BEYOND REVISION

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BEYOND REVISION
PRESENTED BY LISA FRASE
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A Writers Work is Never Done revise v. 1.
The act or process of changing or modifying, as
of a book or other written material. To revise
is to resee, to look at a work, a page, or a text
again. Donald Graves
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• A Writers Work is Never Done
• When I write I think and put things together.
  When Im done writing, I look over it again and
  write it over again. I change anything I feel
  like changing.
• Adriana, 4th grader
• -When I write, I make up weird things. I revise
  and I make sure I dont have a lot of mistakes.
  If I dont have any other ideas I go back to
  another story. Sometimes I like to go back and
  reread what I wrote.
• Alexa, 4th grader
• -When I write I think about what I write, but
  when I write it doesnt sound right, so I go off
  and read. Then I put new words in it and it
  starts to sound right.
• Arleshia, 4th grader

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The Secret of Commas Part I Use commas in a
letter Dear Mary, Sincerely,
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The Secret of Commas Part II Use a comma in a
list of items I went to the store to buy
milk, bread, and eggs.
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The Secret of Commas Part III Dont use a comma
to separate a verb from its subject. I
shook my head and sat down on the bed. (The
subject is I. The I is implied I sat down
on the bed.)
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The Secret of Commas Part IV Use a comma if
listing two or more actions and the subjects are
different. I shook my head, and he sat down.
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The Secret of Commas Part V Tri-Action
Sentences a. Use a comma if listing two or more
actions I shook my head, sighed and sat
down.
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The Secret of Commas Part V Tri-Action
Sentences b. Or if you interject (verb phrase).
I shook my head, shocked at what I was
hearing, and sat down.
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If there was ever never a was He was tall. She
was fast. It was big. It was fun.
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If there was ever never a was He was tall. How
tall was he? The shadow of the basketball player
loomed over the ant of a boy and smiled. Dont
tell me. Show me.
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If there was ever never a was She was fast. How
fast was she? Tyrell ran like the wind. Dont
tell me. Show me.
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If there was ever never a was It was big. What
was big? How big was it? It was fun. What was
fun? How fun was it? Dont tell me. Show me.
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• Say It With Less Words
• Shoot the adverbs. Kill the adjectives.
• -Mark Twain.
• Adverbs can be redundant.
• Only weak verbs need adverbs to prop them up.
• Strings of adjectives are unnecessary.

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I ran quickly from the room. Or I darted from
the room. A strong verb is more effective than a
weak verb that has to be propped up by an
adverb.
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He stealthily entered the closed art
museum. Or He stole into the closed art
museum. A strong verb is more effective than a
weak verb that has to be propped up by an
adverb.
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Watch out! he said loudly. Or Watch out! he
yelled. A strong verb is more effective than a
weak verb that has to be propped up by an
adverb.
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I cant believe it, she said proudly. I did
it. I actually did it. Or I cant believe it,
she said. I did it. I actually did it. Adverbs
are often used redundantly in dialogue tags. In
this example, the characters statement shows her
pride, so the word proudly is unnecessary.
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The beautiful lady with the shiny golden blonde
hair sat daintily in her seat. Or She sat like a
queen at a royal ball. A nice simile or metaphor
is much stronger than a sentence loaded with
adjectives. Unload and repack.
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