Commentary

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Commentary

• Get out your notes and a writing utensil.

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Standard

• W2 Write informative and explanatory texts to
  examine ideas, concepts, and information
• W4 Produce clear and coherent writing in which
  the development, organization, and style are
  appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.
• Objective
• 1. TSW create commentary using specific
  vocabulary, development, and cohesiveness.

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Do you know how to write a good essay?

• One basic way to elevate the quality of your next
  essay is to stop summarizing and start
  commentating
• Its easier than you might think

4
BellWork

• Watch the following clip from the Movie Cloud
  Atlas.
• http//www.youtube.com/watch?vS7vGnWHUx80
• Next, I want you to comment on the quote (written
  out in the next slide). Say anything you want
  about the quote in at least two sentences.

5

• "Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we
  are bound to others. Past and present. And by
  each crime, and every kindness, we birth our
  future."

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Summary vs. Commentary

• Here are the three main differences between
  summary and commentary
• Summary is a brief account giving the main points
  of something.
• Commentary is a series of explanations and
  interpretations.

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Summary vs. Commentary

• Summary is surface.
• Commentary is deep.
• Summary is regurgitation.
• Commentary is original.

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There are many ways to provide commentary,
including
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Summary vs. Commentary

• Watch this video clip from Shaun of the Dead.
• Pay attention to what is happening around Shaun.

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Summary vs. Commentary

• In this scene from the 2004 movie
  Shaun of the Dead, Shaun (played by Simon Pegg)
  wakes up and walks to the convenience store to
  buy a soda and an ice cream. In his condition, he
  does not notice anything that is going on around
  him. On his way to the store, he walks by what
  appears to be zombies roaming the street. There
  is mayhem all around him. A car window is smashed
  and the alarm is blaring, a person is running for
  his life away from zombies, there are bloody
  handprints on the cooler, and the convenience
  store clerk is missing. On his way home, Shaun
  passes even more zombies, including one who he
  mistakes for a homeless person. When the zombie
  approaches him, Shaun says, No, I dont have any
  change. I didnt even have enough for the shop.
  He makes it home safely and turns on the TV,
  ignoring the news reports about the zombie
  invasion.

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Summary vs. Commentary

• My summary simply regurgitates what happened,
  play-by-play.
• Theres really no point in reading this summary
  instead, you could just watch the scene.

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How to Write a Good Essay Offer an Opinion

• First, Im going to insert an opinion into my
  summary. To make it easier for you to follow,
  Ill highlight my opinion in blue.
• In this clever and satirical scene from the 2004
  movie Shaun of the Dead, Shaun (played by Simon
  Pegg) wakes up and walks to the convenience store
  to buy a soda and an ice cream.

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Next, insert an interpretation

• In his condition, he does not notice anything
  that is going on around him. This provides
  insight on how Shaun, like many of us, lives his
  day-to-day life, almost as a zombie himself, just
  going through the motions without noticing the
  world in which he lives.

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Next, insert some insight.

• On his way to the store, he walks by what appears
  to be zombies roaming the street. There is mayhem
  all around him, but this mayhem isnt a far cry
  from Shauns daily reality. A car window is
  smashed and the alarm is blaring. Today it is
  from a zombie, but on a normal day, a regular
  thief could have smashed it. A person is running
  for his life away from zombies, but on a normal
  day, it could be a person running to catch the
  bus.

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Next, insert personal reaction

• There are bloody handprints on the cooler, and
  the convenience store clerk is missing, which,
  along with the creepy music soundtrack, gives a
  sense of impending doom as the viewer watches
  Shaun obliviously bumble along.
• NOTE THIS PERSONAL REACTION IS STATED AS A FACT.

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Finally, insert evaluation and a little more
opinion and insight.

• On his way home, Shaun passes even more zombies,
  including one who he mistakes for a homeless
  person. When the zombie approaches him, Shaun
  says, No, I dont have any change. I didnt even
  have enough for the shop. Incidents like these
  make this film the perfect satirical comedy about
  what it means to be alive in the 21st century.
  This is emphasized again when Shaun makes it home
  safely and turns on the TV, ignoring the news
  reports about the zombies. This brilliant satire
  points to the sad fact that a typical persons
  life is already so horrible that a zombie
  apocalypse wouldnt even mark a change for the
  worse.

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The commentary as a whole

• In this clever and satirical scene from the
  2004 movie Shaun of the Dead, Shaun (played by
  Simon Pegg) wakes up with a hangover and walks to
  the convenience store to buy a soda and an ice
  cream.
• In his hungover condition, he does not notice
  anything that is going on around him. This
  provides insight on how Shaun, like many of us,
  lives his day-to-day life, almost as a zombie
  himself, just going through the motions without
  noticing the world in which he lives.
• On his way to the store, he walks by what
  appears to be zombies roaming the street. There
  is mayhem all around him, but this mayhem isnt a
  far cry from Shauns daily reality. A car window
  is smashed and the alarm is blaring. Today it is
  from a zombie, but on a normal day, a regular
  thief could have smashed it. A person is running
  for his life away from zombies, but on a normal
  day, it could be a person running to catch the
  bus.
• There are bloody handprints on the cooler, and
  the convenience store clerk is missing, which,
  along with the creepy music soundtrack, gives a
  sense of impending doom as the viewer watches
  Shaun obliviously bumble along.
• On his way home, Shaun passes even more
  zombies, including one who he mistakes for a
  homeless person. When the zombie approaches him,
  Shaun says, No, I dont have any change. I
  didnt even have enough for the shop. Incidents
  like these make this film the perfect satirical
  comedy about what it means to be alive in the
  21st century. This is emphasized again when Shaun
  makes it home safely and turns on the TV,
  ignoring the news reports about the zombies. This
  brilliant satire points to the sad fact that a
  typical persons life is already so horrible that
  a zombie apocalypse wouldnt even mark a change
  for the worse.

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Questions to help yourself if you get stuck with
commentary on a quote

• What does this quote mean? (Explanation)
• How does this quote add to the point of my
  paragraph/ thesis statement? (Connection)
• What is my opinion about the authors point in
  this quote? Remember to state your opinion as
  FACT! (Personal Reaction)
• What is the value of this quote to the stimulus
  and to my argument? (Judgment)
• What does this quote saying below the surface
  meaning? Is there satire, irony, symbolism, an
  overarching theme? (Insight)

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Youre turn! Individual

• Re-read Pg. 323-325 from The Devil and Tom
  Walker.
• First write a short 5-7 sentence summary using 1
  direct quote.
• Second supplement your summary and quote with
  COMMENTARY. Utilize the techniques weve covered
  today.
• Third Label the kind of commentary you use.
• End Product a final paragraph at least a half a
  page long that is labeled.

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Group Work!

• Get in your thesis statement pairs from Tuesday.
• Share your commentary with each other.
• You are in charge of quality control for your
  partners commentary!
• HELP THEM!!!
• Keep it academic.

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Review

• Why is commentary important to your essay?
• What are the 5 kinds of commentary that we
  learned about today?
• Can you define them?

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Exit Card

• List one thing that you feel confident about in
  your writing that weve covered in the last few
  days.
• List one thing that you still need help
  understanding.
• Write your name on the card. Hand it to me on
  your way out the door.