We Must Accept Responsibility For Our Lives

1
We Must Accept Responsibility For Our Lives
2
Goals

• To clarify what full responsibility means
• To understand that accepting responsibility for
  ones actions and reactions is a prerequisite of
  vision therapy and living a full human life
• To learn that accepting responsibility for our
  lives leads to a higher self-esteem and maturity

3
Full Responsibility

• What is full responsibility?
• In what way is this concept an integral part of
  the assumption and thesis of vision therapy?

4
Full Responsibility

• Full responsibility
• acknowledging that there is something inside me
  on which all my actions, responses, and reactions
  to the various stimulations and situations of
  life are based.
• Other people or situations merely stimulate my
  response, but do not determine my specific
  reaction

5
Transactional Analysis theory of Programming

• Inside each one of us, there are three psyche
  parts.

6
Full Responsibility
7
What Determines Who We Are?

• Projecting the concerns and character weaknesses
  of people giving the input rather than accurately
  reflecting what we are. (Social Mirror)
• Do our genes determine us (Genetic determination)
• Does your childhood experiences determine you?
  (Psychic determinism)
• Does your environment determine who you are?
  (Environmental determinism)

8
The last of human freedoms - to determine your
attitude and response in circumstance

• Victor Frankl
• Founder of Logotherapy

9
Between Stimulus and Response
Between stimulus and response we have freedom to
choose
Freedom
STIMULUS
RESPONSE
We are graced with four human endowments
self-awareness, imagination, conscience, and
independent will
10
Four Human Endowments
Self-Awareness The ability to examine attitdes
to determine they are principle-based
Independent Will The ability to act based on our
self-awareness
Response
Stimulus
Imagination Ability to create in our minds
beyond our present reality
ConscienceA deep inner awareness of principles
that govern our behavior
11
Full Responsibility defined

• We are responsible for our own lives
• Our behavior is a function of our decisions
• We can subordinate our feelings into values
• We have the initiative and the responsibility to
  make things happen

12
How do you respond to these stimuli?

• The environment does the weather affect your
  attitudes and performance?
• The social environment do rude, obnoxious people
  easily stimulate anger?

13
Reactive and Proactive Behaviors

• Reactive
• Are easily offended
• Blame others
• Get angry and say things they later regret
• Whine and complain
• Wait for opportunities to come to them
• Change only when they have to

• Proactive
• Are not easily offended
• Take responsibility for their choices
• Think before they act
• Bounce back when something bad happens
• Seek and create opportunities
• Focus on things they can do something about

14
Circle of Concern (No Control)
politics
relatives
poverty
Circle of Concern
weather
crimes
teachers
colleagues
National debt
Problems at work
15
Circle of Influence
Reactive people focus efforts in circle of concern
Proactive people focus on circle of influence
Circle of Concern
Focus on peoples weaknesses, problems in
environment circum-stances out of their control
Circle of Influence
They work on the things that they can do
something about
16
Proactive Focus positive energy enlarges the
Circle of Influence
Focus on TO BE
Circle of Influence
17
Reactions

• Growth begins where blaming ends
• Besides our attitudes, what else inside of you
  and me causes us to react or act?

18
Benefits of being an owner, not a blamer
Benefits of Owners
Happiness Growth Self-Knowledge
19
Expanding the Circle of Influence Use the 4
Human Endowments

• Use self-awareness and conscience
• Change yourself work on to be the kind of
  person you want to be.
• Become aware of areas of weaknesses, areas for
  improvement, areas of talents you could develop.

• Use imagination and independent will
• Make promises
• Set goals and be true to them
• Build the strength of character needed to be
  effective.

20
2 Ways of Putting Ourselves in Control of Our
Lives

• Make promises and keep them.
• Set a goal work to achieve them.
• Work only in your Circle of Influence by making
  small commitments and keeping them.

• Be a light, not a judge
• Be a model, not a critic
• Be part of the solution, not the problem
• Determine your free response in daily stimuli

21
Assignment

• Read Chapter 10, We Must Try to Fulfill Our Needs
  for Relaxation, Exercise, and Nourishment