Personal Responsibility and Decision Making

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Personal Responsibility and Decision Making

• The Moments of Truth
• Created by Shawn McGuirk
• Director for Student Development Conduct
• Brandeis University
• As part of The Judicial Educator on
  www.reslife.net

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In the session you will learn how to...

• Identify which decisions need to be made
• Make a well thought-out decision
• Learn what it means to take responsibility for
  actions (and inaction)
• Put your decisions into appropriate action

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On the Road to Decision Making and Responsibility
Taking

• How many times have you thought, or heard
  someone say, I just cant seem to make a
  decision? Weve all been guilty of asking this
  type of question (more on that later).

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On the Road to Decision Making and Responsibility
Taking

• What about decisions related to violating
  university or housing policies? It can at points
  be challenging to fully think through the
  consequences of a decision. When confronted as a
  result of a bad decision, it is quite typical for
  some students to say, I didnt think it was a
  big deal or I wasnt thinking. Unfortunately,
  this practice of not thinking carries with it
  consequences, some of which are quite unpleasant.

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Of course the truth is that whether you think
about them or think them through, we CAN and DO
make dozens of decisions daily. Dont believe
me? Then do me a favor take a scrap piece of
paper and in 2 minutes quickly jot down all the
decisions you have made today.
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On the Road to Decision Making and Responsibility
Taking, continued...

• So how did you do? If you have done this before
  noon Id guess you might only have 20 or so
  decisions, if its closer to the end of the day
  then the number is probably 3 times that, if not
  more.

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I know what some of you are thinking, 20
decisions?! Ive only been able to think of 5 or
6! If thats the case, lets quickly review some
decisions we all make in the morning.
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On the Road to Decision Making and Responsibility
Taking

• Its 940am as Im typing this. Here are some
  of the decisions I have already made today, and
  Im guessing youve made many of the same

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Sofor some of those decisions I made today

• Had something to eat
• Put my jacket on
• Grabbed my umbrella
• Left for work

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Ohand lets not forget about these things

• Got a cup of coffee
• Put cream and sugar in the coffee
• Turned the lights on in my office
• Turned my computer on

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And even more decisions

• Checked my voicemail
• Checked my email
• Made a phone call
• Began working on this workshop

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On the Road to Decision Making and Responsibility
Taking (continued)

• Ok, so how many decision is that in about 2
  hours? I count 16. And make no mistake, they
  were all actual decisions just like you make
  every day of your life.

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On the Road to Decision Making and Responsibility
Taking

• Certainly some of the decisions we make are
  easier than others. The problem is that we dont
  give ourselves enough credit for what we may
  consider to be routine decisions, and so we
  dont think we can make a more difficult
  decision when we need to.

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On the Road to Decision Making and Responsibility
Taking

• The other problem is that because so many of
  the daily decisions we make are easier ones,
  we dont even realize we are making them. We are
  not aware that it takes a decision to get us into
  the shower, dressed and ready for the day. But
  theyre all decisions. ALL OF THEM.

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On the Road to Decision Making and Responsibility
Taking

• What were some of the decisions you made that
  brought you to this workshop today? Maybe you
  decided to spend time with friends. That might
  have been an easy decision to make. As simple as
  the decision to get up in the morning and shower
  that we discussed earlier.

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Then what?
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In certain instances, simple decisions (as an
example making the decision to hang out with
friends) evolve into situations that are more
complicated and difficult. Complications may
come from peer pressure, being under the
influence, wanting to impress others, or any
other number of extenuating circumstances that
may present themselves
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Youre probably taking this module because you
made some less than desirable choices and
decisions of latehave you spent time really
thinking about the choices you made and why you
made them?
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• If all the decisions we needed to make were as
  simple as deciding to get out of bed and eat each
  day, life would be easy. This is not the case
  however, because most of the decisions that we
  face each day are more complicated and they
  require forethought and careful consideration
  prior to making them.

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Sohow should one go about making well thought
through and intelligent decisions? There are 5
steps that are involved in intelligent decision
making
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5 steps to making intelligent decisions

• They are
• 1. We must first be confronted with a D.O.
  (Decision Opportunity) and reflect on what this
  opportunity means to us.
• 2. Analyze what we do and do not have control
  over.
• 3. Brainstorm likely outcomes for each decision?
• 4. Make the decision.
• 5. Put the decision into action.

