Simmessy Tech Back Pain Relief

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(No Transcript)
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• Is your spine smashed, or out of place, well
  after just 3 weeks of treatment your spine could
  be straight, and you would be saying goodbye to
  back pain for ever.

in 10 out of 100 cases, I like those odds!!
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Yes!

• Are you sick of doing exercises to cure your back
  pain?
• I sure am!!

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(Yeah, straight to the morgue!!)
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• Instead, spread a whole lot of toxic chemicals in
  the form of a sweet smelling cream onto your
  spine! Sounds pretty damn good to me!!!

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• Each pack of tablets comes with a bonus mix in
  anaesthetic!
• Your back will be so numb, youll think youve
  lost your spine
• (May cause extended numbness in other
  organs/limbs/brain)
• Will

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• After testing Simmos back relief scientists
  have proven that it almost halves the amount of
  back pain.
  
  they
  told us they were scientists

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Did you like that last chart, heres another one.
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Heres another more complicated one!
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• Included in this high quality package, are no
  less than 400 capsules guaranteed to get rid of
  back pain, a 3 kilo tub of instant back pain
  relief rub and you even get a free t-shirt that
  says I HAVE BACK PAIN. Hows that for value!!!
• This whole package has a total value of 300.00,
  but today its yours for only 89.95!! What
  value!!!

Not quite true
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• Because we believe in customer service, we
  include a set of fancy graphs and diagrams, to
  give you confidence in purchasing our product!
• (People with epilepsy should not view them)

Quality
Value
Customer Satisfaction
Service
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Company Information

• All of our special potions are created in
  profesional looking test tubes, like these.
• Because some of our customers have a small
  recovery period, we are happy to provide you with
  a wheel chair for an extra fee(189.95). This is
  a symbol of our great customer dedication.
• (Why did that Coroner want to shut us down?)
• 89
• 20 years

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Only one in five customers end up like this!
That means less pain for you and less court
cases for us!!
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• Now I bet you want to know about our weaknesses,
  but a weakness is considered as a bad thing, and
  you dont want to know about bad things, do you?
  I mean if we tell you a whole lot of bad things,
  your back might hurt more, and then youd have to
  buy more of our products (hmmm). Our chart proves
  this.
• -Tim of Simessy Tech
• We think

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• It took Andrew and Tim of Simessey tech nearly
  ten years to create this amazing product, and
  yes, when buying this product you get the
  satisfaction of knowing that it was made by Tim
  and Andrew themselves.
  

Tim and Andrew
or one of their pet monkeys.
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• We can give you a guarantee that you wont need
  one of these signs on your windshield for at
  least two years after taking Simessy Tech back
  pain relief.

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• ...And if Simessy Tech back pain relief doesnt
  work then not only will we let you keep the
  product (we advise you not to), but we will also
  give you a whole 100 of the price you paid back.

This is one impotant piece of paper.
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.....for Simessy Techs instant back relief!!!!!
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This ad has been brought to you by channel 69,
damn straight it suc.
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Sorry, but were currently expieriencing
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created by ANRKI and PYRO And some of the
deroes at flinder st.
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anrki 2001