Single Parenting

1
Single Parenting the College Student

• Designed by Regina Crews
• Secretary of Student Support Services

2

• Single parenting is a great challenge and even
  more so when you have to juggle time for school
  with time to work and be a parent.
• Working full time while attending school full
  time can be overwhelming, especially when
  everything is due at once.
• Women who are students, mothers, and economic
  providers frequently struggle to balance the
  conflicting demands of these roles.
• Despite creative time management strategies, many
  women feel torn between devoting the required
  amount of time to their school work and spending
  time with their kids.
• The time commitment required of students who are
  also mothers frequently conflict which causes a
  mother to carry an overwhelming guilt that she is
  being selfish and robbing her children of
  appropriate nurturing.

3

• The obstacles facing single parents who are also
  college students are formidable. In addition to
  their student and parenting responsibilities,
  they are also typically the sole financial
  providers of their families. Most are part-time
  employees in addition to being full-time students
  and mothers.
• While they are often stressed by the competing
  demands of these multiple roles, they also
  benefit by acting as an example for their
  children by pursuing their educational goals.
• Single parents can be left very distracted by
  sick children or concern for a teenager, making
  it difficult to concentrate on a lecture or to
  focus on studying.

4

• By far, the most frequent difficulty facing
  single mothers who are college students is the
  stress of juggling school and parenting
  responsibilities.
• Child care is an important concern for all
  working parents, and a critical issue for single
  parents who are students. Even the most
  carefully planned child care arrangements can be
  disrupted by a childs illness.
• Bringing your child to class with you because
  he/she is ill or because a caregiver did not show
  up is far from ideal, but it is better than
  missing classes and receiving a failing grade.

5
Choosing Child Care

• Find out what kinds of child care are available
  in-home care, before- and after-school care,
  child care centers, family daycare homes, co-ops,
  share care, employer/college sponsored child care
• Visit as many caregivers as possible
• Decide which caregiver and setting is best for
  your child
• Communicate regularly with the caregiver and your
  child

6
How to Find Good Child Care

• Ask for information from
• Social Service Organizations
• Local and State Government Agencies
• Churches
• Colleges
• Neighbors and Co-workers
• Local Womens Groups
• Community Organizations such as The United Way
• YMCA and YWCA
• Girls and Boys Clubs
• Doctors and Public Health Clinics
• Child Care Information and Referral Agencies
• Employer Personnel Office
• Call the Child Care Aware Information Line at
  1-800-424-2246 for the phone numbers of child
  care referral agencies in your area.

7
Making the Decision

• Youll need to consider
• Who will give your child the best care. A good
  caregiver should really enjoy working with
  children, talk supportively with children, have
  training and experience caring for children, be
  licensed and insured.
• How much can you afford to pay?
• What hours care is available.
• Where your child will be the safest and
  healthiest. A proper setting should have room
  to play both indoors and out, space for sleeping
  and eating, a variety of creative toys and
  equipment that are in good shape and are safe.
• Which caregiver has activities that your child
  will enjoy and benefit from. There should be a
  variety of activities that are appropriate for
  childrens age levels. Children should be able
  to participate in activities directed by the
  caregiver such as, music, art, etc. Children
  should be allowed free play time.
• Trust your feelings. If you have any doubts,
  make a second visit or keep
• looking.

8
A Written Agreement is a Must!

• If the caregiver doesnt have a standard form,
  then make one up together. Your agreement should
  state
• Costs
• Daily routine
• What will be done in emergencies
• Days and hours care will be given
• Caregivers responsibilities
• Parents responsibilities

9
Getting Used to Child Care

• You can help make it easier on yourself and your
  child if you
• Talk with your child about what child care will
  be like.
• Allow plenty of time in the mornings to get
  ready.
• Let your child bring a favorite toy or a
  security blanket.
• Spend time at the setting to allow your child to
  get used to the caregiver while youre still
  there.
• Always say goodbye to your child and tell him/her
  when youll return.
• Have a positive attitude. If you feel good about
  your child care arrangement, usually your child
  will, too.
• Plan for backup. Ask friends and family ahead of
  time if they will care for your child when your
  caregiver cannot.

10

• Is there an ideal age for starting child care?
  Children of all ages can do well in a good
  child-care situation. But you know your child
  best and how best to meet the needs of your
  family.
• Is it normal to feel guilty about using child
  care? Yes, feeling guilty occasionally is normal.
  But a good child care arrangement will reassure
  you that your child is being cared for properly.
• Will child care affect my relationship with my
  child? That depends on you. Children sometimes
  become attached to their caregivers, but parents
  always come first in a childs life.