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Now, lets break each of these steps down in
detail...
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THE FIRST STEP IN INTELLIGENT DECISION MAKING
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• For our purposes we will use the decision
  making process used by Viktor Frankl, who is a
  well-know author, psychotherapist and survivor of
  a concentration camp in Aushwitz during World War
  II.

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The first step in decision making involves being
confronted with a D.O. (decision opportunity)

• We must first be confronted with a D.O.
  (Decision Opportunity) and reflect on what this
  opportunity means to us.
• A Decision Opportunity is simply that - a chance
  for us to make a decision. During your day you
  may have to decide to go to class, to do your
  homework, to attend your assistantship, etc.

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On the Road to Decision Making and Responsibility
Taking

• On the weekends the decisions you are faced with
  are probably different. An example decision
  could deal with figuring out whether youll go
  out or not? It seems pretty simple but then it
  gets a little more complicated

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It gets complicated when you then determine who
do I go out with? What am I going to do
(specifically), how is what I plan on doing going
to effect me short-term, long-term? And then the
ultimate question - is it worth it?
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From simple to complicated, it all involves a
D.O. (Decision Opportunity)
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For Dr. Frankl, his D.O. was under unbearable
circumstances. His D.O. was simply to understand
and decide how he was going to tolerate and
survive a German concentration camp. Why?
Because it was his hope that he would find his
family, that he could help others through their
sorrow, and that he would have the opportunity to
write his book about his experiences in the camp.
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Decision Break-Down continued...

• In his book, Creative Consulting Techniques,
  Robert Pike states that ultimately we are tuned
  in to WII-FM (Whats In It For Me?). Its our
  job to first recognize that we have a genuine
  Decision Opportunity and to then decide what that
  opportunity means for us. Its not just about
  saying yes or no, its about evaluating the
  positives and negatives of the decisions that we
  make.

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So, after experiencing the decision opportunity,
the next step is to analyze what we do and do not
have control over.
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THE SECOND STEP IN INTELLIGENT DECISION MAKING
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The second step in decision making is to analyze
what we do and do not have control over

• Again using Dr. Frankls experience when faced
  with his D.O., he quickly realized that he did
  not have control over his living environment,
  what and when he ate, what he was allowed to
  wear, not even his daily activity. This was all
  dictated to him while in the concentration camp.
  In other words, he had no control over what
  others decided for him, i.e. his external locust
  of control.

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What he did have control of, however, was his
internal locust of control, i.e. what he thought,
how he felt and subsequently how he chose to
interpret what was happening to him and others.
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Decision Break-Down continued...

• You have the same capability to decide how you
  are going to think, feel and react to a
  particular situation. Back to the decision about
  going out on the weekendlets say you decide to
  go to a party

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Maybe you didnt have a choice about who was
going to be at a party on campus, or how your
friends were going to try to pressure you to do
something you didnt want to do.
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You do however, have the capability of deciding
to stay away from someone at the party you dont
like verses fighting with them, or walking away
if they approach you, or leaving the party if
need be.
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You also have the capability of analyzing the
good advice you get from your friends from time
to time, and evaluating whether the good advice
really looks out for your best interest.
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One of the bottom lines here is that you are
ultimately in control of the decisions you make.
Back to that party situation, you are
ultimately the one who chooses to stay or leave a
bad situation, and as the one in control, youll
be held accountable for the decisions that you
make most likely. And what does this mean?
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It means that YOU are the one responsible for
your actions and most actions have subsequent
consequences.
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And what might some of those consequences be?
Consequences of bad decisions result in loss of
integrity, loss of respect, loss of
relationships.
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And depending on your college/university
policies/procedures, it could mean anything from
a residence hall warning to community service, to
having to call you parents, to a loss of your
housing privileges
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As the adage goes, 99 of our life is not what
happens to us, but how we react to what happens
to us.
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THE THIRD STEP IN INTELLIGENT DECISION MAKING
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The third step in decision making is to
brainstorm the likely outcomes for each possible
decision...

• Viktor Frankls outcomes, though at times
  uncertain, were relatively straight-forward, but
  he knew they were his to make He could decide to
  live and make life tolerable, or he could decide
  to die.

