The Face of Leadership

1
The Face ofLeadership

• Kurt Anderson, Ed.D.
• Peg Anderson, Ed.D.
• Pairadox Consulting

2

• Face it,
• your face says it all!!
• (Handout)

3
(No Transcript)
4
(No Transcript)
5
Research suggests that between 7 and 35of
our message is sent through words. Between 65
and 93 of our message is really sent through
non-verbal expressions. (Mehrabian Wiener)
6
It is estimated that over 200,000 physical signs
are capable of stimulating meaning. In fact,
there are 23 distinct eyebrow movements that
are capable of stimulating a different
meaning! (Mehrabian Wiener)
7
Every infant is born with the aptitude for
reading body language, gestures, and facial
expressions . . . Visual communication is
as natural as opening your eyes. The research
of Leonard Schlain
8
If we are to learn to improve the quality of
our leadership, we need to understand that it
often starts with our face
9
not what it looks like,
but what it is saying.
10
Pairadox Beliefs
Were all of the same sea. All professional
development is 1st PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT. You
cant apply it, if you dont believe it. We
have internal and external clients. Its all
about SERVICE. Your brand The People of the
organization. Its never either/or . . . Its
closer to both/and. The focus is on the long
term.
11
DANGER
Im me, so accept it and move on. It may
be their perception, but . . .
12

• No, no, you misunderstood.
• Hm-m-m-m, wonder what hell say now??
• I cant believe I have to stand here and listen
  to this!

13

• Its in Every One of Us!

14
Our face is the tool by which many people
begin to judge our likeability
15
and . . . likeability is a key to getting
our point across and leading others.
16
Likeability wins the job, the promotion,
the sale, the election, the acquittal . . .
17
Technology has come close to replacing the
handshake, the hug and person-to-person
relationship.
18
Sue Hershkowitz-Coore - Critical E-mail
Techniques . . . Instant Messaging . . . Not
Thinking. 60 of North Americans do not read
to the end of a line. Promoting - Internet
Free Fridays Its a matter of value and
respect.
19
We need hands-on communication
20
Remember the Burger King experiment to self
order and self serve . . .
21
People crave warm, caring, personalized
service!
22
People will forget what you said. People will
even forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them
feel.
23
Think about the person who waited on you for
breakfast today, or the hostess, or the person
who sat next to you this morning . . . .
24
Describe what that person was wearing . . .
25
Describe that persons facial expression . . .
How did that person make you feel?
26
Faces just pop into our minds recognizing
someones facial expression is a classic example
of unconscious cognition.
27
The most common forms of rapid cognition are
the judgments we make and the impressions we
form of other people.
28
Lets look at more research Roger Ailes Fox
Communications and Paul Ekman U of C - San
Francisco.
29
We start to make up our minds about other
people immediately within the first 7 seconds
of meeting them!
30
Consciously or unconsciously, we are signaling
to other people our true feelings.
31
In the first 7 seconds we ask ourselves, Do I
need to be alarmed by this person? Is this a
good person? Is he or she friendly? What are
this persons intentions?
32
The first 7 seconds have LASTING IMPACT!
33
We rapidly go through a series of options and
arrive at, and settle on a general
perception of that person.
34
Once the first 7 seconds have passed, its
extremely difficult to reverse that first
impression.
35
After the initial 7 seconds, we just fine-tune
everything we perceived.
36
If later behavior doesnt fit with positive
first impressions, we ask ourselves Gee, I
liked him before. Why dont I like him now?
37
We try to make our later impressions conform to
the framework of the decisions we made in the
first 7 seconds!
38
What are others saying about LIKEABILITY . . .
Susan Roane - How To Work a Room
A Likeability Primer Laugh
at yourself Make others feel comfortable.
Appear to be self confident and at ease.
Maintain eye contact, ask questions, listen.
Lean into greetings with a firm handshake a
smile. Make introductions with enthusiasm
compliments.
Verbal or Non-Verbal ???!!!!
39
Tim Sanders - The Likeability Factor If we want
the support from our associates, the loyalty of
our employees, to lead our followers to a better
future, and to be healthy and achieve our lifes
dreams, we must first be liked. Likeability
is the foundation of our success. . . and we can
increase our own!
40
An L-Factor Self Assessment What is your
LIKEABILITY SCORE??
41
Is this new ???

