How Parents Can Connect In A Disconnected World

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How Parents Can Connect In A Disconnected
World
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How Parents Can Connect In A Disconnected World
All of us strive to become the kind of parents
weve always wanted to be Confident, Optimistic,
and even Joyful. But we find ourselves confused
and often frustrated by the seemingly endless
challenges we experience when it comes to
connecting, interacting and building deeper
relationships with our children. Why is it so?
Why do we feel so inadequate? And feel so
frustrated? During early years, children feel a
range of emotions, but often cannot express,
interpret or process them. To help children make
sense of this, and have the best effect, children
need to be approached with empathy, supporting
and guiding them to identify and deal with their
emotions effectively.
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Being present in the moment
Every child is special and deserves to be treated
as a full-fledged individual. And the only way
this can happen is when parents realize the
importance of being present for their children,
despite the overwhelming pressures of modern-day
living and the demands it makes on their
time. Right from the time a baby is born, she is
already dealing with her own emotional reactions
in response to what is impacting her. A baby
expresses her frustration, hunger or pain by
crying. As she continues to grow and learn, a
child is further exposed to even more complex
experiences that trigger unpredictable emotional
reactions that are difficult to process and
impossible to manage with them at first.
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Bonding in the present
This is what emotional maturity is all about,
helping you to connect effectively with your
child. While it is a skill a child will also
develop as she grows, the ability to understand,
express and cope with these emotions need to be
nurtured throughout early childhood by
parents. The first step in this direction
involves getting your child to accept her
emotions and to start learning how to label them.
For instance, you could say, You look really
thrilled, after coming back from a visit to the
zoo. Or when your child is upset, you could
enquire, You look sad, is something bothering
you?. Once your child learns to label her
emotions, she will have the right words to
describe how feels about them. The advantages of
teaching labelling skills and being present for
your child are many. Suffice it to say, with free
exchange and flow of emotions and information,
communication becomes easier.
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Other ways to be present for your child
Thoughts, feelings, actions. When you are with
your child, never miss an opportunity to help
replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
This is also the best way to share with your
child how thoughts, feelings and actions actually
influence each other and show her how to help
break the chain. Especially, after a traumatic
event. Sit down with her, make it a point to face
her squarely and maintain eye contact. Tell her
to take a deep breath, and repeat this exercise a
couple of times. Once your child feels relaxed
and comfortable, ask her about the event that
made her feel so anxious or afraid.
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Other ways to be present for your child
Thoughts make feelings Exploring her thoughts and
feelings together is important. For instance, an
event that was upsetting. This may have been a
test your child prepared for and didnt get the
results she wanted. This made your child to
conclude, I am not good at anything. Ill never
get a star. She begins doubting her own
abilities and begins to feel scared about future
tests. Feelings affect actions When you ask your
child what she did as a result of such thoughts,
she might say that the next test is making her
more anxious and is finding it more difficult to
prepare for it. Thoughts about how bad she felt
the last time keep coming back, making her put
off studying altogether!
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Other ways to be present for your child
Actions influence thoughts Ask your child What
if she thought about this event in a different
way instead? Example What if she decides to
focus and prepare for the test? This way, instead
of giving in to a situation, you are helping your
child tackle the situation head-on. Get her to
start thinking I will keep trying until I do
well. Earn my star! This automatically sets in
motion a chain of hope and positive
thinking. Remember, feeling let down or bad is
completely normal. But, its important to remind
your child that not every thought or feeling is
necessarily true, even if it feels that way in
the moment. It is always helpful to try and
change the way we think about or react to events
we encounter.
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Go beyond just listening to your child
Express interest in what your child is saying.
Whether it seems trivial or big should have any
bearing. Listen with full attention, and observe
her body language, actions, sounds and words
carefully. By being present emotionally for your
child, you are validating your childs true
feelings and your own responses. It will be
helpful to allow your child to talk freely about
her feelings, like anger or wanting something so
badly that she snatched it from her siblings
hand. Ask what made her angry? Why didnt she
wait for her turn to come? Her answers will help
you respond in a clear and positive way and
allows you to set limits without sounding harsh.
Reflecting statements back to your child
acknowledges and provides words to describe
her feelings more accurately. Validating your
childs feelings is also extremely important
because it tells your child that you care about
how she feels deep inside.
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Be an empathetic parent
To best meet and support your childs emotions,
be sympathetic, warm, accepting and curious. The
more you lead with empathy, the more inspiring
you become to your children. As you are someone
they trust, make it a point to overcome the
barriers you may have of your own busy
schedules and daily office pressures. Commit to
working tirelessly to help your children be
happier, more resilient and more confident. Be
present to get your children through their daily
adventures. Support self-expression throughout
the day, through stories, painting and drawing,
crafts, roleplay and general play. Encourage
active physical movement and lots of
opportunities for conversations.
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Be an empathetic parent
As part of helping children to self-regulate and
deal with emotions, its important to set
expectations and boundaries for them. They need
to understand the importance of following rules
as it makes them more friendly, open and easy to
play and talk to. Finally, have fun. Help your
children stay away from electronic devices. If
that is not possible, minimize screentime, and
remind your child about it on a daily basis. Get
her to read books or paint or just doodle. If
your child is very young, reading to her will
expose her to a new world and stimulate her
imagination. Get her to be adventurous. Visit
parks, galleries, and museums. Take her to
concerts. Try out new ways to enjoy and turn
these into unforgettable experiences. More
importantly, be present while spending more time
together. Remember, your time is hers to drive,
and not the other way around!
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About My Gym Abrakadoodle
My Gym aims to lay a firm foundation for
personal, academic and future growth by involving
your child in age-appropriate, structured and
unstructured physical activities. Helping
strengthen neural networks within the brain and
developing a childs thinking and problem-solving
skills. At Abrakadoodle, process art learning
experiences inspire toddlers and young children
to help articulate their thoughts and feelings.
Children also discover visual art is the easiest
way to relax and meditate. Doodling, scribbling,
painting and drawing help children to think
differently, be innovative, and explore new ways
to grow their minds.
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Our Branches
My Gym Buona Vista 35, Rochester Drive,
Rochester Mall, 03-24/25/26 Singapore
138639 Phone [phone]
My Gym Jurong East 3 Gateway Drive, Westgate,
04-39 Singapore 608532 Phone [phone]
My Gym Great World 1 Kim Seng Promenade 03-106
Great World City Singapore 237994 Phone (65)
6235 4070
My Gym Punggol 681 Punggol Drive, Oasis
Terrace, 03-02/03/04 Singapore 820681 Phone
(65) 6787 1178
My Gym Tampines 300 Tampines Avenue 5, NTUC
Income, 05-05, Singapore 529653 Phone (65)
6789 7061
My Gym Parkway Parade 80 Marine Parade Road,
15-03 Parkway Parade, Singapore 449269 Phone
(65) 6440 9916
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