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There are records of countless people who decided
to die by throwing themselves into electrified
fences surrounding the concentration camps. Dr.
Frankl decided not to do this for reasons cited
earlier.
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He made a conscience choice to learn from his
experience and aid others.
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As he states in his book, Mans Search For
Meaning, The more one forgets himself - by
giving himself to a cause to serve or another
person to love - the more human he is and the
more he actualizes himself. p. 133
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Decision Break-Down continued...In terms of your
personal circumstance, It is important for you to
analyze potential outcomes of the decisions you
make. For example, what would the outcome
probably be if you skipped the same class for a
month? What if you decided to put in a bit more
time studying?
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And back to that party situationbefore you get
into a bad situation think about the outcomesif
you get in a fight someone could get seriously
hurt you and your friends or others could end up
in the hospital or in jailyou could be
disgracefully facing your parents the next day
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Every day we are faced with questions and
decisions, and most times our decisions will not
only affect us, but others as well. Its
imperative that we be patient with ourselves and
not make hasty decisions that could lead to
unpleasant outcomes.
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Remember the third step in intelligent decision
makingif you think through the outcomes of
getting in a fight with another individual, prior
to getting in the fight, youd probably figure
out that the fight is not such a good idea.
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Decision Break-Down continued...

• As you go about making decisions take the
  responsibility to do what is in your best
  interest and the best interests of
  othersparticularly those that are closest to
  you.

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THE FOURTH STEP IN INTELLIGENT DECISION MAKING
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Step 4 involves making the decision...

• Now weve been confronted with a Decision
  Opportunity, weve analyzed what we do and do not
  have control over, and weve researched likely
  outcomes for each decision. Now its time to
  take a risk and actually make a decision.

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Traveling back to that party situation again,
after analyzing the outcomes for the decision,
hopefully youd realize that the negative
consequences of getting in a fight outweigh the
positives of stroking your ego, and youd decide
to either stay away or walk away from the
situation.
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THE FIFTH STEP IN INTELLIGENT DECISION MAKING
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The 5th step in decision making involves putting
the decision into action. A decision made that
is not followed by action is an impassive idea,
nothing more.
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Dr. Frankl made an active decision so that he
would survive his ordeal. Others have made the
same decisions.
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For example, I remember being at a conference
where the keynote speaker was Elie Wiesel,
another noted author and survivor of the
holocaust. I recall a woman asking him how he
lived through his experience. He simply replied,
What was the alternative?
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Unlike Elie Wiesels situation, in many of the
decisions that you will face, you will have
alternatives. If you intelligently analyze the
alternatives and subsequent consequences of a
decision, then you will make choices that are in
your best interest.
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The bottom line here is that youll either make
decisions and take responsibility for the
outcomes, or you wont. There is no gray area
here. Are you going to class or not? Are you
helping others or not? Are you making a
difference or not?
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Are you taking action.or not?
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Some times it just seems easier toNOT make a
decision
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Do you remember that exercise earlier where you
had to write down the decisions that you have
made today? Hopefully that exercise illustrated
the fact that you can and do make decisions every
day.
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So why are there times when you consciously
choose not to make decisions? Understand that
its never I cant make a decision. Instead it
may be, I DONT WANT TO make a decision.
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Very often we do not want to take responsibility
for the outcomes of a decision, no matter what
those outcomes are. So what do we do? We dont
make a decision, which is actually making a
decision anyway.
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Decision Break-Down continued...

• We may choose not to make a decision because if
  things go awry its safer to say, I didnt
  make that decision. You cant blame me. Its
  unfortunate, but it seems that
• SAFERBETTER.

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This is not the case because just like it takes
time and repetition to build muscle when you work
out, it takes time and repetition to make good
decisions. Just like anything else, the more you
do it, the better at it you get.
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• So make the decision. Consult with others if
  you need to, but make it. In most instances even
  if its wrong, youll hopefully learn from the
  bad decision. Although it is not always
  possible, if youre fortunate, youll be able to
  go back and correct the problems that result from
  the bad decision later on.

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A Quick Review The things weve covered on
decision making

• 1. We must first be confronted with a D.O.
  (Decision opportunity) and reflect on what this
  opportunity means to us.
• 2. Analyze what we do and do not have control
  over.
• 3. Brainstorm likely outcomes for each decision?
• 4. Make the decision.
• 5. Put the decision into action.

