GIRLS RELATIONSHIPS

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GIRLS RELATIONSHIPS
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what worries you

• Should I get involved in my daughters arguments
  with her friends ? Is it bullying ? Should I
  inform the school ?
• How much freedom should I give my daughter ?
• She has lied to me about where she was going /
  with whom. How do I deal with it ?
• She has told me something in confidence, what do
  I do ?
• Should I worry if my daughter is not invited to
  an outing/party/sleepover ?

importance of physical exercise
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girls relationships

• with their friends
• other girls
• boys
• at home
• at school

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early adolescence

• start of the journey
• leave behind everything that feels secure
• decrease in self-esteem and confidence
• speed of body change outstrips any emotional
  preparation

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relationships with other girls

• primary influences
• BFF
• intensity
• fall outs

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cliques and groups

• difference
• role of cliques
• advantages
• disadvantages
• strict social hierarchy
• strict rules
• differential power and status within a clique
• outside the clique
• striving for inclusion

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popularity

• influence
• being popular ? having close friends
• decrease in interest in academic achievements
• highest status often linked to looks and physical
  maturity

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puberty

• physical development
• attracts boys attention / jealousy
• sexual pressure

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boys

• boy friends vs boyfriends
• break up
• values

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parenting

• your daughter will have to stand up for herself
  with your support but without your physical
  presence
• your daughter will make poor choices, behave in
  cruel ways and or be on the receiving end of both
• lying / sneaking

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• practise what you preach
• if you make a mistake and dont own up to it
  dont expect her to hold herself accountable
• if you refuse to apologise shell be
  self-righteous
• demonstrate respect rather than just talk about
  it
• stay involved in your daughters life

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school

• changes in personality vs home
• what parenting and teaching have in common
• set limits
• holding girls accountable when those limits are
  broken
• girls are masters at convincing themselves that
  their bad behaviour is a result of someone elses
  actions

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bullying

• covert, manipulative behaviour / through others
• stealing friends
• excluding / who is in and who is out
• spreading rumours / gossip
• tone of voice, body language, facial expression
• academic success
• looks
• bystanders / 3 way
• telling
• peer mentoring / someone to talk to

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• it is critical that your daughter understands the
  difference between
• her actions and her personality,
• what she can and cannot change

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final thoughts

• high self-esteem is the best protection we can
  give our girls
• role-models
• teach girls to take risks
• physical skills
• teach girls to fail
• lessons in life

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books for reference

• PREUSCHOFF, G., Raising Girls
• BESAG, V. Understanding girls friendships.
  fights and feuds
• DEAK, J. Girls will be Girls
• WISEMAN, R. Queen Bees and Wannabes helping
  your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends
  and other realities of adolescence