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Positive Self-TalkReframing Your Ability to
Cope with Change
2006 United States Junior Chamber
Training Task Force
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How do you see yourself?

• What are your beliefs about you?

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How do you see yourself?

• As someone who explores new ideas and new ways
  of doing things.
• I am someone who avoids looking for the "right"
  answer.
• I am uncomfortable with things that are "grey".
• I seek yes/no, right/wrong justifications for
  things.
• I get anxious when there are a lot of "what
  if's".
• I like to think logically about the next steps.

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How do others see you?

• Sometimes the way we see ourselves is not the way
  others see us.
• How do you find out how others see you?
• Why is it important to have that information?
• What can you do with it?

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How Do You Think?Do you have limiting beliefs
and assumptions?
Do you fear the unknown because of the what if
factor? Do you fear you might lose something
because of the changes that are coming? Does
change immediately imply the possibility for
failure? Do you limit your ability to succeed
because you tend to focus on the possibility of
failing?
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Objectives

• Upon completion of this session you will be able
  to
• Use reframing to think positively and project
  a positive attitude
• Develop awareness about your own limiting
  assumptions and beliefs
• Prepare to respond positively and
  constructively to change in the future

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What is Self talk?

• When we talk to ourselves out loud in front of
  others.
• The words we use when we talk to ourselves our
  personal internal dialog.

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According to the experts, how much of our daily
self-talk is negative?

• 70
• 50
• 10

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Understanding self-talk is important because

• Our emotions, perceptions and behaviors are
  shaped by our most dominant thoughts.
• Your self talk can influence your self esteem,
  outlook, energy level, performance and
  relationships.

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Negative self-talk

• Negative self-talk is usually a mixture of
  half-truths, poor logic, and distortions of
  reality that can perpetuate negative emotions,
  such as pessimism, guilt, fear, and anxiety.

It often occurs when in times of emotional
turmoil, or when we are going through stress or a
personal transition.
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Select what do you believe is important for
positive self-talk

• Personalize the affirmation
• Make your affirmations about things you can
  control
• Make your affirmation about your own goals
• Make your affirmation in the present tense
• State your affirmations in the positive
• Make your affirmations realistic and believable

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Barriers to Positive Self-Talk

• Black/White Thinking (it either is or its not)
• Negatives (well it worked this time but..)
• Comparing (compare and despair)
• Assumptions ( I know exactly what will happen
  now)
• Personalization (he doesnt like me)
• Shouldofs ( I should have done that
  differently)

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There's A Hole In My Sidewalk

• Chapter OneI walk down a street and there's a
  big hole. I don't see it and fall into it. It's
  dark and hopeless and it takes me a long time to
  find my way out. It's not my fault !
• Chapter TwoI walk down the same street. There's
  a big hole and I can see it, but I still fall in.
  It's dark and hopeless and it takes me a long
  time to get out. It's still not my fault.

• Chapter ThreeI walk down a street. There's a big
  hole. I can see it, but I still fall in. It's
  become a habit. But I keep my eyes open and get
  out immediately. It is my fault.
• Chapter FourI walk down a street. There's a big
  hole. And I walk around it.
• Chapter Five..!
• (Can you fill in the blank? )

• I walk down a different street!

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Filters

• Family

• Experiences

• Values

• Education

• Filters can include prior experiences, education,
  how we were raised, what was rewarded by parents,
  etc. Filters can be positive because help us to
  make quick decisionscan also be negative for the
  same reasonleave us less open to new information
  and ways of looking at situations.
• What can we do to open ourselves up and get past
  these filters?

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Out of the Box Thinking
1. greenvy 2. me quit 3. death life 4. hes
himself

• Green with envy
• Quit following me
• Life after death
• Hes beside himself

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Reframing

• See the positive purpose underlying changes that
  are at first regarded with resistance or
  objections
• Overcome filters
• Think out of the box in new and different ways

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The Plumbers Response

• Smells like a paycheck to me!

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Acknowledge that there is another way
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What is one way you will try think out of
your box?

• Ask someone else for a different perspective.
• Write down all the positive outcomes possible.
• Reflect on ways I have reacted in the past and
  learn from my mistakes.
• Brainstorm with others who are really positive
  about the situation.
• I already think about change in a positive way.

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Accept Uncertainty

• Mergers, reorganizations, new systems, new
  managers, personal life changes, may not be
  pleasant. They are often signs of better things
  to come.
• The world is forcing the hand of the company
  change is hitting the company just like it is
  you. The company must adapt or die.remember the
  dinosaurs?

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Think about

• A personal situation in your past where your
  acceptance of change led to positive new outcomes.

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Look forward to the future
We cannot change the past - we can only move
forward. The change will not stop no matter how
hard you wish it. Help create the change
initiatives rather than resisting them.
My interest is in the future because I am going
to spend the rest of my life there. Charles
Kettering
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Find new ways to look at things

• Come up with at least three other ways to view
  the situation or the change
• Find the positive side of each and every changing
  situation
• Help others to see the flip-side of their
  perceptions
• Look back to measure how far you have come

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Get the Ball Rolling
Once we get our momentum going we are hard to
stop.once we decide to use our influence and
motivation towards a positive and productive
working environment, it becomes a self-fulfilling
prophecy.
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Open the lines of communication
In times of rapid change where we fear the
unknown we must all take on the responsibility of
keeping communication a priority.
You are the only person who can use your
ability. It is an awesome responsibility to
yourself Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Open the lines of communication
This is a story about four people named
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There
was an important job to be done and Everybody was
sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could
have done it but Nobody did it. Everybody got
mad about this because it was Somebodys job.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody asked
Anybody. It ended up that Everybody blamed
Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have
done!!!
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Dealing with negativity from others
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How can you positively influence others?
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What are some ways you can influence others?

• 1. Share a metaphor
• 2. Share a positive affirmation or quote
• 3. Provide contrast or perspective
• 4. Spin the issue in a positive light
• 5. Share a personal story

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Which positive statement do you like that may
help reframe?

• It could be a great growth experience for you.
• You will have some stories to share after this.
• Get over it!
• You are definitely a glass is half empty person.
• Que Sera Sera!

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How will you do it?

• Positive and negative are directions. Which
  direction do you choose? 

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This completes the session. You should be now be
able to

• Understand the notion of reframing
• Develop awareness about your own limiting
  assumptions and beliefs
• Acknowledge the existence of another way to see
  problems, conflicts and issues
• Apply this awareness to one of your current area
  of resistance
• Learn to respond positively and constructively to
  change in the future

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• You can find additional resources on this subject
  at
• http//www.neurosemantics.com/Articles/Management-
  by-Reframing.htm
• The Art of Framing Managing the Language of
  Leadership
• Gail Fairhurt and Robert A. Sarr
• Jossey-Bass Publishers 1996

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Positive Self-TalkReframing Your Ability to
Cope with Change
2006 United States Junior Chamber
Training Task Force