Session 3

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Session 3 Managing Staff and Difficult
BehaviorsManaging Change
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How am I a difficult person? (self-assessment)

• When working with others
• do you worry more about getting the job done or
  maintaining a good relationship with the group?
• If you could have only one outcome, which would
  it be?

• When dealing with others
• do you tend to be more aggressive, offering your
  opinions first, or do you tend to be more
  passive, waiting to see what others have to say?
• Are you intent upon defining the situation to
  suit your needs or are you more likely to hang
  back and look for opportunities?

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• At your most annoying and obnoxious, would those
  who know you best say that your primary need is
• to get things done?
• for attention and recognition?
• to get along?
• to get it right?

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Seven assumptions about learning to deal with
difficult people

• There is no simple, foolproof way to deal with
  difficulty people human beings are more complex
  than all the theories of human development.
• Learning to deal with difficult people is an
  opportunity to learn about ourselves.
• The only person I can change is myself by
  changing my behavior, I can change how others
  deal with me.
• Labeling a behavior as difficult helps us
  identify and choose strategies it is not useful
  for building a long-term relationship.

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Seven assumptions about learning to deal with
difficult people

• Behaviors of difficult people can indicate
  personality strengths.
• Although conflict is not acceptable in some
  cultures, change cannot occur without some
  conflict.
• Difficult people are identified as such because
  they block us from what we want.

Newton, A. (1994). Mentoring A resource and
training guide for educators. Andover, MA The
Regional Laboratory for Educational Improvement.
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Questions to ask yourself when dealing with a
difficult person

• What is it worth to me to get involved?
• Am I clear about my goal?How is this an
  opportunity for me?
• How flexible am I willing to be?
• Whats really going on here?
• Do I think I can make progress here?
• Am I prepared for setbacks?
• Others?

Newton, A. (1994). Mentoring A resource and
training guide for educators. Andover, MA The
Regional Laboratory for Educational Improvement.
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Five Steps for Getting Past NO
1. Dont react Speak when you are angry and you
will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Ambrose Bierce 2. Disarm Them One must know how
to sail with a contrary wind and to tack until
one meets a wind in the right direction. Fortune
DeFelice 3. Dont Reject . . . Reframe Craft
against vice I will apply. William
Shakespeare 4. Build Them a Golden Bridge Build
your adversary a golden bridge to retreat
across. Sun Tau 5. Make it Hard to Say No The
best general is the one who never fights. Sun Tau
Ury, William (1991) Getting Past No Negotiating
with Difficult People. Bantam Books
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The Change Equation
Vision Skill Incentive Resources Action Plan Change

Skill Incentive Resources Action Plan Confusion

Vision Incentive Resources Action Plan Anxiety

Vision Skill Resources Action Plan Resistance

Vision Skill Incentive Action Plan Frustration

Vision Skill Incentive Resources Treadmill
Adopted from Dyer, Timothy J. (1996) Breaking
Ranks Changing an American Institution A Report
of the National Association of Secondary School
Principals on the High School of the 21st
Century. NASSP.
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Four square evaluation
Please divide a blank sheet of paper into four
sections. Using the lables in the sample below
provide the presenters with your formative
feedback.
Thoughts / Ideas Concerns
Feelings Questions