Love and Logic In the Classroom

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Love and LogicIn the Classroom

• By Jim Fay Charles Fay, Ph.D. School
  Consultant Services,Inc.
• Presented by
• Tasha, Julie, Janine, and Heidi

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It takes a great deal of love to. . .

• Set limits without anger, lectures, or threats
• Hold them accountable for their poor decisions
  by providing empathy first and consequences
  second

• Find the positives in our kids when they act
  poorly
• Hug them before we ask them about their homework

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When we give this special kind of love, a wise
type of logic grows in their minds

• When I make poor decisions, it makes my life
  pretty sad. I wonder how my next decision will
  affect my life?

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The Rules of Love And Logic

• Rule 1
• Adults set firm limits in loving ways without
  anger, lecture, or threats

• Rule 2
• When a child causes a problem the adult hands it
  back in loving ways.

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Handing it Back with Love

• In a loving way the adult holds the child
  accountable for solving his/her problems in a way
  that does not make a problem for others.
• Children are offered choices with limits
• Adults use enforceable statements
• Adults provide delayed/extended consequences.
• The adults empathy is locked in before
  consequences are delivered.

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The Four Principles

• A childs self-concept is always the prime
  consideration.
• A child is always left with a feeling that he/she
  has some control.

• An equal balance of consequences and empathy
  replaces punishment.
• The child is required to do more thinking then
  the adult.

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Setting Firm LimitsUsing Enforceable Statements

• These are statements that maintain your
  authority.
• They are most effective when said softly and
  with a loving smile.

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Examples of Enforceable Statements

• Ill listen as soon as your voice is calm.
• I respect you to much to argue.
• I charge for listening to arguing.
• Its cold. Im wearing my coat. Are you going
  to wear yours or carry it?

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Providing Choices when Reasonable

• Only give choices that you can live with.
• Make sure youre willing to live with the childs
  choice.
• Be prepared to choose if the child fails to
  choose in five to ten seconds.
• Never give a choice when a child is in danger.

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Delivering Consequences Effectively

• Remember to be empathic not angry.
• Do not be Sarcastic.
• Encourage the child to ownhis/her problem.
• Keep your empathy simple and repetitive.

• Do not under estimate the power of nonverbal
  communication.
• Your delivery is everything.

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The Four-Step Consequence Approach

• Step three Follow the five steps of problem
  solving.
• 1.Lead with empathy
• 2.Hand the problem back
• 3.Ask to share a few possible solutions.
• 4.Help the child evaluate each solution.
• 5. Give the power message
• Step Four Deliver a consequence if child
  doesnt solve the problem.

• Step one Delay the consequence.
• Empathetic response
• Step two Make a plan with help from others.
• Make sure you have support from others. It is
  best for child to solve the problem, but if child
  refuses be prepared to deliver a consequence.

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Creating Healthy Beliefs about Achievement

• Step one Write three healthy beliefs on a
  bulletin board or note card.
• I worked hard.
• I kept trying.
• Ive been practicing.
• Step two Focus on noticing what the child has
  done well.

• Step three Ask the child to provide an
  explanation for their success.
• Step four Ask the child to repeat the cause
  responsible for their success.

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What I say I will soon come to believe.
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References

• Jim Fay
• The Love and Logic Institute, Inc.
• www.loveandlogic.com
• 2207 Jackson Street, Golden , CO 80401
• 1-800-338-4065
• Randy Gordon Love and Logic Facilitator in
  Lincoln , NE