Perspective

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Perspective

• The human and the spiritual together
• Spirituality is an inherent part of our human
  journeynot to see spirituality as other
  worldly or as escaping our humanness
• The self and God together, interrelated
• My human being with God as a spirituality for the
  second half of life

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Five Parts

1. Adulthood and Spirituality
2. Midlife Challenges
3. Ways of Being
4. Adult Imaging of God
5. The Imago Dei

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I. Adulthood and Spirituality
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What does it mean to be an adult?

• Two essential hallmarks
• integrity and mutuality
• A mature adult is integral
• (its own whole).
• This whole relates in considered mutuality to
  the other.

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Integrity and Mutuality

• Integrity and considered mutuality always go
  together. (If I can be fully me, then the other
  can be fully other.)
• Integrity and considered mutuality define what it
  means to be fully human.
• Caution we all have unfinished pieces and
  shortcomings. Integrity and relating in
  considered mutuality need not be perfect, only
  good enough.

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A self that is integral

• Has grown up, can stand on its own, is
  self-possessed.
• Can own all of its pieces, the good and the
  bad, the welcome and the unwelcome.
• Has its locus of valuing inside and not with
  significant others outside.
• Is its own cohesive, felt-from-within,
  self-authoring whole.

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What is considered mutuality?

• Relating to whomever or whatever is other in a
  way that respects that others difference,
  individuality, and boundaries
• Genuine concern for the unique character,
  particular history, and special needs of the
  other.

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So, considered mutuality

• finds the unique wholeness of the other
• relates to an unique actual other, this other
  person, institution, or aspect of the
  environment.
• two distinctive features of relating
• - includes the culture, context, and
  circumstances of the other
• - senses the nature or purpose or spirit of
  the other

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So, considered mutuality

• 2. is love and care for the other
• Becoming accomplished in the mutuality of love
  is the indispensable key to becoming human.
• And what is love? Love is the thoughtful and
  deliberate practice of attending to the needs,
  concerns, and well-being of others.
• All of us need this kind of love that flows from
  integrity and considered mutuality.

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So, considered mutuality

• 3. is justice for the other.
• Impels us to respond to the other in ways that
  are just. Often, this justice is framed in terms
  of the rights of the other or of equality under
  the law.
• But if we are all equal, we are also all quite
  unique. Paying attention to the inner of the
  other is also part of justice. A great deal of
  our integrity relies on how well we can listen to
  others. Empathy and justice go together.

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Why talk about being an adult?

• If we are mature adults, the human and the
  spiritual actually do go together. To be an adult
  is to be a spiritual person.
• A spirituality grounded in the fullness of the
  human is about wholeness and considered
  mutuality.
• A fully human and fully embodied spirituality is
  always about integrity and respect, loving care,
  and justice for the other.

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Important Characteristics of Being an Adult

• As part of integrity and considered
  mutuality, adults have
• 1) their own voice
• 2) empathy for self and other
• 2) intimacy with the other
• 4) dialogue with the other

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Voice

• From our integrity, from the wholeness of our
  embodied, experienced selves.
• There are times we need to say (verbally or
  symbolically) who we are and what we attest to.
• To have a voice is to have a self, and not to
  have a voice is not to be in adult relationship
  with the other.
• Not to listen to the others voice is to withhold
  respect, loving care, and justice.

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Empathy

• Self-empathy is felt integrity, owning all the
  pieces of the self. To know and feel what we
  are feeling lets us be whole.
• Empathy for the otherbeing in the inner world
  of the other as if it were my own
• At the heart of integrity and of considered
  mutuality
• Makes intimacy possible

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Intimacy

• Welcoming the feeling and depth of the other into
  the feeling and depth of the self
• Without it, and the empathy that goes with it, we
  cannot know the inner of the other.
• Crucial to a mature sense of mutuality is an
  appreciation of the wholeness of the other
  person, with a special awareness of the others
  subjective experience.
• (Judith Jordan)

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Dialogue

• Happens when voice, empathy, and intimacy come
  together
• Wholeness of the self engaging the wholeness of
  the other, in respect, loving care, and justice.
• Without knowing the inner of the other
• change and transformation do not occur, and
• integrity and considered mutuality of both
  parties is compromised.
• Adults dialogue (voice, empathy, intimacy).

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Examples in Adult Religion

• Adult prayer
• Is there a way of praying that is adult?
• Adult church
• Is there a way of being church that honors and
  fosters a community of adults?

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Adult Prayer?

• Allowing my whole embodied voice, coming from my
  feeling and the inner of myself, to be in
  conversation with the living God.
• Listening for Gods voice to touch me in my
  feeling and depth, my inner.
• Allowing the empathy of the living God to dwell
  within the inner of my self.
• Prayer as a dialogue of voice, of mutual empathy,
  and of intimacy.

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Adult Church?

