THE FAMILY MINISTRY

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• THE FAMILY MINISTRY
• of Lutheran Schools

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FAMILY

• The Basic Building Block of Society

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It is the tasks connected with the home that are
the fundamental tasks of humanity.... We can get
along for the time being with an inferior quality
of success in other lines, political or
business...because if there are failings in such
matters we can make them good in the next
generation but if the mother does not do her
duty, there will either be no next generation or
a generation that is worse than no generation at
all.... Every rightly constituted woman or man,
if he or she is worth his or her salt, must feel
that there is no such ample reward to be found
anywhere in life as the reward...of a happy
family life. Theodore Roosevelt
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Unless we work to strengthen the family, to
create conditions under which most parents will
stay together all the rest schools and
playgrounds, and public assistance, and private
concern, will never be enough to cut completely
the circle of despair and deprivation. Lyndon
B. Johnson
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Strong families are the foundations of society.
Through them we pass on our traditions, rituals,
and values. From them we receive the love,
encouragement and education needed to meet human
challenges. Family life provides opportunities
and time for the spiritual growth that fosters
generosity of spirit and responsible
citizenship...I dont believe you can have a
strong, healthy nation without the family unit as
its very base. As the family goes, so goes the
nation. Ronald Reagan
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Parents who know their childrens teachers and
help with the homework and teach their kids right
from wrong these parents can make all the
difference. Bill Clinton
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The American family is the rock on which a solid
education can be built. I have seen examples all
over this nation where two-parent families,
single families, stepparents, grandparents,
aunts, and uncles are providing strong family
support for their children to learn. If families
teach the love of learning, it can make all the
difference in the world to their
children. Richard Riley U.S. Secretary of
Education
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Most certainly father and mother are apostles,
bishops, and priests to their children, for it is
they who make them acquainted with the Gospel.
In short, there is no greater or nobler authority
on earth than that of parents over their
children, for this authority is both spiritual
and temporal. Whoever teaches the Gospel is
truly a bishop or apostle. Martin
Luther Estate of Marriage
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You should also take pains to urge governing
authorities and parents to rule wisely and
educate their children.... Make very plain to
them the shocking evils they introduce when they
refuse their aid in the training of children...it
is necessary to preach about such things. The
extent to which parents and governing authorities
sin in this respect is beyond telling. Martin
Luther Preface to
the Small Catechism, 1529
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Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with
all your soul, and with all your strength. Take
to heart these words that I give you today.
Repeat them to your children. Talk about them
when youre at home or away, when you lie down or
when you get up. Write them down, and tie them
around your wrist, and wear them as headbands as
a reminder. Write them on the door frames of your
house and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6 1-9
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Wouldnt it be great . . .

• . . . if your school had perfect families?

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Families that . . .

• conducted family devotions regularly
• prayed together often
• memorized Scripture and the Confessions
• affirmed one another continually
• and lived out their faith to all they met?

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Wouldnt it be great to turn the clock back to
1955 when...
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• PRESIDENT V.P. Eisenhower Nixon
• NEW PRODUCTS Legos, Velcro, Crest, Dacron
• NEW RESTAURANT Kentucky Fried Chicken
• NEW TV SHOWS Honeymooners, Gunsmoke
• NEW 3 BEDROOM HOME 10,950
• NEW FORD THUNDERBIRD 1,800
• GALLON OF GASOLINE 29
• AVERAGE INCOME 4,421 per year
• FAMOUS GUY BORN Jeffery S. Schubert

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Missing in Homes

• Cable/Satellite TV Video Games
• Color Televisions Walk Mans
• Solid state components Miniature Calculators
• Microwave Ovens Cassette Tapes
• Push button telephones Laser Disc Movies
• Video Cassette Recorders Home Theatre Systems
• Personal Computers Home Surveillance Systems
• Answering Machines Central Vacuum Systems
• Compact Disc Players Radon Reduction Systems
• Cell phones Computer controlled thermostats
• Personal Pagers Trash Compactors
• TRADITIONAL FAMILIES 60 of the U.S. Population

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But that was Then. This is NOW

• Today, the traditional nuclear family is 7 of
  the total population.
• 3,000 kids a day are seeing their parents
  divorce.
• 2 parent families account for only 36 of all
  family households.
• 40 of kids tonight will go to bed in a home
  where their father is not present.
• 4.7 million children are living with a
  grandparent.
• The average child will see 23,000 hours of TV
  before high school graduation.

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• There are 3.5 million unmarried couple
  households. This is seven times larger than the
  number of unmarried couple households in 1970.
• Every day in America, 40 teenage girls are giving
  birth to their 3rd child.
• The average child has more parents than the
  average parent has children.
• 60 of Americans believe that absolute truth
  cannot be known.

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Health of American Family in steep decline

• US Census Bureau data paints a bleak picture of
  the traditional two-parent family in America.
  All the positive indicators of healthy family
  life are in sharp decline
• first time marrieds
• children born to married mothers
• children living with two parents
• family size
• fertility rate

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• All the negative indicators are seeing explosive
  growth.
• never marrieds
• divorce
• cohabitation
• illegitimacy
• children living with one parent
• The data covers the past 25 years

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Your school families are not immune

• Materialism, Consumerism, Increased Affluence
• Unchristian Values in the Media
• Lack of Commitment To Lifelong Marriage
• Health Care, Aging, and Medical Issues
• Devaluation of Life
• Substance Abuse Addiction
• Domestic Violence, Verbal, Emotional, and
  Physical
• Lack of Quality Family Time

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• Financial Stress
• Poor Inter-Family Communication
• Poor Conflict Resolution Skills
• Poor Parenting Skills
• Wrong Family Priorities
• Sexual Immorality
• Lack of Spirituality in Families
• Satan, the World, and Our Flesh!

