A Look Backwards

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Every one of us, at one time or another, has been
harangued in a horrible fashion. Ranting and
raging by an adult or significant other may seem
like a burden to bear, but mean words and shouts
are painful and may have long-term, negative
results. Plus how effective is sermonizing and
criticizing? It rarely changes a behavior since
as the yelling overpowers us, we are deflated and
defeated with little redemption possible and both
ears turned onto to self-preservation mode. Some
of my readers will respond, "But I fight back! No
one attacks me without having a price to pay!"
While I might temporarily admire your ability to
stand up and be heard, in the long run a return
harangue infrequently produces positive change or
better understanding. Instead it seems to create
unbridgeable gaps and lingering anger and hurt
feelings, although sometimes the target is
strengthened with a resolve to near behave in a
similar manner. I remember in college I was
riding an escalator with a friend when a man
passing by us as he headed to a lower floor.
Suddenly he started screaming at me. I guess our
laughter, mine in particular it seems, had sent
him over the edge.
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I tried to look him in the eye and smile but this
enraged him to an even greater extent. I glanced
down and then back up but his screeching only
intensified. Silence did not work nor did my
apologetic shoulder shrug. My only escape was the
top of the stairs as I hoped he would not loop
around and follow me around the store for another
attack. Another time I came to the defense of my
daughter when I confronted her bully of a
teacher. As a teacher myself I feel for teachers
and the tough role they must play, but there are
some who are downright cruel. Their greatest
pleasure is drawn from humiliating and berating
students. My daughter is quiet and polite,
respectful and obedient. I do not say this simply
as her mother but because I think most people
would agree with my description. This teacher had
demeaned her with false accusations, ridiculed
her friends, and then dashed them all with low
grades. I simply needed to know the problem and
if it included my daughter's behavior, my husband
and I would attend to that.
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As I entered the room for our appointment, the
bully rose like a monster and spewing nasty
accusations. She stomped and screamed Erect On
Demand Review and moved to leer over us, hoping
we would cringe. As I pulled myself tall I then
asked for particulars and for assignments and
behaviors in questions. Her rage increased. My
only recourse after five minutes of trying to
communicate was to hug my daughter and leave.
Even when I reported this incident, the
administration backed this viciousness woman and
provided our only recourse to wait for the
semester to end and get a transfer to another
class or to move to another town. This haranguing
caused extensive damage at the moment, but my
daughter's resilience pulled her through and now
we can laugh at this reign of terror as we weep
for other children who must face this fiend.
http//togetherweearn.com/profiles/blogs/erect-on-
demand-book-review Instead of shrieks of return
wrath when assaulted I attempt conversation and
compromise. While these are my heartfelt
recommendations I also realize that when another
person is on a rampage, kindness and
consideration rarely produced positive results.
Now I just turn and walk away.