ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN BEING

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ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN BEING

• Active verbs, BE verbs, helping verbs, and
  passive voice

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Form of Be

• Is
• Am
• Are
• Was
• Were
• Be
• Being
• Been

• Has
• Have
• Had
• Do
• Does
• Did

• Shall
• Will
• Should
• Would

• Might
• May
• Must
• Can
• Could

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Just being is sufficient action to qualify as a
verb

• Her husband is on the sofa.
• He still had a disco-era polyester leisure suit.

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However, BE verbs are rarely the best choice. Try
something else

• Her husband vegetates on the sofa.
• He still owned (sported? wore? possessed?) a
  disco-era polyester leisure suit.

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Passive voice

• Emphasizes the action itself instead of who or
  what performed the action.

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Active voice

• The voice used to indicate that the grammatical
  subject of the verb is performing the action or
  causing the happening denoted by the verb.

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Passive Voice

• PASSIVE
• The check was signed by the accountant.
• ACTIVE
• The accountant signed the check.

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Passive Voice

• PASSIVE
• Carl and Earl were rejected by every girl in
  town.
• ACTIVE
• Every girl in town rejected Carl and Earl.

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USAGE RULE

• If you know (or care) who is doing itthen say so!

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When to use Passive Voice

• To emphasize the action rather than the doer of
  the action
• The rich debutante was arrested and scrubbed with
  antiseptic soap.

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When to use Passive Voice

• When who did it is unknown or unimportant
• The crimes have been solved.
• The office was ransacked and the copy machines
  were sacrificed to the gods.

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Sample 1 - Original

• There are other minor regrets I have, like
  quitting instruments, not going camping with my
  friends one weekend, and not buying that shirt or
  those shoes. Even though Ive learned there are
  moments in ones life that are regrettable, there
  are always ways to change those regrets into
  learning experiences that you can use as a
  guidance to pave the right path for your future.

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Sample 1 - Revision

• Other minor regrets also nag me, (stick in my
  subconscious), like quitting instruments, not
  going camping with my friends that one weekend,
  and not buying that shirt or those shoes. Yet,
  through these experiences I learned that lifes
  moments of regret can change into learning
  experiences that provide guidance and pave the
  right path for the future.

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Sample 2 - Original

• Time marches on with or without us. When I was
  eight I dreamed of reaching thirteen, finally
  having the title of teenager. When I was
  thirteen, I anticipated the golden age of
  sixteen, the freedom of your drivers license and
  the knowledge of responsibility like I had never
  had before

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Sample 2 - Revision

• Time marches on with or without us. At eight I
  dreamed of reaching thirteen, finally boasting
  the title of teenager. At thirteen, I anticipated
  the golden age of sixteen, the freedom of a
  drivers license, and a new level of knowledge of
  responsibility

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Sample 3 - Original

• When I was a young child, my mother would always
  play either jazz music or classical music on the
  radio. She would play Kenny G., Toni Braxton,
  Patsy Cline, and other artists. I remember being
  in the car always falling asleep to the music

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Sample 3 - Revision

• When I was a young child, my mother always played
  either jazz music or classical music on the
  radio--Kenny G., Toni Braxton, Patsy Cline, and
  other artists. I remember falling asleep to that
  music in the car

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ON-LINE ASSIGNMENT

• Log on to www.dianahacker.com/pocket
• Click on the BLUE BOX that says Electronic
  Grammar Exercises
• Click on Clarity and a list of exercises will
  appear in a drop down menu.
• SELECT EXERCISE 2-3
• Active verbs (edit and compare)
• SIGN IN WITH YOUR FIRST AND LAST NAME
• Enter my email address
• dnelson_at_manhattan.k12.ca.us
• Complete the exercisebe sure to click on
  possible revisions after each response.
• At the end, PRINT RECORD of your responses and
  turn it in.

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Writing Assignment

• Revise your first essay for active language and
  minimal use of BE verbs.
• Strive for significant change and improvement in
  the strength of the language and writing.
• Major re-write, not just in-text substitution of
  verbs.
• Bring out the power in the story using vivid and
  active language.
• Do not settle for anything less than a great
  story.
• THIS REVISION IS DUE no later than TUESDAY.
• STAPLE THE NEW REVISION TO THE TOP OF THE FIRST
  DRAFT and turn them both in together.
• Will be graded on level of improvement from first
  draft to this revision.