Reflection One by M' Barber

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Reflection One by M. Barber
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Reflection on the Homestay The Endless Toil of
Women
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One theme announced itself from the first moment
I stepped into their traditional Japanese
farmhouse the endless toil of women. Here above
the door hung the reminder of French farmwomen,
gleaning, picking up the last scraps after
harvest. And outside I saw the rice making ready
to be reaped and later gleaned.
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This is my home stay mom. This, my hostess taught
a full day of elementary school, made ready for
another overnight stay, performed in a musical
performance, made difficult, but polite
conversation with me, drove me to her home with
her in-laws, fixed a before bedtime treat,
prepared my bathall before, she herself could
attend to her own needs past midnight.I see
evidence that there is not enough money and not
enough time.
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My Japanese homestay mom is unusual in many
respects she works not only in the house but
also, outside the home. AND, she is like most of
the teachers I know she had a demanding
professional life (as an elementary music
teacher) and she maintains a commitment to an
outside passion (as a drummer in a traditional
music group).AND, she has three children, the
youngest being in high school. AND, she lives
with her in-laws, and takes care of them as they
reach into the middle of their eighth decade.AND,
she has a commuter-husband who journeys to his
home and his relationship with her only on the
weekends. AND, she is a hard working woman, and I
felt guilty adding to her burdens.
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Certainly, this is common place In the world of
women this feeling of being taut with the
pounding of The work drum.
This homestay is not the highlight of my trip
this is an existential plunge into the question
of what it is to be a woman in a modern society
this is to be a reflection of my mothers life
and my life and my friends life. This is a
picture of women gleaning in the field of
constant work.
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Like a drum, this woman is fierce, stretched
between Caring for her in-laws and for caring for
her commuter husband and the for the educational
needs of her children. Her eldest child, her
only son, the one most important, is away at a
university.
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Her middle daughter Is enrolled at a nearby
college.
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Her youngest daughter attends a more prestigious
high school out of town. She is a boarder during
the week and travels with her dad on the
weekends to be home with her grandparents and
family.
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Knowingly, she peers wondering if my life is any
easier it is. But, my mothers was not.
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At the center, in the tension, in between.