Self-pleasuring 101: Is It Necessary to Wash Your Hands Before and After You Self-pleasure?

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Self-pleasuring 101 Is It Necessary to Wash Your
Hands Before and After You Self-pleasure?
By John Dugan
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• Washing ones hands seems like a big part of
  everyday life. We wash after going to the
  bathroom, after eating, after doing anything
  messy, and even after sneezing (or if we think
  someone else we shook hands with did). However,
  are men washing their hands before and after they
  self-pleasure? Maybe not, if theyre being
  honest. Look on any mens forum boards on Reddit
  or other popular sites and you may find that men
  dont see the point in doing it beforehand, and
  some even think just wiping them off on a towel
  or some other inanimate (one hopes) object is
  good enough. Well, guys, its not, and heres
  why.

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Why Wash Before Self-pleasuring?

• Lets first agree that your male organ is a
  special thing, yes? You want to keep it safe and
  happy. With that in mind, take in this next
  information. At any particular given time, the
  human hand contains, on average, 3200 bacteria,
  plus fecal particles. Yes, fecal particles. Okay,
  digest that for a minute.
• So, while washing your hands isnt considered
  mandatory, you may want to make it part of your
  pre-game. It reduces your risk of getting
  infections like balanitis, which is a very itchy,
  ugly, uncomfortable infection on the head of your
  member. Its even worse if a man is uncircumcised
  because skin folds can trap things like dirt,
  bacteria, dead skin cells, and oils. This can
  lead to something else thats quite unpleasant,
  smegma, sometimes known by the very
  nose-offending term, male organcheese.

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• If you want to protect your family jewels, take a
  minute to wash your hands before a wank. Consider
  it part of a respectful ritual that keeps your
  male organ health high and your risk of infection
  low.

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Why Wash After Self-pleasuring?

• First of all, just ewwww. Seriously, would you
  want to shake hands with a guy who just shook his
  male organto completion? Didnt think so. But
  aside from the gross factor, lets talk about
  personal and public health issues.

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• Wiping it on a towel doesnt cut it. Remnants of
  seed, creme, and other not-so-fun things are
  still meandering around invisibly on your hands.
  These are things that can transfer to other parts
  of your own body. For instance, when you are
  self-pleasuring, you are very near your bum, and
  may even stimulate it or your perineum. Well, now
  there is microscopic fecal matter on your hand. A
  little while after self-pleasuring, you rub your
  eye. Later that night, you have pink eye. The
  fecal matter found its way into your eye and
  caused an infection. It could have been prevented
  had you washed your hands post-playtime.

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• Skipping the soap and water after jacking it can
  also then pass all sorts of things onto other
  people. In addition to doing the above to others
  (giving them infections via fecal matter), there
  are other more serious things at work here.
  Heres the thing, there are 27 known viruses in
  your seed. They can be sensually transmitted
  directly into the bloodstream. Ebola, HIV, Zika,
  and others live in the seed, and when you dont
  wash the seed away after a happy explosion, you
  put others at risk.
• Long story short, dont be a public nuisance,
  wash your hands after you stroke your salami.

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The Proper Member Prep and Post-intimacy Protocol

• Taking proper care of Mr. Happy isnt
  complicated, especially when taking care of Mr.
  Happy (nudge-nudge, wink-wink). Its pretty
  simple before self-pleasuring, wash your hands
  well with an antibacterial soap. Most experts say
  the process should last the length of time it
  takes a person to sing the Happy Birthday song.
  Rinse your hands well and towel dry. If you do
  add lotion at this time, make sure it is free of
  any unnatural or harsh ingredients that could
  irritate your member. Now go ahead and get to
  strokin.

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• And.BOOM! The magic has happened, the confetti
  has been thrown. Now its time to clean up. Its
  easiest to just jump into the shower and, using
  warm water and a mild, all-natural cleanser,
  thoroughly wash the member, being mindful of
  every fold and wrinkle. Next, rinse well to
  ensure that no soap is left on the member. Once
  done, pat or air dry. As a final step, apply a
  specially formulated male organ health oil
  (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil,
  which has been clinically proven mild and safe
  for skin). It not only uses shea butter and
  vitamin E to keep the skin soft and supple, but
  it also has L-carnitine, an amino acid known to
  prevent against peripheral nerve damage, which
  can sometimes result from too frequent or too
  intense chicken choking. Its a critical part of
  a male organ health regimen thatll keep your
  member strong and active into your twilight years.

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