Parent Power:

1
Parent Power

• What Parents Need to Know
• and Do to Help Prevent
• Teen Pregnancy

2
Parent Power in three easy steps

• Research What we know about parental influence.
• Talking back What teens want adults to know.
• Tips What can parents do?

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The primary message

• When it comes to young peoples decisions about
  sex, parents influence has not been lost to
  peers and popular culture.
• Two decades of research, common sense, public
  opinion, and teens themselves, make clear
• Families Matter. A lot.

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Research

• What We Know About Parental Influence

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Research Relationships Matter

• Overall closeness between parents and their
  children matter most.

• Closeness is defined by such things as
• -Caring and concern
• -Parental presence in the home
• -Shared activities

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Research More than talk

• Talking with your children about sex, love,
  values, and relationships is absolutely necessary
  and absolutely insufficient.
• Without being more deeply involved in their
  lives, talking with your children about sex is
  unlikely to make much of a difference.

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Research Attitudes and values matter

• Parents should be clear about the value of
  abstinence and the dangers of sex without
  contraception.

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Research Parental supervision

• Research supports common sense ---supervision and
  monitoring adolescents makes a difference.
• However, overly strict monitoring by parents is
  associated with a greater risk of teen pregnancy.

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Research Parents and peers

• Parents overestimate the influence of peers and
  underestimate their own influence.

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Research Other risky behavior

• The close parent-child relationships that help
  protect young people from early sex and
  parenthood also help limit
• --violence
• --substance and alcohol use
• --school failure

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Research Parents in the dark

• Many parents are not aware that their children
  have had sex.
• For example, about 1/3 of parents of
  sexually-experienced 14-year-olds believe that
  their child has had sex.
• Only about ½ of parents of sexually experienced
  8th to 11th graders were aware that their child
  was sexually experienced.

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Research Dating Dangers

• Two powerful warning signs for early sex and
  pregnancy Close romantic attachments and
  significant age differences between partners
  (three or more years).

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Research A national consensus

• Abstinence should be strongly encouraged as the
  first and best option for young people.
• This strong admonition should be coupled with
  information about the benefits and limitations of
  contraception.
• Its not either-or, but both.

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Research A mixed message?

• Discussing abstinence and contraception at the
  same time does not send young people a mixed
  message.
• Seven out of ten teens describe messages
  encouraging abstinence -- coupled with
  information about contraception as clear and
  specific.

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Talking Back

• What Teens Want Adults to Know

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Talking Back What teens want

• Show us why teen pregnancy is such a bad idea.

• -Let us hear directly from teen parents.
• -Help us understand why teen pregnancy can get in
  the way of reaching our goals.

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Talking Back What teens want

• Show us what good responsible relationships look
  like.

• -Were influenced as much by what you do as what
  you say.

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Talking Back What teens want

• We really care what you think, even if we dont
  always act like it.

• -Talk to us about sex, love, and relationships
  and no lectures, please.
• -We may look grown up but we still want your help
  and advice.

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Talking Back What teens want

• We hate the talk as much as you do.

• -Dont sit us down for a sex talk.
• -Instead, start the conversation when were young
  and keep the conversation going as we grow older.

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Talking Back What teens want

• Telling us not to have sex is not enough.

• -Explain why you feel that way (if you do).
• -Discuss emotions, not just health and safety.
• -Listen to us and take our opinions seriously.

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Talking Back What teens want

• Even if we dont ask, we still have questions.

• -How far is too far for someone my age?
• -How do I know when having sex is the right thing
  to do?
• -How do I say no?
• -Will having sex make me popular?

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Talking Back What teens want

• If we ask about sex or contraception, dont
  assume we are already doing it.

• -We may just be curious or want to talk with
  someone we trust.
• -Dont think giving us information about sex and
  contraception will encourage us to have sex.
• -We need to know so that we can make good
  decisions.

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Talking Back What teens want

• Pay attention to us before we get into trouble.

• -Reward us for doing the right thing.
• -Talk with us about our friends, school, and what
  were interested in and worried about.
• -Come to our games and school events.

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Talking Back What teens want

• Dont leave us alone so much.

• -Make sure we have something to do after school.
• -If were at a party, make sure there is an adult
  around.

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Tips

• What Can Parents Do?

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Tips What can parents do?

• Be clear about your own sexual attitudes and
  values.

• -What do you really think about teens having sex?
• -Who is responsible for setting sexual limits and
  how is that done?
• -Were you sexually active as a teen and how do
  you feel about that now?

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Tips What can parents do?

• Talk with your children early and often and be
  specific.

• -Make it an 18-year conversation.
• -Help young people understand the context and
  meaning of sex, not just how body parts work.
• -Ask teens what they think and what worries them.
  

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Tips What can parents do?

• Be a parent with opinions. Such as

• -Sex should be associated with commitment, so I
  think you are too young to have sex.
• -If you do have sex, always use contraception
  until you are ready to have a child.
• -Our familys values say that sex should be an
  expression of love within marriage. I expect you
  to wait.

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Tips What can parents do?

• Supervise and monitor your children.

• -Establish rules, curfews, and standards of
  expected behavior through open family
  discussions.

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Tips What can parents do?

• Know your childrens friends and their families.

• -Meet the parents of your childrens friends.
• -Try to establish common rules and expectations.

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Tips What can parents do?

• Discourage early, frequent, steady dating.

• -One-on-one dating before age 16 can lead to
  trouble.
• -Make your strong feelings known about this early
  so it doesnt appear appear as though you dont
  like the particular person or invitation.

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Tips What can parents do?

• Take a strong stand against your child dating
  someone older.

• -Try setting a limit of no more than two or three
  year age difference.
• -The power differences created by these age
  disparities can lead to risky situations.

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Tips What can parents do?

• Help your teenager have options for the future
  that are more attractive than early pregnancy and
  parenthood.

• -Help them set meaningful goals for the future.
• -Talk to them about what it takes to reach their
  goals.
• -Explain how teen pregnancy can derail the best
  of plans.

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Tips What can parents do?

• Let your children know you value education
  highly.

• -Set high expectations about school performance.
• -School failure is often an early sign of other
  trouble.
• -Know homework assignments, support you child in
  getting them done.
• -Volunteer at school, if possible.

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Tips What can parents do?

• Talk to your sons as well as your daughters.

• -The nearly 900,000 teen girls who get pregnant
  each year dont do it alone.
• -Boys need to know that teen pregnancy has
  serious consequences for them, too.
• -Having sex doesnt make you a man, waiting until
  you are responsible and ready does.

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Tips What can parents do?

• Know what your kids are watching, reading, and
  listening to.

• -Encourage your children to think critically
  about the programs they watch and music they
  listen to.
• -Watch their favorite shows with them and use the
  opportunity as a discussion-starter.

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A Final Thought

• These tips work best when they occur as part of
  strong, close relationships with your children.
• --Express love clearly and often.
• --Listen carefully to what your children say.
• --Spend time with your children engaged in
  activities they like.
• --Be supportive of what interests them.
• --Be courteous and respectful to your children
  and their friends.
• --Help them build self-esteem by mastering
  skills self-esteem is earned, not given.
• --Try to have meals together.

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What is the most helpful thing my parents told
me about sex? I wouldnt know. My parents never
talked to me thats why I am now a dad --17
year old boy