Annotations for Practice Set of TOP Writing Collections

1
Annotations for Practice Set of TOP Writing
Collections

• Grades 9-12

2
Student 1, Gr. 9, Advanced High

• With minimal support, ability to apply elements
  of grade-appropriate writing in English and to
  participate meaningfully in editing conferences
  to revise and polish drafts
• Occasional difficulty with naturalness of
  phrasing and expression (In the event where
  Sherry got angry is where is during the war, I
  took that as a threat challenge)
• Nearly comparable to writing of native
  English-speaking peers with respect to clarity
  and precision of expression
• Errors resulting from second language acquisition
  are minor and do not interfere with communication

3
Student 2, Gr. 12, Advanced

• Overall grasp of verbs, verb tenses, grammar
  features, and sentence patterns although there
  are errors (women sometimes doesnt have, Men
  work harders, The first school I went was)
• Sixth paper (My Life) shows ability to write in
  some detail with emerging clarity quality and
  quantity declines when abstract ideas are
  expressed
• Vocabulary not broad enough for precise
  descriptions
• Continued need for support in second language
  acquisition

4
Student 3, Gr. 10, Intermediate

• Ability to communicate simple, original ideas
  using short, simple sentences
• Frequent inaccuracies when creating or taking
  risks beyond high-frequency, familiar English
• Second language features (I write is letter for
  explaning, the Saturday went to River Walk, the
  stroll of Sea World look dolphin, in gym class
  does exercise about push) may limit understanding
  of those not accustomed to ELLs
• Little evidence of academic writing ability
• Often uses present tense to narrate about the
  past past tense used inconsistently or with
  inaccuracies

5
Student 4, Gr. 9, Beginning

• Little ability to apply elements of
  grade-appropriate writing in English or to
  participate meaningfully in editing conferences
  that address grade-appropriate writing tasks
• Frequent second language acquisition inaccuracies
  significantly hinder understanding, even for
  individuals used to the writing of ELLs (no
  talking everythings, diference places fain et
  with grandmother in to way, know make feel)
• Lacks knowledge of basic language structures
  necessary for simple, sentence-level
  communication writes mostly words and phrases

6
Student 5, Gr. 11, Intermediate

• Able to apply grade-appropriate writing elements
  in English to a limited extent
• Communication of original ideas
• Frequent features of second language acquisition
  (But was a little elementry student, what I like
  this school is that thing are better here, that
  how we know, it just go, my relationship with is
  aswsome)
• Difficulty linking ideas makes much of meaning
  unclear (Student that our looking for a challage
  in school depenting of what school skill, Knowing
  how the right materials could make are strong
  element for anything like steal and iron strong
  enough to hold a big building)

7
Student 6, Gr. 10, Advanced

• Grasp of basic verbs, basic tenses (past,
  present), grammar features, and sentence patterns
  although there are some errors partial grasp of
  more complex tenses and grammar
• Varied common cohesive devices (and, because,
  sometimes, when, finally)
• Occasional primary language features (she bourn
  in, she has 125 years old, no marar what, I
  decided to lost ourself, the best adventure I
  never had) but these do not hinder communication
• Vocabulary lacks specificity, not broad enough
  for detailed or precise descriptions
• Emerging ability to apply elements of
  grade-appropriate writing in English with support

8
Student 7, Gr. 12, Advanced High

• Vocabulary varied enough to communicate clearly
  and precisely
• Occasional difficulty with naturalness of
  phrasing and expression (Memories of our years
  through high school are some of the places where
  our mind is placed at, From then on I felt school
  as if it was my own home)
• Errors influenced by second language acquisition
  are minor and often limited to low-frequency
  words and structures (who knows almost about
  anythings you want to ask him about, a new custom
  which consisted in that each individual had to
  take a name)
• Minimal support needed to apply grade-appropriate
  elements of writing in English

9
Student 8, Gr. 11, Advanced (Higher)

• Grasp of basic verbs, tenses, grammar features,
  and sentence patterns although there are some
  errors (the difference make the world better, My
  Grandmom didnt talk anyone she was my Grandmom,
  I proud of my Grandmom, I was more close to, two
  of them leaved)
• Partial grasp of complex grammatical structures
• Emerging ability to apply elements of
  grade-appropriate writing
• First paper suggests use of dictionary or
  thesaurus (cognitions, flurried, constrainedly)

10
Student 8, continued

• Students attempts to use high level vocabulary
  not yet internalized and attempts to express
  abstract ideas in a sophisticated way result in
  frequent second language acquisition inaccuracies
  (Man was influenced by surroundings which have
  positive side and negative side, God get us
  things with reason, Lets learn and understand
  the beneficial surrounding, being different was
  not blemish, but specialities, Im amazement)
• Narrations, explanations, and descriptions
  developed in detail
• Communications usually understood by those not
  accustomed to the writing of ELLs
• Some need for continued support in second
  language acquisition

11
Student 9, Gr. 12, Intermediate

• Grasp of basic verbs and when to use basic tenses
  still limited difficulty with basic present
  tense verb formation (so she lisen and she always
  give money, he dont like, he only want)
• High-frequency, familiar vocabulary to express
  ideas in a simple way
• Undetailed writing in the first and third papers
  the student develops the second paper in more
  detail but quality of the writing suffers because
  of students limited English vocabulary

12
Student 10, Gr. 10, Advanced

• Grasp of basic verbs, tenses (past, present,
  future), grammar features, and sentence patterns
  although there are some errors (I didnt wanted,
  she really help me, he was worst than his
  brother)
• Occasional presence of second language
  acquisition features (I can count with my
  parents, Pedro was telling her that leave him
  alone, all people where I live, feel how it is be
  in Australia)
• Academic topics show some decline in writing
  quality, typical of advanced language learners
• Varied, basic sentence patterns and varied common
  cohesive devices (when, one time, and, but)
• Emerging ability, with support, to apply elements
  of grade-appropriate writing