Communication

1
Chapter 8

• Communication
• A.     Be aware when you are receiver and when
  you are sender
• B.      Encoding Putting thoughts into words.
• C.     Decoding Person takes words and
  translates them into own experience.

2
Chapter 8

• Listening
• A.     Be quiet
• B.      Maintain eye contact
• C.     Display openness
• D.     Listen without response
• E.      Send acknowledgments (minimal qualifiers)

3
Chapter 8

• Verbal Listening
• A.     Feedback meaning
• B.      Listen beyond words (Be aware of
  nonverbals)
• C.     Take care of yourself
• D.     Listen for requests and intentions (hidden
  complaints)

4
Chapter 8

• Sending
• A.     "I's" have it (avoid using word you)
• B.      Questions not always questions (sneak in
  opinions)
• C.     Notice non-verbals (voice tone, gestures,
  posture, etc.)
• D.     Notice barriers to sending (assumptions,
  excuses, fear, predictions of failure)

5
Chapter 8

• Five ways to say "I
• Observations
• Feelings
• Wants
• Thoughts
• Intentions

6
Chapter 8

• Conflict Management
• A.     State the problem openly (thoughts,
  feelings, and actions)
• B.      Focus on solutions (quantity not quality.
  Brainstorm ideas)
• C.     Understand all points of view
• D.     Step back from conflict (Detach)
• E.      Let it get worse before it gets better
• F.      Just speak
• G.     Commit to relationship
• H.     Back up to common ground
• I.         Listen for request in complaints
  (listen for request behind the complaint)
• J.        Slow down communication
• K.     Be a complete listener

• Get to point and elaborate
• Recap message
• Use mediator
• Allow for cultural differences
• Apologize or ask for forgiveness
• Write a letter and send it
• Write a letter an don't send it
• Permit emotion (crying and anger are ok)
• Videotape the disagreement (good for feedback)
• Agree to disagree
• Do nothing
• See conflict within you
•  

7
Chapter 8

• Relationship Do's
• 1.     Tell truth
• 2.     Support others
• 3.     Divide chores
• 4.     Write a letter
• 5.     Get involved
• 6.     Detach
• 7.     Allow for others to be upset
• 8.     Ask for help
• 9.     Share yourself

8
Chapter 8

• Relationship Don'ts
• 1.     Dont pry
• 2.     Don't borrow too much
• 3.     Don't gripe
• 4.     Don't brag
• 5.     Don't preach

9
Chapter 8

• Relationships Change
• A.     Grow and die
• B.      People leave
• C.     Pain is natural part of living
• D.     Ways to deal with changes
• Pity party
• Studying extra hours
• Do something (exercise, clean, etc.)
• Do things with other people
• Write about your feelings
• Talk to friends and family about feelings
•  

10
Chapter 8

• Seven steps to effective complaints
• A.     Go to source (start with person directly
  involved)
• B.      Present facts without blame
• C.     Go up ladder to people with more
  responsibility
• D.     Ask for commitments
• E.      Use available support
• F.      Legal action
• G.     Don't give up

11
Chapter 8

• Constructive Criticism
• A.     Avoid finding fault
• B.      Take it seriously
• C.     React to criticism with acceptance
• D.     Keep it in perspective
• E.      Listen without defensiveness

12
Chapter 8

• Writing (Creating Something from Nothing)
• 1. List and schedule writing tasks
• A. Break into smaller goals
• B. Start with day paper is due and work
  backwards

13
Chapter 8

• Writing
• 1.     Generate ideas for topic
• a.      Brainstorm with group (more the merrier)
• b.     Speak it
• c.     Use free writing write for specified
  amount of time without stopping

14
Chapter 8

• Writing
• 1.     Refine Ideas
• a.     Select a topic and working title (write
  about what interests you)
• b.     Write a thesis (helps to make an outline)

15
Chapter 8

• Other Suggestions for Beginning to Write
• 1.     Consider your purpose
• 2.     Do initial research
• 3.     Outline
• 4.     Do in-depth research
• 5.     Use index cards

16
Chapter 8

•   Getting it down (writing the first draft)
• 1.     Remember the first one is not for keeps
  (dont worry about grammar, spelling,
  punctuation, etc.)
• 2.     Write freely (avoid stopping)
• 3.     Be yourself (don't try to sound too
  scholarly or official. Use your own words)
• 4.     Let inner writer take over
• 5.     Ease into it
• 6.     Make writing a habit (schedule time to
  write and re-write)
• 7.     Respect your deep mind
• 8.     Get physical
• 9.     Use affirmations and visualizations
• 10.Hid it in your drawer for a while (usually re
  do papers 2-3 times)

17
Chapter 8

• Polishing your creation (Revising your draft)
• Cut
• Paste
• Fix
• Prepare (citations)
• Proof

18
Chapter 8

• Plagarism Using another person's words without
  giving proper credit
• A.     Can fail or expel you from school
• B.      Quotations
• C.     Citations and references at the end of
  paper
• D.     Paraphrasing

19
Chapter 8

• Speeches
• A.     Organizing your speech (consider purpose
  of it and audience)
• B.      Introduction (make clear where you are
  going with speech)
• C.     Main Body (70-90)
• D.     Conclusion (summarize points)
• E.      Using notes (index cards, only one sheet
  of paper)

20
Chapter 8

• Ways to practice a Speech
• 1.     In room where you are going to do speech
• 2.     Record it
• 3.     Practice in front of a mirror
• 4.     Use stress reduction techniques
• 5.     Avoid memorizing

21
Chapter 8

• Delivering the speech
• 1.     Picture audience as clowns
• 2.     Speak loudly
• 3.     Don't lean on podium
• 4.     Maintain eye contact
• 5.     Time yourself
• 6.     Be aware of nervousness and nonverbals

22
Chapter 8

• Power Process 8 Employ your word
• A.     Your word makes things happen
• 1.     Who you are is result of the choices and
  agreements you've made
• B.      The worlds works by agreement (Agreements
  minimize confusion)
• C.     Relationships work by agreement (with
  ourself and others)
• D.     Ways to make and keep agreements
• 1.     Be cautious
• 2.     Take risks
• 3.     Be gentle when breaking agreements
• 4.     Examining our agreements

• Move up the ladder of powerful speaking
• Obligation should, ought to, must, etc.
• Possibility play with new ideas, solutions, and
  alternative course of action
• Preference choices
• Passion
• Planning intentions, goals, plans, etc.
• Promising commitment

23
Chapter 8

• Greg Louganis
• A.     4 time Olympic gold medallist in diving
• B.      Discriminated against because of Samoan
  heritage, dyslexic, substance abuse, sexual
  orientation, domestic violence, and AIDS'
• C.     Wrote and published his own autiobiography