Attraction and Close Relationships

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Attraction and Close Relationships
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Lecture contents

• Evolutionary psychology
• Utility theories of close relationships
• Social exchange theory
• Taxonomies of close relationships
• The triangular theory of love
• Relationship development
• Passionate and compassionate love
• Patterns of self-disclosure
• Troubled relationships

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The selfish gene

• Gender-specific differences in optimal strategies
  for gene survival (on average, among humans, in
  the state of nature).
• For women serial long-lasting relationships
  with the best economic providers possible.
• For men multiple parallel short-term
  relationships with the most fertile women
  possible.
• Genes from people adopting these strategies are
  likely to become relatively numerous in
  subsequent generations (up to a point).
• Therefore, to the extent that such behaviours are
  genetically determined, such behaviours are
  likely to become increasingly common (up to a
  point) in subsequent generations.

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The selfish gene as explanation of sexual
behaviour

• To the extent that
• (i) sexual behaviour is genetically determined,
  and
• (ii) environmental conditions are supportive of
  natural evolution,
• we would expect to find a majority of women to be
  clingy (but pretending not to be) and a
  majority of men to be loose (but pretending not
  to be).

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Evolutionary psychology

• Does assume a genetic basis for sexual (and
  other) behaviour.
• Does consider that environmental conditions are
  typically supportive of natural evolution.
• It therefore predicts that most women will be
  clingy (but pretending not to be) and most men
  will be loose (but pretending not to be).
• Deviant behaviour is nevertheless to be
  expected
• Other successful strategies in ESS.
• Non-denied occasional influence of environmental
  conditions.
• Natural process of evolution.

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The debate

• Many criticisms of evolutionary psychology are
  weak, often misunderstanding the theory.
• Any finding (and its opposite) can be explained
  by both evolutionary psychology and
  sociocultural perspectives.
• E.g., if a sample of faithful men are found
• Measurement bias
• Evolutionary pressures to become increasingly
  convincing.
• Sampling bias
• Faithfulness in men does not usually prevent
  genetic transmission.
• Local conditions
• Women may have the opportunity to be highly
  selective.

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Social Exchange Theory Framework
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The Triangular Theory of Love Sternberg (1986)
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Passion and compassion

• Hatfield (1988)
• Passionate love
• Emotionally intense, often highly erotic
• Compassionate love
• Secure, trusting, comfortable

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Passion

• Passionate love as arousal attribution
• Dutton Aron (1984)
• White et al. (1981)
• But Foster et al. (1998)

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Social penetration theory (Altman Taylor, 1973)
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Relationships in crisis

• Self-disclosure changes
• For some, a long, thin dagger of discontent.
• Cf. Negative affect reciprocity.
• For others, less breadth and depth.
• Cf. Demand/withdraw interaction pattern.
• Making things better
• Increasing rewards in non-contentious areas.
• Trying to understand the other persons point of
  view.
• Including avoiding fundamental attribution errors
  for negative acts.

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Aron et al.s (1992) Other in the self (IOS) Scale