• A place where one can have a voice that is able
  to speak and be listened to
• A place of mutual empathy and shared pastoral
  care
• A place of intimacy, where the feeling and
  depth of the self and of the other are able to be
  honored
• A place where dialogue is an official language,
  allowing religious experience to be shared and
  Gods voice of challenge and transformation to
  emerge and be heard

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Interlude

• Can you talk very briefly (2-3 minutes) with one
  or two people around you?
• Do the human and the spiritual go together?
• Does any part of this understanding of integrity
  and considered mutuality make sense for being an
  adult and a fully spiritual person?
• Do you think voice, empathy, intimacy, and
  dialogue go together in adulthood and in an adult
  spirituality, religious or not?

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II. Midlife Challenges
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Midlife

• Age thirty-five or forty, and beyond
• A transition (easy or hard), a crisis for some
  and a liberation for others.
• The major life transition between the first and
  second half of life the midpoint between birth
  and death.
• Often there is liminality, a state of
  disorientation as goals, identifications,
  values, and sense of self are in flux.

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Midlife and Spirituality

• But we cannot live the afternoon of life
  according to the programme of lifes morningfor
  what was great in the morning will be little in
  the evening (Jung)
• The prizes for the first half of life are for
  achievement, not for personality. (Jung)
• Among all my patients in the second half of
  lifethat is to say, over thirty fivethere has
  not been one whose problem in the last resort was
  not that of finding a religious outlook on life.
  (Jung)

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Four Challenges at Midlife(and a call to deeper
spirituality?)

• 1. The Body
• 2. The Dream
• 3. Evil
• 4. Death

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The Body At Midlife

• May not be the obedient servant as before
• Perhaps less stamina, the eyes less sharp, libido
  less strong, bones less dense, fat cells more
  autonomous, etc.
• Perhaps feeling less attractive
• Perhaps we have a major illness or loss or
  disability, or perhaps those we are close to
  experience these.

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The Body At Midlife

• Midlife Question
• Can I accept my body as it is now?
• Can I be my aging body?
• Am I more comfortable in my body now?
• Spirituality Question
• How do I embody my spirituality now?
• Is there something God is calling me to embody in
  my life now?

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The Dream At Midlife

• As a young adult what I will be as I become my
  own person
• Usually about love and work
• Where is the dream now? Did it bring what I
  hoped it would? Could I even live it out?
• Am I disillusioned or depressed?
• Is family life or marriage changing?
• Is work and its meaning changing

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The Dream At Midlife

• Midlife Question
• Do I have a dream at this point in my life?
• If not, is there someone who can help me find it?
• Can the dream give me new life and draw me
  forward?
• Spirituality Question
• Is there something calling me now, perhaps
  something important in a way that is new or
  different? Is my faith part of the dream?

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Evil At Midlife

• Evil in the world and the evil in the self are
  not so easily ignored now.
• In what ways do I need to stand against violence,
  hatred, and injustice?
• If I made a list of things I cant stand in other
  people, could it be that the list is also in me?
• Can I say There but for the grace of God go I?

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Evil At Midlife

• Midlife Question
• Can I accept the reality of evil in the world
  (violence and injustice) and in myself
  (injustices, vices, or addictions)?
• Spirituality Question
• Is there a way for natural evil to be swallowed
  up in supernatural good?

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Death At Midlife

• Easily becomes a personal reality
  I am going to die.
• Death as culmination raises the question
  What is the meaning of my life?
• If it is my death, if no one can die for me, does
  that mean it is my life, no one can live for me?
• What goes into my understanding of death now? Is
  it loss, transition, annihilation, culmination,
  transformation, celebration, or what?

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Death At Midlife

• Midlife Question
• Can I accept the reality of death?
• What does it mean if I do that?
• What does it mean if I dont?
• Spirituality Question
• What meaning can I now make of death and of the
  Paschal Mystery (the suffering, death, and
  resurrection of Jesus)?

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Interlude

• Can you talk very briefly (2-3 minutes) with one
  or two people around you?
• Is (or was) your experience of midlife more like
  a transition, more like a crisis, more like a
  liberation, or what?
• Could coming to terms with the body, the dream,
  evil, and death open me to a spirituality of
  compassion?

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III. Ways of Being in the Second Half of Life
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Second Half of Life Choices

• Many dialectical choices ways of being that are
  very human and very religious
• Jesus talked about some of these choices as ways
  of being
• Three (of a number) of ways of being

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Being Fearful vs.Having Trust and Courage

• Being fearful issues of health, physical harm,
  safety, financial concerns, concerns for family,
  wars, political unrest, etc.
• Jesus talked about fear, and he kept talking
  about having trust and courage.
• Trust in God. Do not be afraid.

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Being Judgmental vs.Being Forgiving

• Being judgmental all the things that are not
  the way they should be, the ways I have been
  violated, disrespected, etc.
• Jesus talked about being judgmental and being
  forgiving.
• Judge not that you be not judged.
• Forgive your neighbor, not seven times but
  seventy times seven.