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Your school families have undergone major
transformations over the last several
decades

• Traditional Nuclear Families
• Working Couple Households
• Blended Families
• Single Parent Households
• Serial Marriages
• Extended Family Households
• Cohabiting Couples
• Interracial Households
• Spiritually Mixed Homes
• Homosexual Households

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Family structures are so diverse, even the
experts struggle to define the word
family
Two or more persons related by birth, marriage,
or adoption who reside in the same
household. Census Bureau
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Family is defined in terms of the exclusivity
and longevity of a relationship the level of
emotional and financial commitment to one
another how the couple conducts their everyday
lives and holds themselves in society and the
reliance placed upon one another for daily
services. State of New York Supreme Court
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A family can be measured by the things it should
do for its members these functions include
maintain the physical health and safety of its
members help shape a belief system of goals and
values teach social skills an create a place
for recuperation from external stresses.
State of California Task Force on the Future of
the Family
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A fundamental social group in society typically
consisting of a man and woman and their
offspring...Two or more people who share goals
and values, have long-term commitments to one
another, and reside usually in the same dwelling
place....All the members of a household under one
roof...A group of persons sharing common
ancestry. The American Heritage
Dictionary Third Edition, 1992
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You can call homosexual households families,
and you can define family any way that you want
to, but you cant fool Mother Nature. A family
is a mommy and a daddy and their
children. Midge Decter, Social Critic
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We may not be able to define a family, but we
know one when we see it. Potter Stewart Former
U.S. Supreme Court Justice
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Research has shown that a familys spiritual
commitment is directly proportional to its
strength

• 3,000 strong families were interviewed in 1986
  by Nick Stinnett
• Six Major Qualities Emerged
• Qualities were a result of deliberate intention
  and practice

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• Strong families are committed to making the
  family work.
• Strong families spend quality and quantity time
  together.
• Strong families have effective communications.
• Strong families express appreciation to each
  other.
• Strong families are able to solve problems in a
  crisis.
• Strong families have a strong spiritual commitment

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A study conducted by sociologist Steven Nock of
the University of Virginia showed that couples
who attend church regularly are 42 more likely
to be married for the first time and had a 23
better chance of having a happy marriage than
non-attendees.
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Research has again demonstrated that when
schools and family partner with one
another...

• students are more motivated in school and more
  committed to continuing education beyond high
  school.
• students are less likely to experience various
  problems in school.
• students alcohol use, violence, and anti-social
  behaviors decrease.

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• students will be more involved in extracurricular
  and non-school activities.
• students get better grades and test scores.
• students graduate from high school at higher
  rates.
• teacher morale and job satisfaction is increased.

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Partnering with families through the Lutheran
School is critical because...

• as the parent is, so will be the child.
• parents are the most effective teachers.
• parents teach religion whether they know it or
  not.
• children are imitators.

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What Is Family Ministry?
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Family Ministry Is...

• Evangelism
• Discipling
• Relating Scripture to everyday life
• Enriching strong families
• Preventing future problems
• Intervening during points of crisis
• Bringing healing and peace through Jesus

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Family Ministry Defined
Family ministry is a focus on serving families
regardless of structure, as well as serving the
entire family of the congregation. Insights,
1986
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Family ministry is serving people wherever they
are in the life cycle, whatever stage they are
in, whatever their situation is. Rev. Ron
Brusius Former LCMS Director of Family Ministry
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For me, it is Home Centered Church Supported
Ministry, that enables the home to be the center
of faith formation. Ben Freudenberg DCE
Directions, Fall 1997
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Family Ministry
A Church and Home Partnership
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Touching Families through Your School

• Key Points to Remember

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• Keep the focus on Jesus Christ. Youre not the
  YMCA
• Pray for your families regularly.
• Ministry to families means getting involved
  beyond the security of your facility.
• Ministry to families requires passion and hard
  work.
• Begin with one family first Yours!

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• Strive to strengthen your facultys families as
  well.
• Remember that the typical family isnt typical.
• You will not be able to meet every familys
  needs. Nor should you!
• The home must always be the primary agency for
  faith formation.
• Keep your eyes and ears open to the cry of
  families.

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• Cultivate personal relationships with your
  students families.
• Communicate often using a variety of methods.
• Demonstrate Christ-Care to each students
  parent(s).
• Strive to be intentional, not accidental in
  ministry to families. Strategically plan your
  ministry to them.

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• Use your existing programs as platforms to do
  family ministry (i.e. PTL meetings home visits
  conferences)
• Capitalize on wet cement moments... family
  milestones.
• Determine if your schools programming is
  unintentionally detrimental to family life.
• Remember that family ministry is more an attitude
  than it is a program.

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• Offer the support mechanism of small groups
  around the Word of God and prayer.
• Grant teacher in-service opportunities in Family
  Ministry.
• Find a need and fill it.
• Invite your community to participate in
  family-friendly events in your school.

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• Establish a diverse network of family ministry
  people, products, and programs.
• Customize! No single model will work in every
  school.
• Strive to assist homes to become grace places.
• Remember how a juggler learns!

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• Make parents feel at home in your school. Create
  a family climate for them.
• Involve families in decisions and policy. Grant
  them ownership.
• Expect disappointment, but dont give up.
• Practical ideas for Family Ministry are only
  limited by your imagination.

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Practical Ideas for Experimentation
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A Concluding Word...

• ...about Serving Families in Jesus Name