The Antianxiety Medications Some Practical Questions

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Swatting Flies Minimizing Backbiting as an
Organizational Distraction A Presentation for
Cornerstone United Methodist Church
Kendall L. Stewart, M.D. March 9, 2003
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What are the objectives of this presentation?

• After listening to this presentation, you will be
  able to
• Describe three problems that backbiting causes in
  our organizations
• List three practical strategies for minimizing
  backbiting
• Explain why you should employ those strategies,
  and
• Specify exactly how those strategies can be
  successfully implemented in your everyday life.

I want to speak frankly, and that may make you
uncomfortable. Heck, speaking frankly makes me
uncomfortable at times. I once treated an
exhibitionist and a saran-wrapped psychotic.
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Whats in this for you?

• Backbiters are the pesky flies of organizational
  life.
• When others do it, they are attempting to
  undermine and annoy when we do it, were only
  expressing our opinions or trying to help.
• While eliminating backbiting entirely is
  unrealistic and undesirable, minimizing the
  impact of backbiting on our lives is a worthy
  goal.
• Here are some practical strategies that a wise
  mentor might suggest.
• Even the partial implementation of some of these
  strategies can make a world of difference in your
  life.

This is the kind of stuff that is hard to
remember because it goes against the grain. A
doctor asked me how you can tell youre getting
Alzheimers. Another colleagues team lost on
Sunday.
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What are some practical strategies for minimizing
the impact of backbiting?

• Wear insect repellant.
• Avoid garbage dumps.
• Install window screens.
• Dont leave the door open.
• Hang fly traps.
• Smack them hard when they light.
• Keep moving.
• Keep some bullfrogs around.
• Stay cool. Sweat attracts flies.
• Keep the place clean.

• Listen for the buzz.
• Seal the cracks.
• Dont give them time to lay eggs.
• Stay focused. Dont lose your head over a few
  flies.
• Drain the swamps.
• Shoo them out (into the light).
• Keep a fly swatter handy.
• Remain (mildly) annoyed.
• Be realistic. You cant kill all of the flies.
• Recognize that flies can be helpful.

If you find yourself engaged in swatting flies
regularly, you are doing something wrong. A
woman found her husband with a swatter. Ive
killed 3 males and 2 females!
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Stop leaving the door open.

• Why should you?
• Backbiting flies look for every opening.
• Once inside, they are not easily discouraged.
• Shooing them back out is a lot harder than
  keeping them out in the first place.
• A promise of confidentiality beforehand is an
  open door.
• A failure to breech confidentiality when you
  realize what is happening is another open door.
• Passive listening is yet another open door.

• How can you?
• Never make a promise of confidentiality before
  you have heard the message.
• Make it clear that your open door policy does not
  extend to backbitingand then stick to your guns.
• Ask the flies whether they have confronted the
  person they are criticizing. If not, inform them
  that they have a choice.
• Go back to those to whom you have mistakenly
  pledged confidentiality.
• Recognize that if flies are visiting you
  regularly, you are leaving a door open.

Fellow executive came in to say her Director
complained about my Director. I gave her
Director 24 hours to act. A doctor came to Randy
to complain about me. I called the doctor myself.
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Avoid garbage dumps.

• Why should you?
• In every organization, there are places where
  flies breed and swarm.
• Spend some time there and you will no long smell
  the stench.
• By your very presence, you legitimize what is
  going on.
• Feed on this filth, and you will start to crave
  it as a regular diet.
• Any attempt to point out the destructiveness of
  what is going on will be drowned out by the
  feeding frenzy.

• How can you?
• Avoid these places and situations.
• If you must pass through, keep moving. Dont sit
  down.
• Spend your time upwind from these sewers.
• Remind yourself that bad habits are rarely
  discontinued. They are replaced with better
  habits.
• If you cant find positive groups, learn to be
  alone.
• Insist that boaters row instead of drift.
  (Kendall trips)

The Chaplain of Bourbon Street. Wayne Young in
San Diego. John Hurley in New Orleans.
Jonathans experience in the teachers lounge.
Medical Directors in Dallasbad flight and
whining.
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Smack them hard when they light.

• Why should you?
• Neither flies nor backbiters are easily
  discouraged.
• These varmints view the absence of adverse
  consequences as encouragement they will conclude
  that you are just another rotting carcass.
• Strong consequences will stop some backbiting
  altogetherand encourage other flies to move on.
• Aggressive reaction will force us to look at
  ourselves.

• How can you?
• Tell them that this is making you uncomfortable.
• Ask them to confront the victim directly.
• Document what they said.
• Withdraw your commitment of keep what they said
  in confidence.
• Consider telling on themif they wont tell on
  themselves.

Smacking others in love is the most effective
approach. Dr. Bertrand challenged me about my
complaint about a professor. Signed my diploma
and offered to nominate me for a Rhoades.
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What have you learned from this presentation?

• We are all backbiters.
• We have all been backbitten.
• We ought to strive to minimize the backbiting in
  our lives.
• It is not easy.
• And most people dont try very hard.
• You now know some things that can help you make a
  difference in your life and the lives of those
  around you.

We all have our excuses. Here are some reportedly
recorded by school secretaries.
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Where can you learn more?

• Stewart, Kendall L., et. al. A Portable Mentor
  for Organizational Leaders, SOMCPress, 2003
• Stewart, Kendall L., Physician Traps Some
  Practical Ways to Avoid Becoming a Miserable
  Doctor A SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress, July
  24, 2002
• Stewart, Kendall L. et. al, On Being Successful
  at SOMC Some Practical Guidelines for New
  Physicians A SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress,
  January 2001
• Stewart, Kendall L., Bigwigs Behaving Badly
  Understanding and Coping with Notable
  Misbehavior A SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress,
  March 11, 2002
• Stewart, Kendall L., Relationships Building and
  Sustaining the Interpersonal Foundations of
  Organizational Success A SOMCPress White Paper,
  SOMCPress, March 11, 2002

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How can we contact you?
Kendall L. Stewart, M.D. Medical
Director Southern Ohio Medical Center President
CEO The SOMC Medical Care Foundation,
Inc. 1805 27th Street Portsmouth, Ohio
45662 740.356.8153 stewartk_at_somc.org
www.somc.org
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What questions do you have?
www.somc.org
Southern Ohio Medical Center
? Safety ? Quality ? Service ? Relationships ?
Performance ?