Staff Development Conflict Transformation

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Staff Development Conflict Transformation

• Christine L. Whitley

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Last workshop

• The link between your perceptions and your
  quality of life (coping with anxiety)
• Recommendations to enjoy even more your job just
  questioning your perceptions!

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(No Transcript)
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social identity
Attribution
To feel part of a larger whole
explain the causes of behavior
social perception
Stereotype
Follows many of the same laws that govern the
perception of objects
Schemas about entire groups of people
Attitude
Schemas and roles
tendency to think, feel, or act positively or
negatively toward objects in our environment
What we know and expect about the world
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Outline for this session

• Why do we need conflicts?
• What are the hidden potentials of conflicts?
• How to use conflict efficiently?

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Why do we need conflicts?

• A condition that exits when two sets of demands,
  goals or motives are incompatible. (Dubrin 2005)
• In finding constructive responses to violent
  conflict, I became increasingly convinced that
  much of what I was doing was seeking constructive
  change.
• John Paul Lederach

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Why do we need conflicts?

• By Louis Kriesberg

Attention! Transforming the conflict does not
mean to win the battle faster.
High costs in time, money, resources, energy, etc.
http//www.beyondintractability.org/essay/conflict
_emergence/
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What are the hidden potentials of conflicts?

• The personal dimension
• You as a person (cognition, beliefs, perceptions,
  opinions, memories)
• The relational dimension
• The relationship (emotions, power, and
  interdependence, and the communicative and
  interactive aspects)
• The structural dimension
• social, economic, and institutional relationships
  to meet basic human needs and provide access to
  resources and decision-making
• The cultural dimension
• Learned and shared system of knowledge, beliefs,
  values, attitudes and norms (Dubrin, 2005)

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Drive Reduction Theory
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Why do we need conflicts?

• Frustration signals the error in the
  trial-and-error process by which we dialectically
  adjust our perspectives to external powers and
  potentialities
• When progress toward a goal is blocked and the
  underlying tension unresolved, we speak of
  frustration.

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Survival
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What are the hidden potentials of conflicts?
Only when a conflict is approached as an
opportunity for change!

• problem solving
• negotiation
• mediation
• conciliation
• creative problem-solving
• increased dialogue
• and nonviolent mechanisms of social change

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You or me?
Can I win or would I loose?
What is my attitude?
What do I risk?
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How to use conflict efficiently?

• Dont try to solve the conflict
• Try to understand the underlying frustrations

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How to use conflict efficiently?

• empathic listening 
•   observations     
• feelings     
• needs     
• requests 
• honestly expressing
• observations     
• feelings     
• needs     
• requests     

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How do you feel?

• AFRAID apprehensive dread foreboding
  frightened mistrustful panicked petrified scared
  suspicious terrified wary worriedANNOYED
  aggravated dismayed disgruntled displeased
  exasperated frustrated impatient irritated irked
  
• ANGRY enraged furious incensed indignant
  irate livid outraged resentful
• AVERSION animosity appalled contempt disgusted
  dislike hate horrified hostile repulsedCONFUSED
  ambivalent baffled bewildered dazed hesitant
  lost mystified perplexed puzzled
  tornDISCONNECTED alienated aloof apathetic
  bored cold detached distant distracted
  indifferent numb removed uninterested
  withdrawnDISQUIET agitated alarmed
  discombobulated disconcerted disturbed perturbed
  rattled restless shocked startled surprised
  troubled turbulent turmoil uncomfortable uneasy
  unnerved unsettled upset
• EMBARRASSED ashamed chagrined flustered guilty
  mortified self-conscious
• FATIGUE beat burnt out depleted exhausted
  lethargic listless sleepy tired weary worn
  outPAIN agony anguished bereaved devastated
  grief heartbroken hurt lonely miserable regretful
  remorsefulSAD depressed dejected despair
  despondent disappointed discouraged disheartened
  forlorn gloomy heavy hearted hopeless melancholy
  unhappy wretchedTENSE anxious cranky
  distressed distraught edgy fidgety frazzled
  irritable jittery nervous overwhelmed restless
  stressed out
• VULNERABLE fragile guarded helpless insecure
  leery reserved sensitive shakyYEARNING envious
  jealous longing nostalgic pining wistful

http//www.cnvc.org/feelings.htm
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What do you need?

• CONNECTIONacceptance affection appreciation
  belonging cooperation communication closeness
  community companionship compassion consideration
  consistency empathy inclusion intimacy love
  mutuality nurturing respect/self-respect safety
  security stability support to know and be known
  to see and be seen to understand and  be
  understood trust warmth
• HONESTYauthenticity integrity presence
• PLAYjoy humor
• PEACEbeauty communion ease equality harmony
  inspiration order
• PHYSICAL WELL-BEINGair food movement/exercise
  rest/sleep sexual expression safety shelter touch
  water
• MEANINGawareness celebration of life challenge
  clarity competence consciousness contribution
  creativity discovery efficacy effectiveness
  growth hope learning mourning participation
  purpose self-expression
  stimulation to matter understanding
• AUTONOMYchoice freedom independence space
  spontaneity

http//www.cnvc.org/needs.htm
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How to use conflict efficiently?

• empathic listening 
•   observations     
• feelings     
• needs     
• requests 
• honestly expressing
• observations     
• feelings     
• needs     
• requests     

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Addressing Conflict and Confrontation Effectively
(Corey Corey, 2006)

• Recognize that conflict can be a healthy sign of
  individual differences and an integral part of a
  good relationship.
• See confrontation as a caring act, not an attack
  on the other person.
• Resist the temptation to plan your next response
  while the other person is speaking to you.
• If you do confront a person, identify your
  motivation.
• Accept responsibility for your own feelings.
• In confronting another, try not to make dogmatic
  statements about the other person.
• Tell others how you are struggling with them.
• Dont walk away from conflict.
• Recognize the importance of forgiving others who
  have hurt you.
• Recognize that it is essential to forgive
  yourself.

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Outline for this session

• Why do we need conflicts?
• What are the hidden potentials of conflicts?
• How to use conflict efficiently?

Happy New Year 2007!
Thank you for your attention!
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Resources

• http//www.beyondintractability.org/essay/transfor
  mation/
• http//www.cnvc.org/
• Dubrin A. J (2005) Human Relations, Career and
  Personal Success. New Jersey Pearson Prentice
  Hall
• Corey, G Corey M. S.(2006) I never knew I had a
  choice, explorations in personal growth. Belmont,
  CA Thomson Brooks/Cole
• http//www.hawaii.edu/powerkills/CIP.CHAP3.HTM
• http//www.nybeta.com/html/insights_1999_June_3.ht
  m