Safe Environment Middle School Lesson

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Safe Environment Middle School Lesson

• Healthy Boundaries

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Healthy Boundaries
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Boundary
Defined...
Something that indicates a border or limit
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BOUNDARIES are important in friendships because
they determine where you start and end, and where
the other person starts. Just as an owner of real
estate may be angry to have someone trespass on
land that is owned, we become angry and hurt when
another person trespasses on our personal
boundaries.
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The purpose of having boundaries is to protect
and take care of ourselves.  We need to be able
to tell other people when they are acting in ways
that are not acceptable to us.  A first step is
starting to know that we have a right to protect
and defend ourselves.  That we have not only the
right, but the duty to take responsibility for
how we allow others to treat us.
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Types of Boundaries

• Physical
• Mental
• emotional

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Physical Boundaries
Physical boundaries refer to the area around a
person (personal space), which is generally 2.5
to 3 feet. Healthy boundaries respect personal
space and include the act of touching.
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Mental Boundaries
Mental boundaries include many important aspects
of life beliefs, thoughts, decisions, and
choices.
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Emotional Boundaries
Emotional boundaries refer to a person's
self-esteem and feelings. Name calling or
labeling a person can have negative effects, even
in jest. Humor is a powerful tool, and it should
be used wisely and never to hurt.
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Possible Unhealthy Boundaries

• YOU
• Tell your friends personal information
• Meet a total stranger at the mall and invite him
  into your home
• Give your phone number out to everyone
• Chat with and share photos of yourself with
  strangers on the internet
• post personal information on the internet
• Give everyone at school your famous family hug
• Let a family friend hug you all the time
• Give money to your best friends
• Walk into your friends house without knocking

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Setting Boundaries
The purpose of setting boundaries is to take care
of oneself.  Being forced to learn how to set
boundaries is a vital part of learning to own
oneself, of learning to respect oneself, of
learning to love oneself. 
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Setting Boundaries
Learning to set boundaries is vital to learning
to love oneself, and to communicating to others
that we have worth. There are basically three
parts to a boundary.  The first two are setting
the boundary - the third is what we will do to
defend that boundary. If you - a description of
the behavior we find unacceptable (again being as
descriptive as possible.) I will - a
description of what action you will take to
protect and take care of your self in the event
the other person violates the boundary. If you
continue this behavior - a description of what
steps you will take to protect the boundary that
you have set.
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What Do You Think?
Are the following examples of
healthy boundaries? Why/Why not?

• Ever since johnny was five years old, his mother
  would walk into the bathroom while he was
  bathing. He is now ten years old and she still
  walks in on him.
• Uncle charlie, a family friend, would bounce me
  on his lap when hed come over. Im 12 years old
  and he still wants to bounce me on his lap.
• A school friend of mine walks right up to me,
  within 2 or 3 inches of my face, to talk to me.
  
• My Sunday school teacher shakes my hand each
  time he sees me. Actually, he shakes every
  students hand.

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Examples of Setting Boundaries
I would appreciate it if you dont hug me all
the time. It makes me feel uncomfortable. If
you continue, I will no longer spend time with
you. If you ever hit me, I will call the police
and press charges - and I will leave this
relationship.  If you continue to threaten me, I
will get a restraining order and prepare to
defend myself in whatever manner is necessary.
Whenever you make fun of me and make me the
brunt of your jokes, it really hurts my feelings.
I would appreciate it if you stop. If you
continue with the insults, then I will stop
hanging out with you. When you carve stuff on
your wrists and arms with a razor, it really
scares me. It really is not healthy for you to
be doing that stuff. You need to stop hurting
yourself. If you continue, then I will call your
parents
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Reflect For A Moment...
What about your boundaries? What about the
boundaries of others Family? Friends? Acquaintanc
es? Strangers?
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A Final Thought...
Jesus is our guide in all things. In the
Scriptures, we find He rarely spoke harshly to
anyone. Some of his harder sayings, however, were
reserved for those who would harm others. Jesus
was also One who forgave, and continues to do so
today. His nature and interaction with us is
redemptive. In any circumstance where we have
failed to attend to modesty, misused language or
humor, or exploded our anger, we can begin again
with our hope in Christs compassion. Finally, we
should remember the gold rule Treat others the
way you want to be treated. Being an example is
always the best teacher- and what we do always
overwhelms and overshadows and outreaches what we
say.
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Powerpoint developed by dr. stuart miller This
presentation correlates to strand 1
Cognitive development, standard 1, benchmark a
boundaries, as outlined in the safe
environment standards and benchmarks developed by
the diocese of st. petersburg,
office of catholic schools and
centers, Parish Religious Education And Youth
Ministry Programs Sharing should be voluntary
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In Gratitude

• Bishop Robert N. Lynch, Bishop of St. Petersburg,
  Br. John Cummings, FMSSuperintendent of Catholic
  Schools, Mr. Brian Lemoi, Director of Faith
  Formation and Br. Jerry Meegan, Director for
  Youth Ministry gratefully acknowledge the work of
  the following professional staff member of the
  Pastoral Center and Parishes and Schools of the
  Diocese of St. Petersburg who developed this Safe
  Environment Education Program.

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In Gratitude

• Eileen Daly
• Kathy Filippelli
• Elizabeth Fulham
• Ralph Higginbotham
• Dr. Stuart Miller

• Dr. Jo Ann Quinn
• Kay Rizzo
• Sara Stranz
• Anna Marie Wright
• Cindy Yevich