11
Ask for Help Managing Your Time

• The whole family can share housework and reduce
  the stress on any single family member.
• Ask others to pitch in. Let family members
  choose chores, or rotate chores every week or
  month. Discuss your expectations beforehand and
  try not to be critical of others best efforts.
• Encourage personal responsibility. Everyone can
  pick up his/her belongings, clean up after using
  the kitchen or bath, pick up dirty clothes and
  put away clean clothes.
• Start Children early. Children enjoy helping
  adults and it helps build their self-esteem.
• Develop a family calendar to avoid time
  conflicts. Mark all appointments, meetings and
  special family occasions. Post the calendar
  where everyone can use it.
• Ease the morning rush by preparing the night
  before. For example you could bathe or shower,
  ask children to set the breakfast table, prepare
  lunches, and decide what to wear.
• Establish a routine to help family members use
  their time and energy wisely. Remember to
  include fun time in your schedule.
• Plan time with each child every day. Even though
  schedules may be tight, giving your undivided
  attention can help children feel good about
  themselves.
• Take time for yourself when you feel rested and
  relaxed, youre better able to meet family, job
  and school responsibilities. A few minutes alone
  can make a big difference.

12
Make Mealtime a Special Time

• Eat together often. Try to share several meals a
  week. Give each family member a chance to talk
  about his or her day. Stress the importance of
  being together at mealtime.
• Let everyone help. Members will enjoy meals more
  if they help prepare them. Also, early
  experience in the kitchen will benefit children
  as they grow older.
• Plan meals ahead of time. Try to do all your
  shopping in one trip a week. Cook extra at every
  meal and freeze leftovers. Eating right doesnt
  have to mean hours in the kitchen for every meal

13
Learn to Manage Your Money Wisely

• Figure out your monthly income. Include your pay
  after taxes and any other sources of income, such
  as child support and financial aid.
• Add up your monthly expenses. Include rent or
  mortgage payments, insurance, child care
  expenses, loan and credit card payments, utility
  bills, food, clothing, transportation and college
  expenses.
• Subtract your expenses from your income. If your
  expenses are greater than your income, you need
  to cut back. Keep track of your expenses in a
  notebook for a month or two. This will help make
  it easier to find areas you can cut back on.
• Shop carefully. Compare prices. Buy generic or
  store brands, if possible. Buy items when they
  are on sale. Use coupons.
• Save energy. Find ways to lower your utility
  bills. For example turn off lights that arent
  in use, take short showers instead of baths, wash
  clothes in cold or warm water instead of hot,
  turn the heat down when you sleep, ask your local
  utility company about getting a home energy
  audit.
• Find inexpensive ways to have fun . For example
  you and your child could go for a walk, visit a
  park, play a board or card game.
• Think about the future. Set a realistic savings
  goal. Try to save some money each month.

14
Reach Out for the Support You Need

• There are people and places that can help. All
  you have to do is ask!
• Friends and family can be valuable sources of
  support. They may also be able to help with
  child care or other family duties.
• Community and government agencies can provide
  financial and medical assistance if you qualify.
  They can also refer you to other sources of help.
• Religious or community groups can provide
  guidance and companionship.
• Programs for single parents can help you learn to
  manage stress and gain new skills.
• Other sources of help include mental health
  centers and employee/student assistance programs.

15
Single Parenting is Challenging, But Very
Rewarding!!

• While a college degree does not guarantee a job
  and comfortable lifestyle, it is still the best
  avenue toward these goals.
• In addition to its significance for economic
  independence, most women value education as an
  opportunity for personal growth. They also hope
  that their educational aspirations and
  attainments will inspire similar goals in their
  children. Single mothers believe that modeling
  the value they place on education has important
  implications not only for themselves, but for
  their children as well.
• Though the challenges are many, the rewards can
  be great, including the increased earning power
  of a college degree, setting an excellent
  example, and seeing your children grow into
  responsible, healthy individuals.

16

• This workshop was designed to help single
  parents
• Understand the special concerns of single
  parenthood and how to deal with them.
• Maintain a positive outlook.
• Seek help whenever you need it.
• You can succeed as a single parent!

17

• Thank you for your participation in this
  workshop. We hope you found it helpful. Do not
  forget to complete an Academic Enrichment Summary
  so that we may document your participation. If
  you are viewing this workshop via the internet
  please come by the Student Support Services
  office to complete an Academic Enrichment Summary
  or you may click on the link in the directions
  box on the Workshops page and print one out or
  e-mail it to rcrews_at_wallace.edu so that we may
  document your participation. Handouts available
  upon request.
• Exit