
  not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or
  ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in
  suffering for the gospel, by the power of God.

Paul Speaks Into His Life
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Mentoring Defined
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• Mentoring is a relational experience where one
  person empowers another by sharing God-given
  resources (wisdom, experience, patterns, habits
  of obedience and principles) with them.

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Mentoring Defined

• Through the years, prayer, Bible study, share
  group participation and regular worship have been
  important to me. But never has anything been as
  powerfully important to me as having a spiritual
  friend.
• David Stone

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Mentoring Defined

• A mentor is a tutor, coach, counselor, guide, and
  friend. It is someone whose experiences,
  insights, qualities and characteristics are
  transferred to someone else, facilitating that
  person's growth and development.

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Mentoring Networks
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• We need a network of mentor relationships
• Vertical (mentor or mentoree)
• AND
• Horizontal (co-mentor)

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Mentoring Networks

• We need Upward Mentors, who have gone before us
  and can show the way...

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Mentoring Networks

• ...Downward Mentorees, who shake our complacency,
  renew our convictions, keep us on our toes, and
  multiply our ministry for Gods kingdom...

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Mentoring Networks

• ...and Peer Co-mentors, who know us, identify
  with us, and provide mutual stimulation and
  personal accountability.

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Mentoring Networks

• Pauls Mentor Relationships
• Mentors Gamaliel and Barnabas
• Mentorees Timothy and Titus
• Co-Mentors Partners

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My Paul
???
My Barnabas
ME
???
My Timothy
???
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Types of Mentors
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• Connecting
• The Mentoring Relationships We Need To Succeed
• Paul Stanley

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Types of Mentors

• Intensive

Occasional
Passive
More Deliberate
Less Deliberate
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Discipler Teaches and enables a mentoree in the
basics of following Christ.
Spiritual Guide A godly, mature follower of
Christ who shares knowledge, skills, and basic
philosophy on what it means to increasingly
realize Christlikeness in all areas of life.
Coach A person who knows how to do something
well, provides motivation and imparts skills to a
mentoree to equip them to complete a task.
Counsellor A person who gives timely advice and
impartial perspective on the mentoree's view of
self, others, circumstances, and ministry.
Teacher A person who imparts knowledge and
understanding of a particular subject.
Sponsor A person with credibility and authority
within an organisation who enables the
development of the mentoree and their influence
in the organisation.
Historical Model A person now dead whose life or
ministry is written in a biographical form and is
used as an example to indirectly impart skills,
principles, and values that empower another
person.
Contemporary Model A living person whose life or
ministry is used as an example to indirectly
impart skills, principles, and values that
empower another person.
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Fill in your chart!
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Fill in your chart!
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An acquaintance is a person you know casually and
share information with.
A friend is a person you know well and with whom
you practise one anothering.
A close buddy is a person you share
accountability and common goals with.
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Fill in your chart!
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Finding a Mentoree

• 1. Pray for a mentoree
• 2. Look for potential mentorees
• 3. Approach a potential mentoree
• 4. Arrange to meet regularly

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The Mentoring Role
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• 1. Caring Enough to Affirm
• Building up!
• Hebrews 1024
• 2. Loving Enough to Wound
• Tearing Down!
• Proverbs 275-6

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The Mentoring Role
Spiritual health demands a friend who will walk
alongside us, speak truth to us (even when it
hurts), and keep us honest in our relationships
with God and with other people. Paul Borthwick
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Mentoring Commands
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• 1. Establish the mentoring
• 2. Agree on the purpose of relating
• 3. Determine regularity of meeting
• 4. Determine type of accountability
• 5. Set up communication mechanisms

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Mentoring Commands

• 6. Clarify the level of confidentiality
• 7. Set life cycle of the relationship
• 8. Evaluate relationship periodically
• 9. Modify expectations to reality
• 10. Bring closure to the relationship

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A Mentoring Plan
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• 1. Meet once a week for an hour
• 2. Catch up on each others lives
• 3. Ask probing questions
• 4. Spend time in prayer
• 5. Offer regular check ins
• 6. Spend informal time together

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Mentoring Resources

• Connecting by Paul D. Stanley
• As Iron Sharpens Iron by Howard and William
  Hendricks
• Questions for Accountability
• Milkshakes at McDonalds
• Coffee at House of Coffees

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Accountability Qs
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• 1. Did I spend significant time in prayer and
  study this week?
• 2. Did I pray for the others, the church, ongoing
  concerns?

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Accountability Qs

• 3. Did I make my partner feel special and loved
  this week? Did they get quality time alone with
  me this week?
• 4. Did I make my kids feel special and loved? Did
  each kid get quality time alone with me this week?

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Accountability Qs

• 5. Did I take time for myself? Did I read, play,
  get away, etc?
• 6. Did I put myself in an awkward situation with
  a person of the opposite sex this week?

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Accountability Qs

• 7. Did I compromise my personal integrity this
  week?
• 8. What one sin most plagued me in my walk with
  God this week? What steps am I taking to overcome
  it?

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Accountability Qs

• 9. Am I financially responsible with what the
  Lord has given me, am I spending my money in a
  way that reflects His priorities?
• 10. What is God trying to teach me this week?
  Where do I need to grow?

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Sharing Scripture
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Prayer
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Encouragement
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Assistance
With help!
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Closing Challenge
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• What will do you with what you have heard today?
• Which area of mentoring do you need to develop
  in?
• Which dimension will you develop first up,
  down, sideways?