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Being Entitled vs.Being of Service

• Being entitled all the things that should be
  mine, all the things I have worked so hard for,
  all that I deserve for what I have done, etc.
• Jesus talked about being entitled and about being
  of service.
• Do not take the first place.
• I came not to be served but to serve.
• The last shall be first.
• The washing of the feet at the Last Supper.

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Interlude

• Can you talk very briefly (2-3 minutes) with one
  or two people around you?
• Why are being fearful, being judgmental, and
  being entitled so seductive in the second half of
  life? Is one of these or some other my favorite?
• What helps me to go forward with trust, courage,
  forgiveness, and in service to others?

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IV. Adult Imaging of God in the Second Half of
Life
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Imaging God

• Develops as we ourselves develop and mature
• In childhood and adolescence, while our imaging
  of reality is still developing, our imaging of
  God is usually childlike and adolescent.
• In adulthood, as reasonably whole selves relating
  in considered mutuality, our imaging of God is at
  least able to be adult as well.

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A Superego God

• The God of childhood and adolescence. It has
  parent-like authority and a parent-like voice,
  and it is very interested in controlling how we
  should be and how we should act.
• From the perspective of adulthoodit is an
  incomplete God, a God still forming, a God is
  which all the pieces have not quite come
  together.

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A Living God

• The God of adulthood is a God of mutuality. We we
  can relate to this integral God out of our own
  integrity. A God of transforming mutuality in an
  adult relationship with us.
• A complete God, a God of adult imaging, a God
  fully formed.
• Imaging this Living God is best described by
  the saints and the mystics.

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Imaging the Superego God

• Supreme Beingall-powerful, at a great distance
  from us, and yet all-seeing.
• God of Lawto obey the law is to be OK with God
  we are guilty when we fail. God loves us when we
  are good and punishes us when we are bad.
• God of Beliefto have the right belief is to be
  right with God.
• God of Controlmost of the things I really want
  to do are not allowed.
• God of the Groupchurch is the place where we
  worship the Supreme Being, the God of Law, the
  God of Belief, and the God of Control.

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Imaging the Living God

• A transformation of the ways we image the
  Superego God of childhood and adolescence.
• We personally experience rather than know about
  this God.
• An experience of salvation rather than its
  promise.
• Close and intimate rather than distant.
• Not interested in control but in our growth and
  flourishing as whole adults who relate to
  creation in considered mutuality.

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A Living God is

• 1. a God as Thou
• Transformation of the Supreme Being
• An intimate, personal relationship
• What God asks is a living relationship, an 'I
  am, an 'I am who is, an 'I am with you. What
  God wants is an answering 'I am too, one that
  says, 'Here I am too. I am with you. (Ann
  Ulanov)
• You are closer to me than I am to myself.
• (Saint Augustine)

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A Living God is

• 2. a God of Love
• Transformation of the God of Law
• God of Unconditional Acceptance. Is there
  anything that can make God not love us?
• God of Conscience and Personal Responsibilityresp
  ecting the inner.
• In mutual indwelling with us, and we experience a
  synergy (or shared energy), an empowerment in God
  which makes us even more our own integral
  process.

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A Living God is

• 3. a God of Mystery
• Transformation of the God of Belief
• We dwell in the God of Mystery and the God of
  Mystery dwells in us.
• In my childhood, your love was there waiting
  for me
• As I grew up, it grew with me
• And now it is like a great chasm whose depths
  are past sounding.
• (St. Thérèse of Lisieux)

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A Living God is

• 4. a God of Freedom
• Transformation of the God of Control
• Struggle for freedom from God is transformed into
  a freedom in God.
• We surrender to a God who lets us be free, and
  our realization of the freedom comes from the
  surrendering.
• Love God and do what you will.
• (St. Augustine)

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A Living God is

• 5. a God of Community
• Transformation of the God of the Group
• Church is the place where we celebrate God as
  Thou, the God of Love, the God of Mystery, and
  the God of Freedom
• Deeply enlivening experience we want to give
  back what we receive
• Deepens integrity, mutual love, mutual caring,
  mutual respect, and justiceall reaching across
  boundaries.

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Interlude

• Can you talk very briefly (2-3 minutes) with one
  or two people around you?
• Does how we image the Superego God as we are
  growing up and how we are at least able to image
  the Living God as adults make any sense?
• Can our experience of the Living God deepen our
  integrity and considered mutuality in the second
  half of life?

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V. The Imago Dei
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The Imago Dei

• How the human and the spiritual come together
• To see the fullness of adulthood and adult
  spirituality in the image and likeness of God

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Imago Dei

• God is Integrity and
• Considered Mutuality
• (The Trinity)
• God is Love
• God is Justice

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Imago Dei

• God is Empathy
• (The Incarnation)
• God is Care
• God is Forgiveness

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Imago Dei

• God is Freedom
• God is Mystery
• God is the Witnessing Community

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Imago Dei

• God is the Servant
• God is a Resurrected Body
• God is the Dream

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The journey into self is a journey into God, and
the journey into God is a journey into self.
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