Maybe I Am Gay

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Maybe I Am Gay

• Michelle Novak, Graduate Student
• Marla Muxen, Ph.D., Professor
• Counseling Human Resources Development South
  Dakota State University

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Session Overview

• Reviewing Developmental Model
• Coming Out
• What to expect when working with Parents
  Families
• Homophobia-A journey toward support and beyond
• Interventions/Resources
• Discussion and Questions

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The Troiden Model of GLBT Identity Development

• Four-stage model
• Spiral progression of stages
• GLBT Identity development spans the lifetime
• Identity exists on three levels
• Self-concept level
• Perceived level
• Presented level

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Three Levels of Identity

• Self-concept self-perception of identities,
  including sexual orientation and gender, among
  others
• Perceived level how people perceive others as
  seeing them
• Presented level ways people present themselves
  in social settings
• Identity most fully realized when all three
  levels are congruent

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Troidens Developmental Stages

• Sensitization
• Identity Confusion
• Identity Assumption
• Commitment

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Sensitization

• Characteristics of this stage
• Occurs before puberty
• Atypical gender role experiences
• Feel different from same-gender peers

• Possible needs at this stage
• Permission to be who they are
• Support rather than shame
• Protection from bullying

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Identity Confusion

• Characteristics
• Consider possibility of being gay/lesbian
• Connect behavior with gay/lesbian identity
• Personal reactions can be negative or positive
• Use of dysfunctional coping

• Possible Needs
• Permission to be confused about sexual identity
• Education about more positive coping strategies
• Support
• Safe environment
• Positive role model(s)

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Identity Assumption

• Characteristics
• Self-identity presented identity are gay or
  lesbian
• Begin telling others about identity
• Exploration of and/or involvement in GLBT
  community
• Feeling more positive about identity

• Possible needs
• Information about resources
• Support in exploring friendships and romantic
  relationships
• Feeling safe at home, in school, and in community

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Commitment

• Characteristics
• Comfort with identity
• Integration of sexuality and emotionality
• Same-gender dating and relationships
• Identity management becomes primary challenge

• Possible needs
• Support in dealing with homophobia (internal as
  well as external)
• Advocacy for affirming/inclusive policies in
  education, employment, society as a whole

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A few thoughts

• Same-sex-attracted teens are first and foremost
  adolescents their sexual identity development
  does not occur in a vacuum
• Regardless of sexual orientation, teens vary in
  the degree to which sexuality is core component
  of identity-may or may not be sexually active
• They are similar to all other teens in
  developmentally significant ways
• Negotiating parental and peer relationships
• Adjusting to physical changes in appearance (aah,
  the joys of puberty)
• Educational and occupational concerns

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Coming Out

• What exactly is coming out?
• Self-acceptance of sexual identity
• Act of telling others about sexual orientation
• Attempt to find place in GLBT community
• Social process of creating an ever-expanding
  circle where people live openly as lesbian or
  gay. (Chernin Johnson, 2003)
• It is a NEVER-ENDING process

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Coming Out

• So-called stages of coming out are nonlinear
• Generally, coming out occurs in the following
  sequence
• Self
• Other gay lesbian friends
• Close straight friends
• Close family members
• Parents
• Close friends at work

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Working with Parents FamiliesWhat to expect

• Reactions of parents to a same-sex-attracted
  child range from unconditional acceptance to
  rejection
• Parents may grieve loss of childs heterosexual
  identity (perception that child will not marry or
  have children)
• Concern for childs physical safety and emotional
  well-being
• May believe they did something wrong in raising
  child

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HomophobiaA Journey toward support and beyond

• Intense, irrational fear of same-gender
  relationships that becomes overwhelming to the
  person
• Fear of intimate relationships with people of
  the same gender
• http//web.missouri.edu/umcstudentlife/glbt/resou
  rces/riddlehomophobiascale.pdf

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Riddle Homophobia Scale

• Homophobic Levels of Attitude
• 1) Repulsion
• 2) Pity
• 3) Tolerance
• 4) Acceptance

• Positive Levels of Attitude
• 1) Support
• 2) Admiration
• 3) Appreciation
• 4) Nurturance

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Interventions

• Improve school safety
• Dispel misinformation and affirm diversity
• Provide support network for GLBT students
• Prevent discrimination
• Staff training and workshops
• Ensure equal access to all school activities
• Be aware (and wary) of interventions to change
  sexual orientation
• Be prepared to address controversy

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Interventions

• Respect for All Project
• Purpose is to create safe, hate-free schools and
  communities
• Provides youths and adults who guide their
  development the tools they need to engage in
  age-appropriate discussions about human
  difference, preventing prejudice, and building
  caring communities
• Offers comprehensive set of resources for
  educators and service providers, including
  documentaries, curriculum, and workshops

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Resources for Counseling Professionals

• Books
• Gay, Lesbian, Transgender Issues in
  Education-James T. Sears (ed)
• The New Gay Teenager-Ritch C. Savin-Williams
• Lesbian Gay Youth Care Counseling-Caitlin
  Ryan Donna Futterman
• Affirmative Psychotherapy Counseling for
  Lesbians and Gay Men-Jeffrey Chernin Melissa
  Johnson

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Resources

• Films
• Its Elementary-Talking About Gay Issues in
  School
• Lets Get Real
• Addresses bullying and name-calling in middle
  schools

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Web Sites

• NDSU Safe Zone http//www.mu.ndsu.edu/safezone
• Equality North Dakota http//www.equalitynd.org
• North Dakota Human Rights Coalition
  http//www.ndhrc.org/links/glbt_support_organizati
  ons.htm
• Central Dakota PFLAG http//www.pflagcd.tripod.com
  /index.html
• Advocates for Youth http//www.advocatesforyouth.o
  rg
• Project 10 On-site educational support for GLBTQ
  youth http//www.project10.org
• Gay, Lesbian Straight Education Network (GLSEN)
  http//www.glsen.org
• Parents and Families of Gays Lesbians (PFLAG)
  http//www.pflag.org
• Safe Schools Coalition http//www.safeschoolscoali
  tion.org/safe.html
• Youthworks http//www.youthworks.com/healthsexglbt
  .html

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Discussion Questions
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Resources

• Chernin, J.N. Johnson, M.R. (2003). Affirmative
  psychotherapy and counseling for lesbians and gay
  men. Thousand Oaks, CA Sage Publications.
• Ryan, C. Futterman, D. (1998). Lesbian gay
  youth care counseling. New York Columbia
  University Press.
• Savin-Williams, R.C. (2005). The new gay
  teenager. Cambridge, MA Harvard University
  Press.
• Sears, J.T. (ed.) (2005). Gay, lesbian, and
  transgender issues in education programs,
  policies, and practices. New York Harrington
  Park Press.