• 1936 - Dale Carnegie
• Smile.
• Be a good listener.
• Talk about others interests.
• Become genuinely interested in other people.
• Sincerely make the other person feel
  important.
• A persons name is the sweetest and most
  important sound in any language.

42
Its just that we often dont think about it!
Yet, all the gurus tell us we can work on it.
So, lets work on those first 7 seconds . . .
43
How do we send these instant messages? Our Face
!
44
As we know, we critically analyze complex
distinctions in facial expressions very quickly.

45
If I grin, with my eyes twinkling . . .
46
If I nod and smile exaggeratedly with the
corners of my lips tight . . .
47
If I make eye contact, give a small smile and
look down . . .
48
If I follow a remark with a quick smile, and
then nod or tilt my head sideways . . .
49
You dont need to hear what I say in order to
reach those conclusions . . . THEY JUST COME TO
YOU!
50
If you do something unexpected to someone . .
. where do they look to find an explanation . .
.
YOUR FACE !!!
51
Whenever we experience a basic emotion, that
emotion is automatically expressed by the
muscles of the face.
52
The response may linger on the face for just a
fraction of a second or only be detected by
electrical sensors, BUT IT IS ALWAYS THERE!
53
Somebody asks, What are you getting upset
about, or why are you smirking? YOU can hear
your voice, BUT you cant see your face.
54
We know, however, that women are wired to see
these faces of communications more than men.
The research of Pat Heim tells us . . .
55
What is this face saying?

• Genuine warmth?
• Concealed irritation?

Answer Concealed irritation! This is an
experienced flight attendant handling an
unpleasant passenger.
56
4 Ways people can judge you
Like Dislike Feel neutral Feel sorry
57
Your one goal is to be sure they LIKE you.
58
In American politics, the most vivid example of
likeability is our last three presidential
elections . . . Remember their faces??
59
Which face was LIKEABLE? Which face
wasnt? What was the outcome of the election?
60
(No Transcript)
61
(No Transcript)
62
(No Transcript)
63
And what about the face of the person who seems
to have been the most beloved American
President in recent years?
64
(No Transcript)
65
Lets look at our face few of us know our own
face. I see you and you see me, but we dont
really think about our own face.
66
We often only think about one of the 4 facial
expressions we have . . .
67

• The SMILE . . . .

68
The other 3 facial expressions that you see all
the time, but havent thought much about,
are A CLOSED FACE A NEUTRAL FACE AN OPEN
FACE
69
(No Transcript)
70

• Attributes of a
• CLOSED FACE . .

71

• What about a
• NEUTRAL FACE?

72

• What can you
• say about an
• OPEN FACE??

73
Your greatest tool is the open face, but some
meeting faces show conflict Doubting
Thomas Headshaker Nodder Eye Roller Smirker Inside
Joke
74
The key to LIKEABILITY is the OPEN face. And
remember, LIKEABILITY WINS the job, the
promotion, the sale, the election, the
acquittal. . .
75
Ailes calls likeability the magic bullet. . .
if you are likeable people will forgive just
about anything you do wrong.
76
People who are LIKEABLE have one MOST important
element. . . they like other people and
genuinely care about the well-being of others.
77
But, people who try hard to be likeable
ARENT! Why? . . . . . . .
78
. . . because your face determines your
voice. Not thinking about your face may create
a voice that is unintentional. But remember
those first 7 SECONDS!!
79
The voice of the face Closed Neutral Open
80
Now what about when you are on the phone . .
. or those who answer the phone in your
business?
81
Good morning, may I help you! Closed Neutral
Open
82
The face has sent a signal to the voice . .
. the face CONTROLS the voice!
83

• Directors of First Impression

84
But what about when YOU come in to work in the
morning???
85
Closed Neutral Open You must THINK ABOUT
IT!
86
Look in the mirror and practice these faces.
We promise you that youll get rid of the
closed and neutral faces!
87
Remember . . . The OPEN FACE is the LIKEABLE
FACE. And, LIKEABILITY wins the job, the
promotion, and the sale!
88
Action Plan! Whats yours?
89
Presented by Pairadox Consulting www.pairadox.co
m Kurt Anderson, Ed.D. Peg Anderson, Ed.D.