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The decision-making process can be complicated at
timesWhat makes it even more difficult is that
decision making involves responsibilitywe are
all responsible for the decisions we make, our
resulting actions, and the final outcomes.Lets
talk a bit more about this
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Taking Responsibility

• Weve talked a little bit about this already as
  it relates to taking responsibility for our daily
  activities and decisions, but what does it really
  mean to take responsibility?

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The Merriam-Webster dictionary states that being
responsible means 1 a liable to be called on
to answer b (1) liable to be called to account
as the primary cause, motive, or agent 2 a
able to answer for one's conduct and obligations.
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I like to think of it this way- If I am going to
take responsibility, either as an individual or
as part of a group, then when all is said and
done I can say that I/We succeeded or I/We
failed. No them, or it, or they! I use the I/We
pronouns because I am taking responsibility for
the outcome.
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Taking Responsibility, continued

• This may be an easy concept to understand, but
  not so easy to put into practice. It is
  sometimes hard to take responsibility for a bad
  decision or a failure.

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• Do you remember earlier in this training module
  when I said that students will often tell me that
  they werent thinking when they made a bad
  decision?

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Unfortunately when it comes to bad decision
making.not thinking is usually the problem
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and not thinking or being too loaded to
think clearly is never an excuse for bad decision
making and not taking responsibility. NEVER!
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Hopefully, through this educational module
youll begin to intelligently think about
decisions before and as you make them.
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Of equal importance is that you realize that you
must take responsibility for the decisions you
make and the related actions that you take.
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Unfortunately, its often too easy to try to find
someone or something to blame when things do not
go as expected. Its difficult to look inward
and say, I screwed up.
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But in some instances when you really have
screwed up, this is exactly what you need to do.
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And maybe managing the results of a bad decision
would be easier if we could just figure out and
say, I made a mistake this time, and learn from
the situation so you dont make the same mistake
next time.
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As Henry Ford once said, Dont find fault, find
a remedy.
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Hopefully, through this educational module
youll learn to intelligently think about
decisions before and as you make them.
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• An idea on how to become a better decision
  maker
• For the next 10 days take a few minutes during
  your lunch hour to reflect on the decisions you
  have made that morning. Do the same thing at the
  end of the day for your afternoon decisions. Ask
  yourself, If I had it to do all over again,
  would I make different decisions?

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Becoming a good decision maker also involves
learning from your mistakes and the not-so- great
decisions that you make from time to time.
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Soafter a not-so-great decision ask yourself the
following questions1. Was it worth it?2. What
are some different
decisions I will make in the future?
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Taking Responsibility- A Final Illustration

• As we just stated, many of us dont want to take
  responsibility because we dont want to
  potentially say that we screwed up. Others
  struggle with making decisions because they are
  afraid to fail. But lets put this failure thing
  into perspective - take a look at this, and see
  if you can figure out who it is

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Taking Responsibility- A Final Illustration

• This person...
• Failed at business at age 21
• Was defeated in a legislative race at age 22
• Failed again in business at age 24
• Overcame the death of a sweetheart at age 26
• Had a nervous breakdown at age 27

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Any idea who this is yet??
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Taking Responsibility- A Final Illustration,
continued

• Lost a congressional race at age 34
• Lost a congressional race at age 36
• Lost a senatorial race at age 45
• Failed in an effort to become vice-president at
  age 47
• Lost a senatorial race at age 49

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Wow!! Thats a lot of failure, isnt it. One
might think after all of this to just throw in
the towel and not pursue life as a
politician. But wait, I forgot the last
bulleted item.
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Here it is
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This person, Abraham Lincoln became the 16th
President of the United States.
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As you live your life now in the residence halls,
and long after you leave, dont be afraid to make
a decision because you are afraid to failthe
reality is that failure is just a natural part of
life from time to time. Always as been, always
will be.
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To Conclude

• Hopefully the point to all of this is obvious
  that weve got to make our own decisions. No one
  will do that for us. And that weve got to take
  responsibility for ourselves. No one is going to
  do that for us either.

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References

• Covey, Stephen The 7 Habits of Highly Effective
  People, 1989, Simon and Schuster
• Frankl, Victor Mans Search For Meaning, 1984,
  Beacon Press
• Pike, Robert Creative Training Techniques
  Handbook Tips, Tactics, and How-To's for
  Delivering Effective Training, 1994, Lakewoods
  Publications
• Robbins, Anthony Unlimited Power, 1986, Simon
  and Schuster