Ephesians 4:26

1
(No Transcript)
2
Ephesians 426

• Be angry, and yet do not sin

3
James 119-20

• 19 This you know, my beloved brethren. But
  everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and
  slow to anger 20 for the anger of man does not
  achieve the righteousness of God. (NASB95)

4
James 119-20

• 19 Post this at all the intersections, dear
  friends Lead with your ears,
• follow up with your tongue, and let anger
  straggle along in the rear.
• 20 Gods righteousness doesnt grow from human
  anger. (The Message)

5
Traits from kids living in a war zone

• being clingy
• insecurity
• low self-esteem
• a lack of belonging, feeling lost
• guilt and shame
• no impulse control
• feelings of helplessness

• exhibiting aggressive behavior themselves
• yelling at their own kids
• feeling fearful, unsure of the future
• embarrassed to bring friends over

6
How to be angry and not sin or How to Fight
Fair

• Brought to you by
• R D Enterprises
• Dr. Phil

7

• Tone of voice is critical

8

• Tone of voice is critical
• Language is a tool to build with or a weapon to
  destroy with
• Prov.154 Kind words heal and help cutting
  words wound and maim.
• Prov. 151 A gentle response defuses anger, but a
  sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.

9

• Tone of voice is critical
• Be proportional in your intensity

10
Be proportional in your intensity

• Prov. 1518 Hot tempers start fights a calm,
  cool spirit keeps the peace.
• Ecc. 37 A right time to shut up and another to
  speak up,

11

• Tone of voice is critical
• Be proportional in your intensity
• Pick your battles

12
Pick your battles

• Ecc. 38 A right time to wage war and another to
  make peace.

13

• Tone of voice is critical
• Be proportional in your intensity
• Pick your battles
• Keep it real, relevant and on the issue

14
Keep it real, relevant and on the issue

• If you fight about everything, your fighting
  about nothing

15

• Tone of voice is critical
• Be proportional in your intensity
• Pick your battles
• Keep it real, relevant and on the issue
• Avoid character assassination

16
Avoid character assassination

• Prov.1218 Rash language cuts and maims, but
  there is healing in the words of the wise.

17

• Tone of voice is critical
• Be proportional in your intensity
• Pick your battles
• Keep it real, relevant and on the issue
• Avoid character assassination
• Allow for your partner to retreat with dignity

18
Know what time it is!

• Ecc 31 Theres an opportune time to do things, a
  right time for everything on the earth
• Prov. 1624 Gracious speech is like clover
  honey good taste to the soul, quick energy for
  the body.

19
What should you do if you have ever done any of
these things?

• Ask God for forgiveness and receive it.
• By faith
• Intentionally
• Enter your spouses world
• Ask spouse for forgiveness
• Specifically- it shows youve thought through
  your own issues
• Dont say, Im sorry but if you hadnt

20

• If kids were around
• Apologize specifically and clarify your real
  feelings
• Im sorry I said your dad is a lazy slob. I
  love him, hes a good man but when he leaves his
  closes all over the place, I over reacted to it
  and I was wrong.
• Go after your root issue, not your spouses.

21
Remember the Bombshell

• I can not change another person by my actions, I
  can only change myself. When I change, others
  have a tendency to change.