Beyond Exchange: Closeness and Interdependence

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Beyond Exchange Closeness and Interdependence
Lecture 6July 5, 2007
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• Please fill out the CSS scale and tally your
  score.
• Please read the instructions carefully and answer
  honestly.
• Your answers are completely private.

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• The key to a successful marriage is to give
  without measure.
• ? Larry Seidman, 1985

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Beyond Exchange

• Are exchange rules good for relationships?
• Do they reflect the rules we actually use or
  think we should use in close relationships?

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Beyond Exchange

• Communal vs. Exchange Relationships(Clark
  Mills, 1979)
• Relationships differ in the norms regarding the
  giving and receiving of benefits
• A benefit is something you give to others
• Two major types of relationships

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Communal vs. Exchange

• Exchange Relationships
• Give benefits with the expectation of receiving
  comparable benefit in return
• Relatively immediate tit-for-tat repayment
• Costs should be offset by compensating
  rewardsCosts-Rewards 0
• Strict cost accounting keep track of
  inputs/outputs
• Typically reflects relationships with strangers,
  acquaintances, business partners

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Communal vs. Exchange

• Communal Relationships
• Give benefits in response to need with NO
  expectation of receiving similar benefit in
  return
• Benefits given in response to needs as they arise
• No strict cost accounting
• Willing to incur cost without compensation
• Expectation of mutual responsiveness to each
  others needs

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Communal vs. Exchange

• Communal Relationships
• A need-based rule
• This is the ideal rule for close relationships
• To the best of their ability, each person should
  benefitother in response to needs
• Concern for others welfare
• Rewards derived from meeting the others needs
• Typically reflects relationships with family
  members, friends, romantic partners

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Communal Relationships

• Relationships differ in communal strength
• How big a cost are you willing to incur to meet
  the needs of another?

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Communal Relationships

• Would you lend 50 cents to
• Child?
• Friend?
• Neighbor?
• How about 5
• How about 50
• How about 500

Child gt Friend gt Neighbor
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Communal Relationships

• Greater communal strength
• Greater motivation to respond to others needs
• Feel good when meeting others needs
• Feel bad (guilty, worried) when you dont
• Others needs take priority (in cases where both
  partners are needy)
• Willingness to incur greater cost without
  expecting compensation

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Communal Relationships

• People sometimes follow exchange rules
• People sometimes follow communal rules

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Deciding to Follow Communal vs. Exchange Rules

• High
• Cost of
• Benefit
• Low
• Stranger Friend
  Child/Spouse
• Communal Strength

Exchange norm applies
Communal norm applies
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Research on Communal/Exchange

• Peggy Clark, Judson Mills, colleagues
• Experimental research (manipulate desire for
  communal or exchange relationship)
• Communal participate in study with someone who
  is attractive, single, new to area, looking to
  meet someone
• Exchange participate in study with someone who
  is attractive, but married or not looking to meet
  someone
• Non-experimental research
• Examine differences in naturally occurring
  communal (e.g., friends) or exchange (e.g.
  strangers) relationships

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Research on Communal/Exchange

• When communal relationship is present or desired
• Keep track of others needs when other is working
  on a task
• Feel good after helping (and help more) and feel
  bad when prevented from helping
• Less likely to keep track of inputs on a joint
  task and make less distinctions between own and
  others contributions
• More responsive to others sadness
• Liking decreases if other person follows an
  exchange norm (e.g. repays a favor or asks for
  repayment of a favor)
• Respond more positively to others expression of
  emotion

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Research on Communal/Exchange

• When exchange relationship is present or desired
• Expect benefits to be repaid immediately
• More likely to keep track of inputs on a joint
  task
• Perceive contributions to a joint task as
  separate
• Monitor others needs only when opportunity for
  personal gain
• Experience little boost in mood after helping
  another

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Issues to Consider

• Boundary conditions
• Benefit wont be given (or accepted) if cost is
  too high
• In this case, exchange norms may be followed
• Wont give a friend a car but will sell it a good
  price
• Wont accept a car from a friend
• Communal norm is the ideal, but not always
  followed
• We often neglect others needs, or feel neglected
• Individual differences in communal and exchange
  orientation (Clark et al., 1987)

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Issues to Consider

• If people are following communal norms, why is
  equity (sometimes) related to satisfaction?
• Following communal norm may result in both
  increased satisfaction and increased equity
• Satisfaction may lead you to rate relationship
  favorably on all dimensions
• Dissatisfaction leads us to focus on inputs and
  outputs
• Needs not being met ? Feelings of inequity

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Issues to Consider

• So does equity matter?
• Yes, but primarily when needs are not being met
• In general, equity is not the rule that people
  use when determining if their close relationships
  are satisfying

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Beyond Exchange Interdependence

• Interdependence partners outcomes are linked
  (lives are deeply intertwined)
• P1s behavior affects the behavior and
  experiences of P2
• Partners rely on each other for fulfillment of
  needs
• Boundary between self-interest partner-interest
  blurred
• Benefits for one partner are also rewarding for
  the other

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Beyond Exchange Interdependence

• Interdependence dilemma
• When well-being of one partner is incompatible
  with well-being of partner or relationship
• Transformation of motivation
• Immediate self-interest replaced with motivation
  toimprove welfare of relationship and partner
• Her dreams are now my dreams
• - Tom Cruise

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Beyond Exchange Interdependence

• How does this transformation come about?
• Relationship-specific motives
• Love Commitment trust cognitive
  interdependence
• Personal dispositions
• Attachment style Self-esteem
• Social norms
• Communal orientation Moral proscriptions