PRESERVING MOTHERCHILD BONDING: WHEN MOM IS BATTERED

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PRESERVING MOTHER-CHILD BONDING WHEN MOM IS
BATTERED

• NATIONAL CONFERENCE ON CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT
• 2009

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Prevalence of Child Witnessing

• In 50-75 of battering incidents, children are
  present.
• At least 3.3 million children aged 3-17 are
  exposed to intimate partner violence against
  their mothers.
• Children are present and witness the murder of
  victims in 25 of femicide.

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Domestic Violence Child Abuse

• 30 - 60 co-occurrence of child abuse and
  domestic violence.
• Children exposed to domestic violence and sexual
  violence of their mothers may also be victims of
  physical and sexual abuse.

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Domestic Violence Child Abuse

• As many as 70 of batterers also abuse their
  children.
• Battered women are twice as likely to abuse their
  children as non-abused women.

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Defining Batterers

• A batterer is a person who exercises a pattern of
  coercive control in a partner relationship,
  punctuated by one or more acts of intimidating
  physical violence, sexual assault, or credible
  threats of physical violence.

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Batterer as Parent

• Authoritarian
• Under-involved
• Undermines mothers authority
• Undermines mothers parenting

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Batterer as Parent

• Limited sense of age-appropriateness
• Uses children as weapons
• Sees children as personal possessions

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PARENTING BY VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

• Experience greater stress does not translate to
  diminished parenting.
• More likely to use aggression against their
  children less likely when safe.

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PARENTING BY VICTIMS

• Compensate for violence in the home through
  increased nurturing and protection.
• Decisions around leaving or staying based on best
  interest of their children.

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MANY BATTERED WOMEN DO NOT REALIZE THE IMPACT OF
THE BATTERER ON THEIR PARENTING OR ON THE
CHILDREN
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FOCUS GROUPS

• 2004/05 eight focus groups
• Battered women involved with
• child welfare
• Outcomes
• Child welfare---Generic parenting not helpful
• Domestic violence programs--not enough help
  regarding heir children

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BUILDING RESILIENCY

• The most common indicator of resiliency in
  children exposed to domestic violence is the
  strength of the bond with the battered parent,
  and/or access to a healthy, close relationship
  with a non-violent adult figure. Perhaps the most
  harmful thing that can happen to children who
  witness violence is the destruction of the
  mother/child relationship (Bancroft Silverman,
  2002).

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Demonstration Project for Enhanced Services for
Children and Youth Exposed to Domestic Violence.

• Address the needs of children and youth exposed
  to domestic violence and to support and build the
  abused parents capacity and ability to build
  resiliency in children, in order to mitigate the
  impact of exposure to domestic violence and
  increase the opportunity for these children and
  youth to lead healthy, non-violent and safe lives
  as adults.

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BETH BITLEREXPERIENCES AS SURVIVOR AND MOTHER
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A KID IS SO SPECIAL(KISS)

• Program designed specifically for battered women,
  who are mothers, to strengthen the bond with
  their children and help build resiliency.

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A KID IS SO SPECIAL

• FIVE BOOKLETS
• General information on theme
• Poem or article on mother-child bond
• Activity for group discussion
• Information on impact on children
• Activities for mommy and me

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A KID IS SO SPECIAL

• Playing Together social development
• Learning Together school success
• Growing Together development
• Being Together family dynamics
• Understanding Together discipline

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GROUP ACTIVITY

• How would you introduce this activity?
• What would you say as the purpose?
• What additional information would you give?
• How would you close the activity?
• General impressions?

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WHO WILL TALK FOR US?

• We need you help.
• We need your understanding.
• Just always remember,
• We are kids!
• We are doing the best we can.

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RELATIONSHIP

• CHILDREN HEAL THROUGH RELATIONSHIP

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CONTACT INFORMATIONBeth Bitler PA Family
Support Alliancebbitler_at_pa-fsa.org717-238-0937
Barbara A. NissleyPA Coalition Against Domestic
Violenceban_at_pcadv.org800-932-4632